Denial - what does it mean in psychology? Denial as a defense mechanism

It manifests itself as a refusal to acknowledge the existence of something unwanted.

Description

Denial is an extremely easy defense to understand. Its name speaks for itself - the person using it, in fact, denies events or information that he cannot accept.

An important point is the difference between denial and repression, which lies in the fact that information subject to repression was first realized, and only then is it repressed, and the information that has been denied does not enter consciousness at all. In practice, this means that repressed information can be recalled with some effort, and subjectively it will be perceived as forgotten. A person, after refusing this protection, will not remember information that has been denied, but acknowledges, because before that I did not perceive it at all as existing or having meaning.

A typical example of denial is the first reaction to a significant loss. The first thing a person does when receiving information about the loss, for example, of a loved one, is to deny this loss: “No!” - he says, “I didn’t lose anyone. You are mistaken". However, there are many less tragic situations where people often use denial. This is the denial of one’s feelings in situations where experiencing them is unacceptable, the denial of one’s thoughts if they are unacceptable. Denial is also a component of idealization, when the existence of shortcomings of the idealized is denied. It can be useful in critical situations where a person can keep his head by denying danger.

The problem with denial is that it cannot protect you from reality. You can deny the loss of a loved one, but the loss does not disappear. You can deny that you have a dangerous disease, but this does not make it any less dangerous, quite the opposite.

Links to mental disorders and personality types

Denial is especially characteristic of mania, hypomania and in general people with bipolar affective disorder in the manic stage - in this state a person can deny the presence of fatigue, hunger, negative emotions and problems in general for an amazingly long time, until this physically depletes his resources body (which usually leads to a depressive phase).

denial) A PROTECTIVE mechanism by which:

a) some painful experience is denied;

b) some impulse or part of SELF is denied.

It is clear that a) and b) are different processes. According to Freud, the denial of painful PERCEPTIONS is a general manifestation of the PLEASURE PRINCIPLE, where denial is part of the hallucinatory WISH FULFILLMENT (see also HALLUCINATION). As a result, all painful perceptions are forced to overcome the resistance of the pleasure principle. Denial of certain aspects of oneself is something more complex, because, according to Klein, it is followed by SPLITTING and PROJECTION, as a result of which the patient denies the presence of such and such feelings, but continues to convince that someone else has them (See KLEINEAN). denial of psychic reality is a manifestation of MANIC DEFENSE; it consists of denying the intrinsic importance of experience, in particular DEPRESSIVE feelings (see also REALITY). Denial should be distinguished from REFUSAL, in which a painful perception is allowed into consciousness in a negative form, for example, the first sign of a headache is the thought: “It’s good that I haven’t had a headache for so long.”

NEGATION

A primitive or early defense mechanism by which an individual rejects some or all of the meanings of an event. In this way the ego avoids awareness of certain painful aspects of reality and thereby reduces anxiety or other unpleasant affects. Explicit or implicit denial is also an integral aspect of all defense mechanisms. Since the late 1970s, the term has come to be used not so much to describe a separate defense mechanism, but rather to describe the reality-denying aspect of defensive actions.

To eliminate the perception of reality, fantasy comes to the rescue, smoothing out inconsistent and undesirable aspects of the situation. A current, frightened and defenseless child may imagine himself strong or omnipotent. Denial is also often achieved through action, although this is also based on unconscious denying fantasies.

Denial is normal during childhood, and moderate levels of denial at any age are an expected and usually natural reaction to stress, trauma, or the loss of a loved one. Denial may involve massive or relatively mild and selective distortion of reality. In extreme cases, denial can take the form of delusion (the mother is convinced that the doll is her dead child), indicating psychosis. To a certain extent, reality is distorted and denied in all neuroses, but persistent denial often indicates serious problems. On the other hand, in the sphere of feelings or affects, persistent denial is sometimes normal and adoptive. (We continue to fly airplanes despite plane crashes; we act as if there is no threat of nuclear war, etc.) The psychoanalytic literature of the past dealt primarily with the pathological aspects of denial that manifest themselves in psychosis. Currently, there is a tendency towards a broader definition of denial, including normal and neurotic forms.

Strictly speaking, negation usually refers to external reality, while repression is associated with internal representatives. Refutation, often considered synonymous with denial, includes aspects of repression, isolation, and denial. Refutation allows for what has been repressed into consciousness, but in a negative form. Freud (1925) gives an example: a patient who dreamed of a woman says: “You ask who the person I dreamed might be? It is not my mother.” “A negative judgment is an intellectual ersatz of repression” (p. 236), enriching thinking, but isolating it from affect and thereby denying its emotional impact.

Negation

A defense mechanism by which a person can deny one aspect of reality. For example, if someone cannot come to terms with the death of a loved one, he still talks to him, sets the table for him, even washes and irons his clothes.

NEGATION

A defense mechanism that simply denies or rejects the thoughts, feelings, desires, or needs that are causing the anxiety. The term is used exclusively to refer to unconscious actions aimed at "denial" that cannot be carried out consciously.

Negation

Denial of reality (or conflict) manifests itself in the fact that a person does not perceive individual real situations, their parts, objects, conflicts, etc. In psychoanalysis, denial is considered as a special form of resistance. On this occasion, S. Freud wrote that there are patients who behave “somewhat strangely.” The deeper the analysis progresses, the more difficult it is for them to recognize the memories that arise and deny them even when they already emerge in memory.

In general, the described mechanism of psychological defense includes distortion of information (its form or meaning) at the beginning of perception, which can traumatize the individual.

In this regard, S. Freud described the operation of three aspects of this mechanism (due to the fact that the psychosemantics of this term is ambiguous in different languages, we use it in this manual in the psychoanalytic interpretation of S. Freud):

1. denial is a means of realizing the repressed;

2. denial eliminates only individual consequences of the repression process;

3. through denial, the psyche is freed from the restrictions associated with repression.

S. Freud argued that denial is the earliest ontogenetically and most primitive defense mechanism, which is considered as ancient as the feeling of pain. The ability to deny the unpleasant aspects of reality serves as a kind of temporary addition to fulfilling desires and maintaining affective balance, in which conflict is not allowed inside the personality, one’s Self.

NEGATION

A defense mechanism in which the subject's ego avoids awareness of certain painful aspects of reality, as in the apparent disregard of anatomical differences by a small boy.

NEGATION

a person’s way of rejecting his unconscious drives, desires, thoughts, feelings, which in fact indicates the presence of a repressed unconscious. In classical psychoanalysis, the patient’s denial of unconscious desires and painful manifestations is perceived as a kind of defense, and the denial of the analyst’s interpretations is perceived as resistance to treatment.

The problem of denial attracted the attention of S. Freud at the beginning of his research and therapeutic activities. In the work “Studies on Hysteria” (1895), jointly written with J. Breuer, he noted that thanks to the cathartic method, the patient reproduces thoughts that he refuses to recognize as his own, although he agrees that they are certainly required by logic. Often a pathogenic memory is recognized precisely because the patient designates it as unimportant, and there are cases when the patient tries to renounce this memory even when the repressed unconscious returns to consciousness. “A particularly clever form of denial is to say: “Now, it’s true that something occurred to me, but it seems to me that I added it arbitrarily, it seems to me that it was not a reproduced thought.” In the process of therapeutic activity, the doctor learns to distinguish the absence of memories from signs of affect, with which, according to S. Freud, “the patient tries to deny in order to fight back the emerging reminiscence.”

