Comic predictions for the future for children. Wedding predictions for guests: funny and cheerful ideas. Recipe for “Chinese” fortune cookies for comic fortune telling

Voicing such predictions serves different purposes. Often people get psychologically tired from reading boring, strict predictions designed for a month or a year. They strive to defuse the situation, that is, to get acquainted with more funny, but instructive information. In this case, ordinary predictions tend to turn into a comic form, that is, information can be provided with humor, in the form of a cartoon, or real black humor. Getting acquainted with the contents of funny predictions, you can laugh heartily and take into account several warnings that will help prevent problems in the near future. Reading comic predictions makes it possible to perceive harsh reality with ease, thanks to which a person learns to look at life much easier. Each of us chooses for himself whether to believe such predictions or to abstain. Although sometimes it is useful to take into account such warnings.

Who uses funny predictions

Comic predictions tend to not always have a strict background. They often just help lift your spirits. A person armed with them quickly turns into the life of the party and an enviable jokester. It is customary to use them in the office, at the workplace, at a party, and in any other place, but they should always be appropriate. Such predictions should not be regarded as serious things, as they are considered a form of entertainment. True, there are known cases of funny predictions, invented to amuse, come true. Funny predictions are often used at holidays - birthdays, anniversaries, corporate and home celebrations.

What events are most suitable for announcing comic predictions?

Funny and instructive predictions were born at weddings, the guests of which dress up as gypsies on the second day. In order to raise the festive spirit of passers-by, the gypsy predicts the future of the bride and groom in a humorous manner. Funny predictions eventually began to be used on other holidays. A prediction made to the hero of the day, which mixes humor with wishes of happiness, ignites a sense of fun, makes the guests laugh and pleases the hero of the occasion. Cool predictions are used at children's parties. In their form they correspond to children's themes.

Funny comic predictions in verses in one line

New Year Wishes

Anton Smekhov

Reading time: 8 minutes

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If you want to add some variety to your New Year's celebration, make sure you have some entertainment. An excellent option is comic predictions for the New Year 2020. Funny New Year's prophecies will appeal to family and friends. This game is also suitable for corporate events. I advise you to choose positive and kind options so that no one is offended. In the article you will find the Metal Rat's comic forecasts about the future, which are appropriate in different companies.

List of comic predictions

Health

The selection begins with health predictions for 2020. Of course, they have a humorous slant, but some can be taken into account.

“You won’t get sick in winter if you don’t forget to wear a warm scarf!”
“Everything will be ok with your health if you gather friends more often!”
“If you harden yourself, you won’t go to the doctor!”
“You will strengthen your health in the New Year, and you will conquer any peaks!”
“If you lie naked on the ice, then the germ will no longer creep up on you!”
“This is how to save yourself from illnesses - do more sports!”
“To improve your health, you need to visit the bathhouse!”

Career and work

***
This year predicts a lot of money and success!
Raise your glass
And may you be lucky!

***
Are you expecting a miracle in the New Year?!
And the reason sounds like a toast -
Rapid growth in your career awaits you!

***
If you work like a horse,
Life will not be sweet!
In the New Year there will be a moment for rest,
And for a driving weekend, this is no joke!

***
In the New Year, cruel jokes are played on colleagues
They will create large gaps in the aura!

***
The year will bring good luck in work -
You can solve any problem.

***
Career advancement promises courage -
You will move to the top floor!

Predictions about work in prose will also make the holiday interesting.

There are many exciting daily activities awaiting you in the New Year.
Already at the beginning of the year you will hear a powerful explosion: your envious people and competitors will burst with envy.
After the New Year holidays, you will be attacked by... incredible luck, happiness and prosperity. Resistance won't help.
When lateness at work disappears, your wish for a promotion will come true.
A budget increase is already expected at the beginning of summer.
Look carefully at your step so as not to stray from the successful path.
There will be much more finance. Where is your thicker wallet?!

Love and relationships

“The White Rat advises not to grieve, because friends will be nearby all year.”
“Blood will sparkle in your veins, because love will warm your heart.”
“This is the forecast the heavens promise you: in the new year there will be only miracles in life!”
“An unusual year awaits: a round dance of love will swirl!”
“In the coming year, you will feel like a fish in water everywhere!”
“On a sunny deserted beach, your destiny will lie nearby.”
“Everything will be fine on the personal front!”
“There will be a sea of friends and bright, cheerful days.”
“You will have special luck - expect a new addition to your family!”
“The year promises to be successful without fail: you will fall in love with two people at the same time!”
“You are lucky in life, which means great luck awaits you all year long.”
“Be careful about gifts from loved ones: heavy objects can cause bumps on the forehead.”
“The New Year will be bright - you will receive many gifts.”
“In the New Year, don’t borrow – borrow forever.”