The phenomenon of denial was subjected to special consideration in the later period of research and therapeutic activity of the founder of psychoanalysis in the article “Denial” (1925); he revealed the psychological source of the function of denial and its significance in the therapeutic process. From the point of view of S. Freud, “the repressed content of an idea or thought can make its way to consciousness - provided that it is denied.” Thus, negation is a way of taking note of what is repressed. Thus, we are talking about recognizing the psychological source of this function. “To deny something in a judgment is, in essence, to say: “This is something that I would most like to repress. Condemnation is an intellectual substitute for repression; its “no” is the stigma of this latter.” In the understanding of S. Freud, through the symbol of negation, thinking is, as it were, freed from the restrictions imposed by repression and enriched with content, without which it cannot do. The creation of a symbol of negation endows thinking with the first degree of independence from the results of repression and from the pressure of the pleasure principle.

As for the study of judgment from the point of view of affirmation and negation, it allows, as S. Freud believed, to consider the emergence of an intellectual function through the prism of the play of primary instinctive impulses: confirmation belongs to Eros, negation to the destructive drive. “The universal passion for denial, the negativism of many psychotics should obviously be understood as a sign of the stratification of drives due to the withdrawal [from their mixtures] of libidinal components.” This interpretation of negation is fully consistent with the fact previously established by S. Freud that recognition of the unconscious on the part of the ego is expressed in a negative formulation. Explaining this circumstance, he emphasized: “There is no stronger evidence of a successful discovery of the unconscious than the case when the analysand reacts to it with the following words: “I didn’t think about that” or: “I [never] thought about that.”

The process of denial was also correlated by S. Freud with the experiences that, in his opinion, a little girl experiences when she discovers the absence of a penis. This process begins in a child’s mental life and is not fraught with dangers, unlike in an adult, whose denial may signify psychosis. “The girl refuses to acknowledge the fact of her castration, is firmly convinced that she has a penis and, as a result, is forced to behave as if she were a man.” It was from this angle that the problem of denial was conceptualized by the founder of psychoanalysis in his article “Some psychic consequences of the anatomical difference between the sexes” (1925).

In his work “Constructions in Analysis” (1937), S. Freud examined the problem of denial from the point of view of the patient’s disagreement with the assumptions and interpretations given by the analyst during the therapy process. The need for such a consideration was caused by the fact that some researchers criticized the analytical technique for the fact that if the patient agreed with the psychoanalyst, then this was taken for granted, but if he objected, then this was interpreted as a sign of resistance. In any case, the analyst was always right in relation to the patient being analyzed.

In response to this critical consideration, S. Freud noted that the analyst does not accept the patient’s “no” as completely reliable and recognizes his “yes” as unconvincing, and it would be wrong to accuse him of in all cases reinterpreting the patient’s expressions to confirm his own. opinions, interpretations, constructions. The patient's “no” proves nothing about the validity of the construct. It may be resistance or the result of some other factor in the analytical situation. Since any analytical construction is incomplete, we can assume that “the person being analyzed does not actually deny what was communicated to him, but intensifies his protest against the part of the truth that has not yet been fully revealed,” that is, “the only reliable interpretation of his “no” is a hint of incompleteness.”

In general, denial in psychoanalytic therapy has important psychological and symbolic meaning. It makes it possible, with a high degree of probability, to judge the effectiveness of the repressed unconscious and resistance, as well as to track the corresponding reactions of the patient, indicating that behind his negativism lies an affirmative meaning that is directly related to both unconscious desires, thoughts, feelings, and the success of psychoanalytic treatment, since often in response to the analyst’s false construction the patient does not react in any way, while to the correct construction he may experience a negative therapeutic reaction, accompanied by a clear deterioration in his well-being.

Freud's ideas about denial were further developed in the research of some psychoanalysts. In particular, using the example of an analysis of children's fantasies and their comparison with psychotic illusions, A. Freud (1895–1982) came to the conclusion that in some acute confused psychotic states, patients can use a defense mechanism such as denial. Such patients are able to deny facts, replace unbearable reality with a pleasant illusion, that is, resort to the mechanism of “denying the existence of objective sources of anxiety and displeasure.” Denial of reality is also, in her opinion, one of the motives underlying children's games. In her work “The Ego and Defense Mechanisms” (1936), A. Freud demonstrated how and in what way young children can resort to defense through denial in fantasy, word and action, and emphasized that when used excessively this method is such a mechanism that which provokes eccentricity and idiosyncrasy in the ego, which is difficult to get rid of after the end of the period of primitive denial.

Denial can manifest itself in both normal and pathological forms. Psychoanalysis takes both into account. And although in the process of analytical treatment one has to deal primarily with the neurotic aspects of denial, nevertheless, modern analysts give denial a broader meaning. This is also partly due to the difficulty of distinguishing between the Freudian concepts of “Verneinung” (denial) and “Verleugnung” (refusal).

Why does the feeling of the unreality of the world arise, and how to deal with it?

Causes and symptoms

In the language of experts, a disorder in which the surrounding world suddenly loses its usual shapes, colors and sounds is called derealization.

Derealization is not an independent disease; as a rule, it occurs against the background of other mental problems, often together with depression and neurasthenia. Or a feeling of the unreality of what is happening may also appear in a generally healthy person - as a response to physical and mental overstrain, a stressful situation.

Also among the causes of derealization are somatic (bodily) diseases, alcohol or drug addiction. The person’s personality also plays a role: in people who are impressionable, vulnerable, or with an unstable psyche, the likelihood of a state of derealization occurring is especially high.

In general, as observations show, the most common target for derealization is perfectionists, whose obsession with some task conflicts with the awareness that they will not be able to implement it at the highest possible level. It is not surprising that in psychoanalysis the feeling of unreality is considered as a consequence of intrapersonal conflict and long-term suppression of desires (possibly unconscious).

How exactly does derealization manifest itself?

• Various visual distortions: the entire surrounding reality becomes flat or seen in a mirror image, colors fade, objects lose clear contours.
• Auditory distortion: Sounds seem too soft or too loud, unclear, or coming from far away.
• The perception of space and time changes: it is difficult to separate one day from another, time begins to slow down or, conversely, go too quickly. Familiar places are perceived as unfamiliar, a person cannot understand where to go. This also includes the effects of deja vu and jamevu (“never seen”, when a familiar person or space seems completely unknown).
• Feelings and emotions become dull.
• In severe forms, memory loss occurs.

It is important that in the vast majority of cases, during derealization, critical thinking is preserved: a person understands that the objects in his perception are unreal, unusual, and do not correspond to reality, the ability to control actions, and the awareness of the need to overcome this state remain.

The phenomenon of depersonalization is closely related to derealization. Depersonalization is a violation of self-perception, when a person looks at his actions as if from the outside and cannot control them (in this case we are also talking about maintaining critical thinking, since the person realizes that he does not control himself).

These two conditions often accompany one another, therefore in psychological practice one common term “derealization” is often used to denote a distorted perception of reality (the formulation “derealization-depersonalization syndrome” is also used).

One must distinguish from derealization the denial of reality - one of the mechanisms of psychological defense. When it turns on, a person does not recognize and does not accept facts or events that pose a threat, danger or source of fear to him. This is the main difference between denial and another method of defense - repression, in which information still enters consciousness and is then displaced from there.

Denial is usually the first link in the chain of reactions to very painful information. According to the stories of friends, from cinema or literature, many are probably familiar with the picture: a patient who categorically denies the news of his imminent death. Also, denial of reality acts as a symptom of a mental disorder. It can occur with manic syndrome, schizophrenia and other pathologies.