What year will it be

Many people are interested in what 2020 will be like in general. Here are some humorous tips on this topic.

“The rat promises good luck and a brand new dacha!”
“It will be a very difficult year, because, whatever one may say, it’s hard to carry a suitcase full of money.”
“The Rat promises you a lot of happiness and pleasant troubles in the New Year!”
“If you are energetic, then the year will be excellent.”
“An increase in your income and an exotic holiday in the middle of the year is coming.”
“There will be several wonderful days in the coming year: your birthday and each new day that comes.”
“Lots of thrills and pleasures.”
“From the beginning of the year there will be luck of various kinds.”
“The New Year will bring great gifts, and every day will be bright!”
“We hasten to disappoint you - your dreams are very modest, but great luck awaits you.”
“There will be a reason for joy in the coming year - a new car will appear.”
“Can you believe that your cherished dreams will soon come true!”
“The White Rat is preparing new discoveries and pleasant events for you this year.”
“In the New Year you are in full dress - real life in “chocolate” awaits you.

Video story

Hollywood can't even imagine

Various magicians, all-seeing people, fortune tellers and astrologers are very popular. A thoughtful prediction, presented in a comic form, will capture the attention of guests for a long time and make the holiday even brighter. When trying to understand what and how to predict, think about Hollywood, or more precisely, about the names of popular films with an intriguing plot.

To implement the idea, the lights in the room are turned off, only candles and garlands remain, and quiet music is turned on. A glass vase in the shape of a ball is passed around in a circle. Neon lights or garlands are placed at the bottom of the vase, and rose petals cut from corrugated paper are sprinkled on top. One of the following parting words should be written on one side of the petal:

This year expects a “big jackpot”.
Next summer you will see “Midnight in Paris”.
You will soon meet - “Meet the Parents.”
You will never be a “third wheel”.
This year you will experience “Fatal Attraction”.
You will soon find out that you are a “Million Dollar Beauty”.
Tomorrow you will have “Sex and the City.”

The number of entries is limited by the imagination of the person who compiled them and the number of films and TV series whose names are part of the joke. Each person at the table can receive several pieces of paper. This idea will make a good game, the winner of which is the one who has more rose petals and, accordingly, more predictions. The reward could be a dance to your favorite song or permission to come up with your own parting words for each participant.

With a song through life

Song lyrics are an inexhaustible source of information. The main leader of the holiday approaches each of the guests with a large dish, on which papers with a fortune are scattered in a chaotic manner, and asks to take one of them.

On parchment you can write:

Next year he expects: “There are so many separations on earth.”
In February you will meet - “Money, money, money.” Always sunny in the rich man’s world.”
In the spring you should be careful with - “Oh, this wedding, wedding, wedding sang and danced.”
You should beware of a woman with the name - “Natasha, Natasha, my heart and soul.”
A stranger will say, “I didn’t even know that love could be cruel.”
Everyday work will be like: “And I’m going all dressed up in Dolce Gabana.”
After the salary increase, you - “Oh, I feel like the girls are going on a spree.”

The choice of song can be anything. The prediction must be listened to carefully. Anyone who can sing the next verse in the song and name the artist will be given a small gift.

Poetic predictions among friends

New Year 2020 is a time for relaxation and rest. To make the holiday more fun, you can please your friends by fulfilling comic predictions in poetic form:

***
There will be money and success
Sex, girlfriend is the best
Both salary and work,
But there is one concern
If the limousine is new,
Georgians will not give you,
Can't see all these benefits
Somehow it’s like that!

***
After the holiday party,
Don't forget to buy a cart.
There will be a sea of money soon,
Row them, forgetting about grief.

***
If you celebrate the New Year you are covered in sour cream, like a cat,
Happiness and success will delight everyone for a long time
So don’t sit here, hurry to the store
And buy not a liter, not two, but a bucket and a half -
Vodka, beer, moonshine, cognac, more liquor,
May these honest people remember the New Year for a long time!