How to return to the present

States of derealization and depersonalization can last from a few minutes to several years. If symptoms of loss of reality occur, it is necessary to contact a specialist, because only he will be able to determine whether the attack was caused by fatigue and stress or is a sign of a serious mental disorder.

Fortunately, the prognosis for derealization treatment is almost always favorable.

What to do during the attack itself? Firstly, under no circumstances perceive it as the beginning of madness; on the contrary, try to convince yourself that derealization is temporary, and it will certainly be followed by a return to real life.

Secondly, try to normalize your breathing. And finally, psychologists advise focusing on one object and looking at it, but without undue tension.

There is another technique aimed at reducing the feeling of fear that will inevitably arise during derealization: switching attention to something that brings pleasure (for example, eating candy).

This advice is especially relevant for those who have attacks regularly. A reflex will gradually develop that replaces fear with pleasant emotions, which will help cope with panic.

Of course, all these manipulations do not eliminate the need to visit a doctor. Even if the attack of derealization was isolated and short-lived, it is necessary to consult a specialist.

In general, derealization, like all perception disorders, is, of course, much easier to prevent than to treat. What can be done to prevent derealization?

• Establish a clear daily routine, alternate between work and rest, and get enough sleep.
• Do physical exercise.
• Reduce the amount of alcohol and cigarettes, and, if possible, give up medications that affect the psyche.
• Try to concentrate on everyday feelings: distinguish certain colors in the environment, isolate individual sounds, concentrate on any task, even the most insignificant. If derealization is associated with visual distortions, pay special attention to the visual component of the world, if with acoustic distortions, pay special attention to the sound component, and so on.
• Try to reduce the number of stress factors.

The last piece of advice is probably the most difficult to implement, but at the same time the most significant: living in harmony with yourself, doing what you like, not reproaching yourself for mistakes and believing in the best - the most effective methods for maintaining a healthy psyche.

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Denial as a defense mechanism

Denial is a psychological defense mechanism in which a person rejects thoughts, feelings, desires, needs or realities that he cannot accept at a conscious level. In other words, denial is when a person does not want to come to terms with reality. According to statistics, it is believed that almost 90% of deception occurs in this state.

Denial is when a person tries to avoid any new information that is incompatible with the positive self-image that has already been formed. Defense manifests itself in the fact that alarming information is ignored, the person seems to evade it. Information that contradicts personal attitudes is not accepted at all. Often, the defense mechanism of denial is used by people who are very suggestible, and very often prevails in people who are sick with somatic diseases. In such cases, the level of anxiety can be reduced by changing the person's perception of the environment that surrounds him. True, this is a very dangerous situation, since in this case, when any certain aspects of reality are rejected, the patient can begin to quite strongly and categorically resist treatment that is important for life. People whose leading mechanism of psychological defense is denial are quite suggestible, self-hypnosis, they exhibit artistic and artistic abilities, often lack self-criticism, and they also have a very rich imagination. In extreme manifestations of denial, people exhibit demonstrative behavior, and in the case of pathology, hysteria or delirium begins.

Often, the psychological defense mechanism of denial is largely characteristic of children (they think that if they cover their heads with a blanket, then everything around them will cease to exist). Adults very often use the denial mechanism as a defense against crisis situations (an illness that cannot be cured, thoughts of approaching death, or the loss of a loved one).

There are many examples of denial. Most people are afraid of various serious diseases and begin to deny the presence of even the most obvious symptoms of any disease just to avoid seeing a doctor. And the disease begins to progress at this time. Also, this protective mechanism begins to work when one person from a married couple “does not see” or simply denies the problems that exist in married life, and this behavior often leads to a breakdown in relationships and the collapse of the family. People who resort to such a psychological defense mechanism as denial - they simply ignore the painful reality for themselves and behave as if they do not exist. Very often such people believe that they have no problems, since they deny the presence of difficulties in their lives. Often such people have inflated self-esteem.

denial of reality

Dictionary of a practical psychologist. - M.: AST, Harvest. S. Yu. Golovin. 1998.

See what “denial of reality” is in other dictionaries:

DENIAL is a way of a person’s rejection of his unconscious drives, desires, thoughts, feelings, which in fact indicates the presence of a repressed unconscious. In classical psychoanalysis, the patient’s denial of unconscious desires and... ... Encyclopedic Dictionary of Psychology and Pedagogy

REALITY DENIAL - English. reality, negation of; German Realitatsverlust. The defense mechanism of the “I”, manifested in the fact that various phenomena, facts, etc., containing a threat, danger, fear for one or another individual, are denied and not perceived by him.... ... Encyclopedia of Sociology

Denial - A defense mechanism by which a person can deny one aspect of reality. For example, if someone cannot come to terms with the death of a loved one, he still talks to him, sets the table for him. even washes and strokes him... ... Great psychological encyclopedia

Holocaust denial - Part of a series of articles on the Holocaust Ideology and politics Racial anti-Semitism · ... Wikipedia

Denial (psychology) - This term has other meanings, see Denial (meanings). Denial is a mental process related to psychological defense mechanisms. It manifests itself as a refusal to acknowledge the existence of something unwanted. Contents 1 Description ... Wikipedia

Negation is a logical act opposite to affirmation. The purpose of mental activity, knowledge of the truth, is the formation of such affirmative judgments, which would reflect the connection and structure of reality; but achieving this goal is possible only... ... Encyclopedic Dictionary F.A. Brockhaus and I.A. Efron

REALITY DENIAL - English. reality, negation of; German Realitatsverlust. The defense mechanism of the Self, manifested in the fact that various phenomena, facts, etc., containing a threat, danger, fear for one or another individual, are denied and not perceived by him... Explanatory Dictionary of Sociology

REALITY CHECK is a functional human activity associated with the distinction between the processes of perception and thinking, external objects and mental images, reality and fantasy, the external and internal world. When describing this phenomenon in psychoanalytic... ... Encyclopedic Dictionary of Psychology and Pedagogy

WITGENSTEIN - (Wittgenstein) Ludwig () Austrian English. philosopher, Prof. philosophy at the University of Cambridge. Philosophy V.'s views were formed both under the influence of certain phenomena in Austria. early culture 20th century, and as a result of creative... ...Philosophical Encyclopedia

Solipsism - (from Latin solus “only” and Latin ipse “himself”) a radical philosophical position characterized by the recognition of one’s own individual consciousness as the only undoubted reality and the denial ... ... Wikipedia

Denial of reality, mental deception and delusion

The disease of denial of reality

Most people quite often (sometimes throughout their lives) are in a state of delusion, a restless mind deceives them, and this leads to a denial of reality. This is the burden that we acquire as we go through our lives. And the longer we carry these inner demons within us, the heavier our burden and the more difficult it becomes for us to free ourselves from it. Treatment in this case is the generally accepted way. The doctor acts as an outside observer, holding up a mirror of our behavior to us. Meditation turns out to be a less common tool for these purposes. Through meditation, we can learn to act as an outside observer and hold that same mirror in front of us. In doing so, we take an important step in connecting spiritual values ​​and everyday life.

Without a share of conscious attention, we will remain prisoners of the stereotypes previously developed by upbringing. We carry our behavior and ingrained habits through life. As close relationships change, we approach each encounter with a range of predispositions and long-established patterns of behavior. These personal patterns are the most difficult to identify because they are invisibly imprinted on ourselves. Like the bed of a river, our long-held expectations determine the direction of our reactions and perceptions. Being in error, our mind perceives the events of life through a distorting mirror, thus creating false conclusions. If we have low self-esteem, we will constantly feel like we are the target of criticism, and if we are deeply afraid, we will not be able to trust.