***
In the New Year, a new salary,
Fur coat, handbag, boots,
A sprig of thorns,
Glory, a little honor.

***
All wishes will come true,
And there will be success in everything,
But for the sake of great recognition
Tear everyone with your teeth.

***
There is a danger that colleagues
They'll roll you out on a cart,
So that you will never see such shame,
It’s better to sit in a corner and quietly sip your juice.

***
This is a prediction for you
Silence will not lead to good,
So that you have success
Sing a song for everyone.

Predictions in prose

Before the start of the celebration, each guest is given 1 prediction. When it is his turn to make a toast, instead of his speech he reads what is written on the piece of paper. It is not recommended to expand the message until the toast itself.

“This year everyone will find a treasure - a spouse’s stash, a bill lost by the boss, a 50-year-old coin that rolled behind the sofa.”

“You will be attacked in the coming year. Among the criminals there will be a stroke of luck that you cannot fight off.”

“Smile more often, and then sign a lucrative contract with the toothpaste manufacturer.”

“Working hard in the Year of the Rat will make you feel like a pilot in a time machine, as it will throw you back into the Year of the Horse.”

“Next year you will win a million dollars, which will allow you to quit your job until next year.”

“Expect strong shocks at the end of the year. Shocked by your success, all envious people and competitors will explode with anger.”

“By giving your other half a diamond ring, you will become as close as possible to your colleagues, since you will have to sleep at work for the rest of the year.”

Make jokes in such a way as not to offend the person, make him smile, and maybe even reflect on the advice he received. Don't predict anything serious. Talking about personal tragedies, lack of money and troubles at work is not something you should think about at the New Year's table.

For a prediction to be truly interesting, it must be designed for specific people. So, if a family of children, young people and elderly people has gathered at the table, then you should clearly refrain from making jokes on intimate topics. The topic could be shared pleasant memories. The theme for children is their favorite fairy tales and cartoons. Not knowing how to make a prediction for an adult, you can look into a book with your favorite poems. Many psychics do this.

Pay attention to the design. Show your imagination and creativity. At the same time, keep in mind that in 2020 the trend will be elegance and simplicity. What are the options for making comic forecasts?

Cookie. The result will be a treat, a reason to have fun, and make the evening more fun.
Postcards in the shape of snowflakes, Christmas trees or Christmas balls. The New Year's prophecy will be written inside.
Bundles with future forecasts in beautiful organza bags. An addition of sweets would also be a great idea.
Paper parcels in a large glass vase so that each guest can dip their hand into it and choose a fun forecast.
Air balloons. This way, guests will be able to burst the balloons and read the forecast about upcoming events.

You can use nut cookies, mini Christmas socks containing packages with prophecies, and place candy wrappers with forecasts on the Christmas trees. The New Year's celebration is bright in itself, and therefore requires compliance in everything. Make sure that the candy wrappers with forecasts are also on topic.

Pay attention to the meaning of the predictions so that they create a festive mood and delight those present. Funny forecasts will make the New Year's party humorous, unpredictable, and bright. You can also use catchphrases from films, catchy titles, song quotes. Eg.

Many people believe in horoscope predictions, signs, omens, and superstitions. The practice of predictions is several thousand years old. The prophecies of the Delphic oracle, to which even kings turned, were worth a lot. Sorcerers and soothsayers knew how to “read” people’s destinies from the palm of their hand, dreams, natural phenomena, events and omens. Today, for the most part, predictions for the future are perceived as humorous, but they also make you think and change behavior and perception.

In the east there is still a tradition of serving fortune cookies. Supposedly, a person can pull out his fate. Comic predictions that are short and funny can be great entertainment for a fun company. The person who has prepared such “instructions” for the future for friends has the goal of amusing, delighting the guests, and giving a charge of positive emotions.

Comic predictions can be in poetry or prose, have a direct meaning or carry an allegory. Of course, you shouldn’t take what you predicted seriously, these are still cool, comic predictions. What can you wish for the future and how can you design it in an interesting way? We offer several original examples.

Comic predictions for the future in verse

From payday to payday, life gets better!

Stop moping and being upset,

You need to smile more often.

Who goes into the world with a smile,

He is lucky in everything he does.

If you wait another six months, you will find happiness in life!

There are only a couple of moments left until summer, and there, as expected, is a lot of fun!