When we lack trust, we will try to compensate with false bravado. Self-justification, denial of responsibility, and blaming others all allow us to resort to denial of reality in an attempt to protect ourselves. When our minds become confused, we may deny mistakes large and small, cause and effect, responsibility and involvement. The awakened contemplative mind, however, leaves no room for denial of reality, for in the clear light of day the inner self cannot hide from itself. Denial of reality will be honored everywhere where the status quo prevails. We avoid seeing things as they are and distort the course of events in order to maintain an illusion that is pleasing to our eyes. We scapegoat others to protect ourselves. Although we recognize the truth at a deeply hidden level in the subconscious, we are unable to openly admit our mistakes. Difficult relationships breed self-deception, which leads to unjustified accusations. We run from the truth in order to maintain the image we have created of ourselves. Delusion of mind, deception and denial of reality are common coin in everyday life and everyday relationships. When we are ready to accept the light of awareness of the world around us, we are ready to find ourselves.

Be aware and open

The way we view the world and our place in it shapes our habits, aspirations and behavior. A narrow view gives rise to narrow perception. Looking at the world through the prism of limited ideas reduces everything around to the same extent. A narrow worldview creates a narrowed world. Every new opportunity to expand these boundaries is discarded, ignored, or simply distorted. New experience must be adjusted to the existing internal model of the world. If we try to fit everything new into our existing preconceptions, we constantly narrow our life experience. If we fail to notice the fluidity of life itself and understand it, then the very bridges that connect us turn out to be dismantled. On the other hand, if we manage to be open, we will grow and mature. If we try to build relationships through openness, we begin to see things as they are in themselves, and not as products of our own prejudices. We are able to create the conditions under which internal change can occur. Our self-preservation mechanisms are so subtle that we do not notice their work until we make the proper effort to observe them.

Meditation allows us to develop an observing consciousness, to create an observer within ourselves. Buddhism names six primary misconceptions and twenty secondary ones. They call us to introspection. The path to the Western Mysteries usually opens with the call to “Know Thyself.” If you are ready to find yourself, then you are seriously ready to begin meditation. And do not be confused by the fact that your search will undoubtedly take a purely external form, the journey itself actually takes place within. Perhaps the time has come for a new call, because the road to yourself can be opened in a wide variety of ways. The expression “I am who I am” can serve as a new starting point because you don’t really need to go on a journey of self-discovery, but simply open your eyes to who you are. This new call does not negate change or growth, it only affirms that you are able to absorb everything to understand who you are in each moment. Try meditating on these words and see if they bring you insight into yourself.

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This is not the case! Denial of denial

Denial as a psychological defense

In psychology there are such concepts as defense and coping strategies (coping behavior). Very useful things in the life of every citizen. And very dangerous if used incorrectly!

One of the simplest and most powerful is denial.

Denial can be included as an independent defense. Very often it is part of other, more complex psychological defenses.

Denial often works automatically, unconsciously. But sometimes, on the contrary, it is a conscious choice of the type of behavior, and it is more about a coping strategy.

Denial is also used as an aggressive tool in manipulative techniques.

Denial as a psychological defense works as follows: a certain part of reality is simply ignored.

This is a very energy-intensive process for humans, and, as a rule, ineffective or completely destructive.

The concept of psychological defense was introduced into psychology by Sigmund Freud. Anna Freud offered a detailed typology and more detailed elaboration. Then many scientists and practitioners worked with this topic in one way or another.

Denial is believed to be one of the earliest psychological defense mechanisms. It is formed when the human cub is still small and helpless, and its ways of influencing the world are extremely limited.

“This” is NOT! – negation formula.

When is denial justified as a defense mechanism?

1. A person protects himself from pain, fear, horror, and losses by denying facts that have already happened. In the short term, this is an excellent adaptation mechanism. It allows you to act in the outside world “despite...”, and in the meantime, the deeper layers of the psyche have time to assimilate new information about the changed living conditions.

Very often the first reaction to the news of the sudden death of a loved one is shock, and then “NO! THIS CAN’T BE HAPPENING!”

Refusal to accept a terrible fact allows you to take actions necessary for the survivors: complete work, place the children for a while, take care of the burial, call friends, family and loved ones, ask for help, get to the place in the end, and so on.

During natural disasters or military operations, part of reality is also not allowed into consciousness. A person needs to save and preserve life, and all resources go exclusively to this.

And only when the external environment and internal state allow this, a person seems to let himself go, and all the horror of what happened falls on him. And then comes the time of suffering, restoration and acceptance of a new reality.

2. Denial also serves to preserve personality and sanity in the event of a serious incurable illness. Having taken the necessary measures (medication, hospitalization, etc.), a person most of the time lives in the “it’s not there” mode. Very often, such a solution is one of the best. Not every person has the inner strength to face such a reality face to face.

Here the psychological defense in the form of denial of reality is only partly unconscious. When conditions change (new treatment methods, or, conversely, death approaches), denial is discarded.

3. The third option, it would be more correct to refer to coping behavior, since it is used for the most part consciously.

I remember Scarlett O’Hara saying: “I won’t think about it today, I’ll think about it tomorrow,” and went to bed in the old, unchanged reality, so that the next morning, with fresh strength, she could begin to cope with the “news” that had fallen on her.

Sometimes consciously making the decision “I won’t think about this now, I’ll deal with this issue then” can be quite effective. Provided that either circumstances change and the need for a solution disappears, or at the appointed time (or under prescribed conditions) the person accepts the fact that there is a problem and solves it.

An excellent example here is the parable of a “good worker” who does a third of his boss’s orders immediately, a third does them after the first reminder, and a third “hangs them on a nail” - “they don’t exist.”

When, how and why denial of reality harms a person

I think many can remember their feelings in this situation:

You are enthusiastically watching an interesting film (passing level 43, killing the penultimate monster; reading a book at the point when the main character reached out with his lips to the lips of the main character; deeply focused on your thoughts; enthusiastically cheering for your favorite team, without taking your eyes off the TV... ) and then someone abruptly, rudely interrupts you, plunging you into everyday reality.

As a rule, a person will experience active irritation, dissatisfaction, and anger.

The reason for this is the unexpected transition from the state of “waking sleep” to the mode of conscious wakefulness, and the collapsed flow of information, and the need to somehow react to all this.

Perhaps someone will remember situations when they denied him. Didn't hear, didn't see...

Now imagine that a person has been living for years (!) in a world where part of reality is distorted. That is, part of his world and part of his psyche is blocked, frozen.

To maintain such an illusion sewn into the real picture of the world, a huge amount of psychic energy is needed. Accordingly, there is simply nothing left for anything else.

A woman in her fifties lost one of her three children... Several years later (!) she continued to maintain the same order in his room as he had, and talked only about him. At the same time, she practically did not notice the other two children. She, like an insect in amber, almost froze at the moment when the terrible misfortune happened. Work, family, two other children, grandchildren, her health, friends, home and dacha... she saw none of this, continuing to remain in the stop world.

Just roughly estimate how much strength it takes to NOT notice the constant manifestations of those who were actually close to her.

Part of the harm of denial is the enormous expenditure of vital energy on maintaining the false belief “it doesn’t exist.”

Another part of the harm from denial, often many years, is explained by purely material reasons. Since part of reality is ignored, the disorder in it grows very, very much. What was once created and valued is destroyed, skills and abilities are lost. And when, one unexpected day, a person awakens from denial, among other things, he receives not just a problem, but a gorgeous, expanded, high-quality problem. That is, his strength has become less, and the problem is much greater. And the need to solve it is more acute!

At thirty-two, Tatyana wondered: I’m not an alcoholic, am I? I drink only in decent company, always for a reason, I drink good drinks... She was frightened by the thought that she drinks alone a couple of times a week. True, quality booze is still expensive.

Several times she decided to pause... BUT! Have you seen our calendar? Then you understand that the number of Holidays that are celebrated with alcohol as a “holy cause” each time turned out to be too great for Tatyana.

And she just stopped thinking about it.

At thirty-eight, she was forced to seek treatment after losing her job due to her addiction.

Elena raised her daughter, constantly struggling with her husband’s infidelities and drunkenness. She suffered beatings from time to time. She was sure that he loved her. In his own way... That he appreciates her sacrificial love. Besides, she was too scared to think about living on her own. Without work experience, with a small daughter in her arms...

Twelve years later, she had to face a difficult reality: a woman in her forties, with no work experience and with two children, had to learn to live and survive, since her husband considered her a “twitchy old hysteric” and left for another family.

It is very painful and bitter to regret the years of “waking dreams”, the time of denial, the time of lost strength and opportunities.

And it’s good that someone manages to wake up when something can still be changed for the better.

Now, please pay attention to this interesting fact: as a rule, in a sect, no matter a religious or business sect, there is an active introduction to the adherents (followers) of the thought “don’t communicate with such and such.”

Part of reality is artificially distorted. People are persuaded to believe that “it doesn’t exist.” “This” usually includes people who think differently. Expressing skepticism, doubts about the adequacy and correctness of the chosen line of behavior.

Regardless of everything else (teachings, group orientation, etc.), the very habit of ignoring part of living life is harmful and dangerous.

How often do we deny reality over little things?

I suggest you conduct an interesting and instructive experiment. Observe the people around you and count how many times you hear similar dialogues:

He yelled at me!

Yes? And I still have five reports to do!

Never mind! (Wave your hand, etc.)

He yelled at me!

Oh, my, my! And last week... (text for about ten minutes).

He yelled at me!

What's your answer? She said nothing?! It’s because you allow yourself to be treated this way... (free text again).

Instead of the first phrase, there can be any other one. The point is that in all these dialogues the second interlocutor tells the first “you are not there”, your reality does not exist. He denies. By communicating with children in this way, we, unnoticed by ourselves, teach them to live in a world where denial is the norm...

After completing your observations, try this conversation pattern.

He yelled at me!

In this case, the second interlocutor sees the first one and helps him cope with unpleasant events, naming his feelings and showing that he is nearby.

There is no need to “jump” into reality if there is a problem with a good period of long-term denial.

There is no need to continue to waste your life maintaining the illusion of “there is no problem.”

To begin with, you can explore the problem area in a detached, rational way. Understand the problem, evaluate your strengths, and figure out how best to tackle it.

Then, gather your strength, “shake off the dust” from the resources previously set aside as unnecessary and slowly, like a responsible snail, I Smile, step by step, begin to deal with the difficulties that have accumulated during the “waking dream” - the denial of part of reality.

Please choose a problem that worries you, but which for some reason you don’t want to think about. Or a problem that some people, friends, relatives tell you about. And you think that you don’t have it.

• Write it down.
• Now write 10 objective facts that are directly related to this problem. Even if thinking about them is unpleasant and uncomfortable for you.
• Re-read them carefully and clarify whether these are really facts? Or maybe these are your beliefs, ideas. Please correct and add to your list.
• Now draw conclusions from these facts that will help you solve your problem.
• Now please write down how you feel.
• And what else prevents the solution of the problem.

The last paragraph may also contain a note about what is already clear, how and what to do now. Then steps towards implementation should follow almost immediately (taking into account real circumstances).

CUSTOMER REVIEWS:

• • THIS IS A DESCRIPTION OF THE CHARACTER OF AN “UNHAPPY” PERSON

  His 2 main problems: 1) chronic unsatisfaction of needs, 2) the inability to direct his anger outward, restraining it, and with it restraining all warm feelings, make him more and more desperate every year: no matter what he does, it’s better not On the contrary, it only gets worse. The reason is that he does a lot, but not that much. If nothing is done, then, over time, either the person will “burn out at work,” loading himself more and more until he is completely exhausted; or his own self will be emptied and impoverished, unbearable self-hatred will appear, a refusal to take care of oneself, and, in the long term, even self-hygiene. A person becomes like a house from which the bailiffs have removed the furniture. Against the background of hopelessness, despair and exhaustion, there is no strength , energy even for thinking. Complete loss of the ability to love. He wants to live, but begins to die: sleep, metabolism are disturbed... It is difficult to understand what he lacks precisely because we are not talking about deprivation of possession of someone or something.

  On the contrary, he has the possession of deprivation, and he is not able to understand what he is deprived of. His own self turns out to be lost. He feels unbearably painful and empty: and he cannot even put it into words. This is neurotic depression. Everything can be prevented and not brought to such a result. If you recognize yourself in the description and want to change something, you urgently need to learn two things: 1. Learn the following text by heart and repeat it all the time until you learn to use the results of these new beliefs:

  • I have a right to needs. I am, and I am I.
  • I have the right to need and satisfy needs.
  • I have the right to ask for satisfaction, the right to achieve what I need.
  • I have the right to crave love and love others.
  • I have the right to a decent organization of life.
  • I have the right to express dissatisfaction.
  • I have the right to regret and sympathy.
  • ...by right of birth.
  • I may get rejected. I may be alone.
  • I'll take care of myself anyway.

  I would like to draw the attention of my readers to the fact that the task of “learning a text” is not an end in itself. Autotraining by itself will not give any lasting results. It is important to live, feel, and find confirmation of it in life. It is important that a person wants to believe that the world can be arranged somehow differently, and not just the way he is used to imagining it. That how he lives this life depends on himself, on his ideas about the world and about himself in this world. And these phrases are just a reason for thought, reflection and search for your own, new “truths”.

  2. Learn to direct aggression towards the person to whom it is actually addressed.

  ...then it will be possible to experience and express warm feelings to people. Realize that anger is not destructive and can be expressed.

  DO YOU WANT TO FIND OUT WHAT A PERSON MISSS TO BECOME HAPPY?

  YOU CAN SIGN UP FOR A CONSULTATION USING THIS LINK:

  BEHIND EVERY “NEGATIVE EMOTION” LIES A NEED OR DESIRE, THE SATISFACTION OF WHICH IS THE KEY TO CHANGES IN LIFE...

  TO SEARCH FOR THESE TREASURES, I INVITE YOU TO MY CONSULTATION:

  YOU CAN SIGN UP FOR A CONSULTATION USING THIS LINK:

  Psychosomatic diseases (this will be more correct) are those disorders in our body that are based on psychological reasons. Psychological reasons are our reactions to traumatic (difficult) life events, our thoughts, feelings, emotions that do not find timely, correct specific person's expression.

  Mental defenses are triggered, we forget about this event after a while, and sometimes instantly, but the body and the unconscious part of the psyche remember everything and send us signals in the form of disorders and diseases

  Sometimes the call may be to respond to some events from the past, to bring “buried” feelings out, or the symptom simply symbolizes what we forbid ourselves.