Don't rush tomorrow, but don't relax either,

Get ready to work, but don't overwork yourself.

Save up your energy until the evening

May the party be fun.

Look around, you see people smiling.

These are true friends that people rely on!

Go to the store with your husband - he received his salary!

Keep your nose in the wind and your tail like a pistol.

Let the solution to the question “the glass is half empty or half full” be the only difficulty in your life!

From next week, every day will seem like Friday for you.

Don’t have a hundred rubles, but have a hundred friends with a hundred rubles.

Learning is light, don't forget to take a flashlight.

Smile - it annoys everyone!

Tomorrow there will be a holiday on your street, don’t miss the moment!

If life throws a spanner in the works, it's time to take a walk.

Dreaming of a vacation? Dreams Come True!

Finally you will receive a minister's salary. The main thing is that the minister is not against it.

The classic version is shell cookies. Knead the most common lean dough (it will bake faster). Roll out the cake, cut into equal circles. Place the prepared predictions on small pieces of paper in the center of each dough circle. Now make the “dumplings” by folding them in the shape of a shell. Place the cookie dough in the oven for a few minutes to bake the dough.
Place your wishes on long narrow strips of paper. Roll each one into a roll. Attach a candy to one end. Place it all in a candy bowl and mix.
The wishes themselves can be wrapped in the same sweets under the label.
Roll rectangular pieces of colored paper (10x10 cm) with wishes into a tube. Tie each bundle with a colored ribbon. To present your wishes beautifully, find a beautiful vase.
Decorate 6x8 cm cardboard cards beautifully, write what you want in the center of each. Cover the surface with a thin layer of clear nail polish (to add gloss). Once the varnish has dried, paint over the area with the text with white stationery corrector. To read the wish, you need to erase the white layer with a coin. Instead of corrector, you can use PVA glue and add a little paint to the solution.
You can prepare miniature fabric bags and place notes with wishes in them. As well as decorated matchboxes, chocolate egg toy cases, plastic spinning balls, decorative perfume sample bottles with a stopper. In general, there is no limit to your design fantasies.

In the process of preparing for the New Year holidays, you need to think about how you will entertain your guests. It will be very boring to drink and eat all the time, but New Year 2018 is a cheerful and kind holiday.

You can hold fun competitions, or you can make funny and humorous predictions for the New Year of the Dog 2018. On this page you will find them. There will be short and funny predictions, in poetry and prose. Be sure to warn your guests that these predictions are of a comic nature.

It is best to present such predictions as follows. Write them on pieces of paper and put them in a container. Guests will take out and read the predictions.

Waiting for you this year
Happiness and peace in everyday life.

And even if the rooster is not a migratory rooster,
A great vacation awaits you!

Don't expect much from the year
Love is enough for you!

May your wish come true this year,
You need to keep your promise!

Waiting for you this year
The road is long, my friend.
You will go through it many times,
From home to work and back!

Wait for a salary increase
Or a new addition to the family!
***

Fun awaits you at the beginning of the year,
And after that there will only be a binge with a hangover.
So friend, don't yawn
Improve your health!

This year will be busy
Full of things to do, worries, troubles.
To get even with them,
You will have to try!

Find time for love
But just don't pass by.

Career growth is not coming soon,
But things will go uphill!

Waiting for you on the first
A whole crowd of guests!

Those who like to sleep a lot

A year without surprises awaits again!

You will sleep through all the surprises,

Just don't blame us for that!

The cockroaches in your head will have a very fun year.

Next year your friends will not forget you. You can't forget someone who owes you money.

Next year all your problems will go away. Because even they are bored with you...

Your life next year will be as multifaceted as a glass. Well, you understand…

Your dreams will gain strength and declare war on your sofa.

Next year you will understand that your inner core is a pain in the ass.

Next year, your body will decide for itself when it sleeps, where it sleeps and with whom it sleeps. Don't contradict him - he knows better!

You will spend your vacation where everything is inclusive - with relatives.

If you get bored, sing romances. Your finances will always keep you company.

The bad news is you will gain weight. The good news is that the increase will occur in the wallet area.

From a bad habit in the new year
You will definitely get rid of it.
But here's the problem: instead of one
Two new ones will replace them

You will spend your vacation at sea,
You will warm both body and soul.
You spend the entire amount, you get burned five times,
You'll gain six kilograms.