  YOU CAN SIGN UP FOR A CONSULTATION USING THIS LINK:

  The negative impact of stress on the human body, and especially distress, is colossal. Stress and the likelihood of developing diseases are closely related. Suffice it to say that stress can reduce immunity by approximately 70%. Obviously, such a decrease in immunity can result in anything. And it’s also good if it’s just colds, but what if it’s cancer or asthma, the treatment of which is already extremely difficult?

  brekhoff

  Construction is simple and intuitive, but building is hard!

  “And when you wrote your post about tomorrow’s rain, did you think that now your wife and children will get wet, catch a cold and die? And you will be to blame, you heartless bastard!”

  “I understand that this bastard hopes to sit out in a warm house, and dooms us all to countless torments in the rain! I hate it, burn in hell, you bastard!”

  “But in America it doesn’t rain! And if it does, it’s only democratic, but you, stupid bastard, can’t understand this, because you’re completely saturated with imperial propaganda and a schizophrenic!”

  “But under Stalin, this kind of crap didn’t happen! We need to hang all the oligarchs, and we’ll live without rain!”

  In any, even the strongest family, relationship crises or situations can occur.

  In any, even the strongest family, relationship crises or a situation leading to divorce can occur. After all, life consists not only of holidays, but also of everyday worries and difficulties.

  10 reasons that can destroy a marriage

  And your family happiness depends on how you can cope with minor troubles and problems every day. People do not become strangers in an instant, a strong family does not crack instantly. This needs to be achieved within a certain period of time. Minor quarrels and scandals, insults, indifference, disparate views gradually, often completely imperceptibly, lead to coldness and rupture. Once lovebirds become completely strangers and unnecessary people to each other. To avoid such a situation, work proactively, study possible problems and do not allow them into your family. And if you are already on the verge of breaking up, reconsider your mistakes and, perhaps, try to correct the situation.

  Psychologists identify ten main reasons that can lead any marriage to a dead end.

  1. Reality denial syndrome. This term implies the desire of one of the partners to remake or re-educate the character of the other. The fact is that in a state of love, people tend to somewhat exaggerate the merits of their chosen one and not notice the shortcomings, even obvious ones. And after some time, they suddenly realize that their object of adoration is not so white and fluffy. And then panic and disappointment sets in at the same time. The first thing that comes to mind is that you need to adjust your partner to your ideal. And education and continuous demands begin!?

  Now, stop for a moment and come to reality! The only person you can change is yourself. If you clearly understand this truth, your life will be much easier. Better, work on yourself and your ally will catch up with you. Learn to love your spouse for who they are. Accept all their real strengths and weaknesses. There are no perfect people. Treat it like an interesting game. After all, if we all had only positive qualities, we would die of boredom and predictability. If you clearly understand that you cannot put up with some of your partner’s shortcomings under any circumstances, then most likely you cannot avoid a relationship crisis.

  2. Wrong distribution of roles in the family. Before marriage, each of the spouses had a parental family with a certain distribution of responsibilities and roles in the family. Well, if these models coincide, the issue is resolved by itself. But if they are fundamentally different, problems cannot be avoided. Spouses will constantly make claims against each other: who should provide for the family budget, who is involved in certain household matters, everyone’s participation in raising children, and so on.

  To solve this problem, you need to come to the negotiating table. Forget about your previous experience and establish your new family charter, distribute roles and responsibilities together, agreeing on all points.

  3. Total control. This problem has the root of evil in banal egoism. Unhealthy control of a partner’s personal space gives rise to rejection of what is controlled. And the controller himself gets even more excited with the resistance of the other.

  Build relationships only on trust and love, without this you will never achieve happiness.

  4. Financial problems. A constant lack of money and uncertainty about the future will never be on the side of strong relationships. Heaven with a sweetheart and in a hut is an unjustified and outdated myth that is quickly shattered in everyday life.

  5. Lack of self-confidence. If you constantly doubt, ask for advice on any trifle, cannot solve even the simplest problems on your own, this will make you tired very quickly. This behavior may seem cute at first, but over time it will become very annoying.

  Any person should be self-sufficient and integral. Only then will it be interesting for many years to come.

  6. Work troubles. Never transfer the difficulties and troubles associated with work to your loved ones.

  7. Problems in intimate relationships. This fact cannot be ignored, otherwise you cannot avoid cooling. Men worry about this more acutely. Try to maintain interest in each other, bring spice and experimentation into your personal life.

  8. Birth of a child. Pregnancy and the birth of a baby completely change the foundations and rhythm of family life. Often, in worries and troubles, spouses push each other into the background and gradually move away. Understand that a child does not take someone’s place, but only changes your status. Be attentive and patient, do everything together.

  9. The fact of betrayal. If one of the spouses decides to do this, then their relationship is a complete disaster. As a rule, those who cheat are not looking for momentary carnal pleasure, but understanding, warmth, and pity.

  There are two options for the development of events: either you forgive once and for all, without constantly causing the screwed-up person to feel guilty and build the relationship anew, or leave.

  10. Influence of other people. It’s bad if a young family lives with their parents; intervention in this case cannot be avoided. Sometimes it can be friends, colleagues, neighbors, or anyone.

  Your family is your fort and fortress, do not let anyone interfere and impose your stereotypes and opinions. Nip any attempts at influence in the bud immediately, otherwise you may suffer serious harm.

  Negation

  This is an important characteristic of both addiction and codependency. Therefore, I want to dwell on it in more detail. Denial is the ability to ignore, to deny what is happening. The ability to not believe your eyes. Denial manifests itself in the fact that codependents do not see their problems. “I don’t have problems, my husband has problems, treat him, but I don’t need help.” Denial contributes to prolonged stay in illusions. “My husband drinks, but today he might be sober.” Family members do not notice that their lives have become unmanageable and that they cannot feel normal, cannot cope with the responsibilities of a mother and wife, that they have lost part of their professional performance. Denial prevents you from understanding your codependency.

  Denial is both our friend and our enemy. The friendly side of it is that it gives us the opportunity to gather strength until we are ready to accept too painful a reality. Denial helps us survive in unbearably difficult circumstances. This is a gentle way of interacting with a traumatic situation. Maybe being under the protective umbrella of denial buys us time. After some time, we will be ready to accept the harsh reality.

  When our thinking is controlled by denial, then one part of our personality knows the truth, the other whispers a distortion, an understatement of the truth, clouding our consciousness.

  The unfriendly side of denial is that it prevents us from seeing problems clearly, it takes us away from actions that could stop the pain, and we spend too much energy on fantasies instead of actually taking care of ourselves. Denial allows us to distort our true feelings - dull them, twist them. We lose touch with ourselves. We continue to remain in an unbearably painful situation and think that this is normal. Denial makes us blind to our feelings, our own needs, and our personality as a whole.

  I am not advocating being harsh and harsh with yourself. I am not asking you to throw off denial at one moment and “see the light.” Denial is like a warm blanket, protection from the cold, safety during the cold. We cannot throw it off instantly in the cold, but we can start to remove the blanket in the room if the cold is replaced by warmth. My point is that in safe circumstances, with support, with the help of a therapy group, when we are ready to face reality, we will throw off the blanket that has protected us.

  You can ask God to give you the courage to start changing your life, change it towards recovery from codependency. During the recovery process, we may resort to the services of denial more than once or twice. Each time, under the pressure of a cold wind, we can allow ourselves to wrap ourselves in a warm blanket again. Then we will drop the denial when we provide ourselves with warmth and safety. This is a normal healing process. But we will see reality more and more clearly.

  It would be good to learn to recognize your denial. Signs may be: confusion in feelings, sluggishness of energy or rapid escape from reality, too strong a desire to immediately do something and end everything that causes pain, obsessive thoughts about the same thing, rejection of help and support. If you stay too long with people who mistreat you, the denial will inevitably come back to you. You can wish well to others and at the same time free yourself from their influence. You must strive to surround yourself with warm people. Then we won't need to wrap ourselves in a blanket of denial.

  The alternative to denial is awareness of reality and acceptance (acceptance) of it. Self-care and self-compassion, along with compassion for others, helps to achieve awareness and acceptance.

  Stages of accepting the inevitable

  Illness, loss, and grief happen in every person’s life. A person must accept all this, there is no other way out. “Acceptance” from a psychological point of view means an adequate vision and perception of the situation. Acceptance of a situation is very often accompanied by fear of the inevitable.

  American doctor Elisabeth Kübler-Ross created the concept of psychological assistance to dying people. She researched the experiences of terminally ill people and wrote a book: “On Death and Dying.” In this book, Kübler-Ross describes the stages of accepting death:

  She observed the reaction of patients at an American clinic after doctors told them about a terrible diagnosis and imminent death.

  All 5 stages of psychological distress are experienced not only by sick people themselves, but also by relatives who have learned about a terrible illness or about the imminent death of their loved one. Bereavement syndrome or the feeling of grief, the strong emotions that are experienced as a result of the loss of a person, are familiar to everyone. The loss of a loved one can be temporary, due to separation, or permanent (death). Throughout our lives, we become attached to our parents and close relatives, who provide us with care and attention. After the loss of close relatives, a person feels destitute, as if a part of him was “cut off”, and experiences a feeling of grief.

  Negation

  The first stage of accepting the inevitable is denial.

  At this stage, the patient believes that some kind of mistake has occurred; he cannot believe that this is really happening to him, that this is not a bad dream. The patient begins to doubt the professionalism of the doctor, the correct diagnosis and the results of the research. In the first stage of “accepting the inevitable,” patients begin to go to larger clinics for consultations, visit doctors, mediums, professors and doctors of science, and whispering grandmothers. In the first stage, the sick person experiences not only denial of the terrible diagnosis, but also fear, which for some may continue until death.

  The brain of a sick person refuses to perceive information about the inevitability of the end of life. In the first stage of “accepting the inevitable,” cancer patients begin to be treated with traditional medicine and refuse traditional radiation and chemotherapy.

  The second stage of accepting the inevitable is expressed in the form of the patient’s anger. Usually at this stage a person asks the question “Why me?” “Why did I get this terrible disease?” and begins to blame everyone, from doctors to himself. The patient understands that he is seriously ill, but it seems to him that the doctors and all medical staff are not attentive enough to him, do not listen to his complaints, and do not want to treat him anymore. Anger can manifest itself in the fact that some patients begin to write complaints against doctors, go to authorities or threaten them.

  In this stage of “accepting the inevitable,” the sick person begins to get irritated by young and healthy people. The patient does not understand why everyone around him smiles and laughs, life goes on, and it has not stopped for a moment because of his illness. Anger can be experienced deep inside, or at some point it can “pouring out” onto others. Manifestations of anger usually occur at that stage of the disease when the patient feels well and has strength. Very often, the anger of a sick person is directed at psychologically weak people who cannot say anything in response.

  The third stage of a sick person’s psychological reaction to imminent death is bargaining. Sick people try to make a deal or bargain with fate or with God. They begin to make wishes, they have their own “signs”. Patients at this stage of the disease can make a wish: “If the coin now lands heads down, then I will recover.” At this stage of “acceptance”, patients begin to perform various good deeds, almost engage in charity. It seems to them that God or fate will see how kind and good they are and “change their mind” and give them long life and health.

  At this stage, a person overestimates his capabilities and tries to fix everything. Bargaining or bargaining can manifest itself in the fact that a sick person is ready to pay all his money to save his life. In the bargaining stage, the patient’s strength gradually begins to weaken, the disease steadily progresses and every day he becomes worse and worse. At this stage of the disease, a lot depends on the relatives of the sick person, because he gradually loses strength. The stage of bargaining with fate can also be traced to the relatives of a sick person, who still have hope for the recovery of their loved one and they make every effort to achieve this, pay bribes to doctors, and begin to go to church.

  Depression

  In the fourth stage, severe depression occurs. At this stage, a person is usually tired of the struggle for life and health, and every day he becomes worse and worse. The patient loses hope for recovery, he “gives up”, there is a sharp decline in mood, apathy and indifference to the life around him. A person at this stage is immersed in his inner experiences, he does not communicate with people, and can lie in one position for hours. Depression may cause a person to have suicidal thoughts and suicide attempts.

  Adoption

  The fifth stage is called acceptance or humility. In the 5th stage of “accepting the inevitable”, the disease has already practically eaten the person; it has exhausted him physically and mentally. The patient moves little and spends more time in his bed. In stage 5, a seriously ill person, as it were, sums up his entire life, understands that there was a lot of good in it, he managed to do something for himself and others, fulfilled his role on this Earth. “I didn’t live this life in vain. I managed to do a lot. Now I can die in peace."

  Many psychologists have studied the model of “5 stages of accepting death” by Elisabeth Kübler-Ross and came to the conclusion that the American woman’s research was rather subjective in nature, not all sick people go through all 5 stages, and for some, their order may be disrupted or absent altogether.

  The stages of acceptance show us that this is not the only way to accept death, but also everything inevitable in our lives. At a certain moment, our psyche turns on a certain defense mechanism, and we cannot adequately perceive objective reality. We unconsciously distort reality, making it convenient for our ego. The behavior of many people in severe stressful situations is similar to the behavior of an ostrich that hides its head in the sand. Acceptance of objective reality can qualitatively influence the adoption of adequate decisions.

  From the point of view of the Orthodox religion, a person must humbly perceive all situations in life, that is, the staged acceptance of death is characteristic of non-believers. People who believe in God have a psychologically easier time with the process of dying.

Negation.

Denial is a psychological defense mechanism in which a person rejects thoughts, feelings, desires, needs or realities that he cannot accept at a conscious level. In other words, denial is when a person does not want to come to terms with reality. According to statistics, it is believed that almost 90% of deception occurs in this state.

Denial is when a person tries to avoid any new information that is incompatible with the positive self-image that has already been formed. Defense manifests itself in the fact that alarming information is ignored, the person seems to evade it. Information that contradicts personal attitudes is not accepted at all. Often, the defense mechanism of denial is used by people who are very suggestible, and very often prevails in people who are sick with somatic diseases. In such cases, the level of anxiety can be reduced by changing the person's perception of the environment that surrounds him. True, this is a very dangerous situation, since in this case, when any certain aspects of reality are rejected, the patient can begin to quite strongly and categorically resist treatment that is important for life. People whose leading mechanism of psychological defense is denial are quite suggestible, self-hypnosis, they exhibit artistic and artistic abilities, often lack self-criticism, and they also have a very rich imagination. In extreme manifestations of denial, people exhibit demonstrative behavior, and in the case of pathology, hysteria or delirium begins.

Often, the psychological defense mechanism of denial is largely characteristic of children (they think that if they cover their heads with a blanket, then everything around them will cease to exist). Adults very often use the denial mechanism as a defense against crisis situations (an illness that cannot be cured, thoughts of approaching death, or the loss of a loved one).

There are many examples of denial. Most people are afraid of various serious diseases and begin to deny the presence of even the most obvious symptoms of any disease just to avoid seeing a doctor. And the disease begins to progress at this time. Also, this protective mechanism begins to work when one person from a married couple “does not see” or simply denies the problems that exist in married life, and this behavior often leads to a breakdown in relationships and the collapse of the family. People who resort to such a psychological defense mechanism as denial - they simply ignore the painful reality for themselves and behave as if they do not exist. Very often such people believe that they have no problems, since they deny the presence of difficulties in their lives. Often such people have inflated self-esteem.

The law of denial or struggle is much better to know than not to know. Its mechanism is as follows. First, a traumatic event occurs that we cannot cope with psychologically - denial arises: this should not happen (either in general or to me) - an idea is formulated as to why this happens and how it really should be - the psyche is mobilized to protect itself from the possible repetition of the situation, the memory stores fear and pain that could not be lived and let go -> an accentuated perception of life arises through the prism of this problem: a person begins to look for similar painful situations, unconsciously provoke them and see them where they are not - an increase in mental tension occurs, negative emotions, a person begins to see more and more of this or that around him, with which or whom he needs to fight in his opinion - the person himself, without realizing it and having many self-justifying concepts, gradually becomes what he denied at the very beginning, i.e. exhibits in relation to others the quality or behavior from which he initially suffered. Thus, gradually a very deep immersion in suffering occurs, although the goal was precisely to avoid it.

Now a couple of clear examples of denial. The first one is widely known. Hitler was an intelligent, very logical, talented and active person. What logical sequence of thoughts led him to such shocking consequences? In his book “My Struggle” he writes that since childhood he loved the Germans very much and wanted Austria and Germany to be united, so as not to for some reason divide one nation. And at the same time, he was surprised by those who opposed the Jews, because... in his opinion, German Jews were distinguished from Germans only by religion, and discrimination on the basis of faith seemed ignorant to him. As he grew up and began to take an interest in politics, he noticed that people in power did not look after the interests of the German people and advocated an increasing separation of Austria from Germany, while for some reason they were all Jews. At that time, the Social Democratic Party was just beginning to gain strength, which, under loud slogans, promising paradise to the people, strengthened its power and influence by the most dishonest methods. The Social Democratic leadership also consisted of Jews. Hitler repeatedly entered into discussions and polemics with activists from this party. He tried to logically explain to them that their actions would not lead to the prosperity of the German people, as they postulated, but quite the opposite. Seeing that most of them pretended to be fools when pushed against the wall with their arguments, he suspected a conspiracy against his beloved Germans and began studying the Jewish question. Having become acquainted with the idea of ​​​​God's chosen people, who were always persecuted everywhere, but who would ultimately be at the head, because God chose them for this, Hitler thought: " Let’s say they are truly God’s chosen nation, and even everything will be as they say, but I am still ready to fight for the Germans to the end."And he postulated the purity of the German nation and began to make full use of all the techniques of the Social Democrats: loud promises, shameless slander against opponents, assertion of his own power through intimidation, etc. We all know how he succeeded on this path. The Germans are still His love will be remembered for a long time.

Now let's give another example, which is often found in everyday life. A person has love, relationships. Suddenly his partner cheats on him and/or leaves him. There is pain and a typical search for those to blame. The reason for the situation that has arisen is formulated: something is wrong with the partner (then anger at “such” people) or something is wrong in me (guilt and the need to change myself). In the first case, a person becomes more uncompromising and demanding in a partnership; in the second, he begins to enter into a relationship, playing some role. In any case, by protecting himself from possible pain, he makes it impossible to achieve truly close and open relationships. Those who follow the first path, by demanding a partner, end up either in loneliness (often under the slogan of spiritual development and rejection of meaningless material attachments) or in religious marriage, where relationships are completely subject to norms and rules. Those who go second often become seducers who break hearts (they choose a spectacular, attractive image for themselves, but because of its inconsistency with the truth, they cannot go deep into relationships, so they often change partners). According to current laws, such a “righteous man” and a “seducer” have many chances to fall in love with each other with an extraordinary and exhausting love (see the article Love). They have the same denial of pain and failure in relationships, and at the same time polar paths that can neutralize each other. The “Righteous” will be forced to reconsider the requirements for a partner, and the “seducer” will be forced to reconsider his role in the relationship.

Despite the different options for the development of events in denial, it is typical for all cases that the desired is not achieved, and the person himself becomes similar to what he struggled with. And the greater the value for which he fought, the more terrifying the consequences. That is, it is much more dangerous to be afraid and fight for your people than for yourself and your family. Thus, if you are afraid for humanity and are fighting for it to stop its self-destructive activities, at some point you may want it to finish itself off somehow and maybe even think about how to help it suffer.

What mistakes are made when denying?

1. Shifting the emphasis from love to hatred: from love for Germans to hatred of Jews, from love for oneself and a partner to rejection of some qualities (one’s own or a partner’s), from love for people to hatred of their unconscious behavior, etc. As a result, only hatred remains in the mind.
2. A reason is formulated that prevents the desired from being achieved. This very formulation narrows perception and consciousness, forcing us to see all the diversity of life from one angle. There is no single cause for any event. The ability to see multifactorial and multicausality in life helps to realize the absence of culprits and the practical impossibility of implementing the policy of punishing them.
3. Fighting for and defending something emphasizes and reinforces its separation from everything else. Using the example of an organism: if a cell fights with the organism, it is obvious that this is not favorable for it. Let’s say that for some reason she feels uncomfortable in this body, but she can only solve this problem by seeking harmony with the whole, otherwise she will only aggravate her problems.

So, the path of denial, so simple and well-established, is characterized by increased negative emotions, a feeling of separation and a narrowing of perception. So what should we do when dealing with painful and traumatic events in our lives? What should you do to cope with pain and fear? So that these painful events themselves will help us ultimately find our happiness?

1. Focus on the feeling of love (for the Germans, for the pleasant qualities in our partner and in ourselves, for the world, etc.) Everything is not easy here. The very fact that you love something or someone makes it possible for them to hurt you. Sometimes the situation is so unbearable that a person completely renounces the feeling of love so that no one else can hurt him. This is a dangerous path, although it brings relief at first. All maniacs, murderers and serious perverts are people who have gone far in their denial and abandoned love. You should respond to severe pain by increasing the feeling of love. It is difficult, but it is this road that leads to expansion of consciousness, to increased happiness and the ability to cope with pain and fear. A person who narrows his consciousness with denial not only becomes the source of his own and others’ suffering, but also turns out to be unable to experience or endure the feeling of happiness, even if all his desires are fulfilled.
2. Realize the multi-causality of what happened and the innocence of the “culprits”. The very power of suffering depends largely on the narrowness of perception (" How could they do this to me? For what? What kind of people are these?"). If we realize our I-centered position and understand that everyone sees through the prism of Their Pain and Their Joy, it will become easier for us, because we will see the relativity of both their and our vision.
3. Do not separate internally from the one or those who caused the pain. Understand that Germans live among other nationalities, unpleasant qualities together with pleasant ones make up the unity of the human psyche, awareness does not appear without pain and suffering, otherwise why would it be needed at all if there is complete happiness. The less internal rejection we feel, the easier it is for us to find a solution and deal with the real situation.

So, we all need to listen to ourselves and realize what we are struggling with. And if we manage to stop the internal war, then where can the external one come from?