Smile always, smile everywhere,
Smile on land and water!
Fate will repay you for your smiles
A couple of wrinkles and a lot of money!

Either you eat it, or you pump it up,
Or you'll sit in a chair -
Know that next year
You will grow your butt significantly.

If you start kissing
Every day for half an hour,
All dreams will begin to come true.
Life will be filled with miracles!

Have a higher power for you
Disappointing forecast:
New Year promises you
Love madness!

If you can, without being lazy,
Plow like a horse on Thursdays
Fate will open the way for you
To big, big money.

If you walk across the field -
You will find money in the field;
When you find the money -
You'll spend it all on a spree

Go around three miles
Talkative hairdresser:
Shreds at random
And he'll cut off your ear!

We need to forget for a year
About cognac, tequila, vodka.
Otherwise you will
In crime reports.

"Dear Colleagues! As a friendly team, we worked for our common corporate cause, and now is the time to relax and celebrate the New Year 2017! We didn’t get enough sleep for a whole year, and even if we did get enough sleep, we didn’t have time to have breakfast. We worked as hard as we could for a whole year, and if we didn’t make any effort, it means we were still sleeping. For a whole year and every month we waited impatiently for our wages, and on that day none of us could sleep. We truly deserve a holiday! May we achieve even more victories over sleep in the New Year, and may a friendly and peaceful atmosphere reign in our team!”

Noise and bustle in our departments

They never stop talking.

The holiday is already underway

And we have a large amount of work.

Time left until the holiday

Just a little and just a little bit

So guys, let's finish

Bend your backs!

And may the year be happy

Let's dig into food

Your charm and beauty are preparing a happy meeting for you in the New Year

After such a delicious New Year's treat, you will be fighting off guests all year long

Keep it clean. Wash your hands before eating. If your hands are dirty, you will get contagious diseases.

If you get up early in the new year, you will never be late for work.

This month you will have unexpected guests

It’s as if everyone has conspired - they’ll eat the refrigerator,

They'll drink all the vodka, they'll break the TV,

They will break all your dishes and ruin the kitchen.

Play the lottery this month

The prediction is that you will certainly be lucky

You just need to buy tickets, partially load them into the tanker,

And partly in two carriages, the rest - in a plane.

This month they will lure you to the dacha to have some fun

Swim, drink beer and eat barbecue

Don't believe these stories - they will force you to work there

Better sit at home, drink beer at home!

Or maybe even triplets, or maybe quadruples

And then the state will give you a huge apartment

Flag of honor in both hands and a dun horse!!!

This month the computer won't work as it should

Hit the motherboard hard with your fist.

If it doesn’t help, hit it with a sledgehammer, kick it on the monitor...

You will then explain to your superiors: “She started it first!”

This month the boss will get angry for no reason,

You tell him calmly, looking straight: “THIS IS THE GOAT!”

To top off the arguments, quickly, without sudden movements,

Give him a wastepaper basket like a hat.

And relief will come: A question that has been tormenting for a long time

“Who will be laid off” - It will finally be resolved.

Tonight you will fall asleep at the doorstep,

Forgetting to undress and take off your shoes,

Don't judge yourself harshly in the morning:

The main thing is that you were able to wake up.

This month, decide to hijack a plane to the West,

But you can’t think of anything to scare the pilots with,

Read them excerpts from today's newspaper, -

And they will fly to any country with you.

On Monday, early in the morning, the boss will offend you at work,

Without wasting a minute, you call all the newspapers,

Having reported the boss's mobile phone number in private advertisements,

Let him then, the bore, know the salt of everyone entering - free!

Predictions for the New Year of the Dog 2018: short, funny, humorous at the table

You definitely won't be going to work this month.

Why go there in the morning when you want to sleep.

You will be forced to try and work there all day long....

By the way, money from your salary will always be not enough for you

This month you will definitely be invited to work

Ten large corporations, perhaps even a hundred

Out of great joy you will steal all the secrets

Give them away to your competitors and you will live richly!

Very soon it will happen that you will become the boss

And now everything depends on you that was not on you before,

Start with the main goal - cut everyone's salaries.

Money can come in handy - don’t spend it just like that.

This month you may be sent on vacation to the sea

Crocodiles, cashelots, birds sing there.

The savages are dancing nearby and cooking soup here.

Go on a boat, bring your friends.

So that all the hungry natives can be fed quickly...

This month they will suddenly ask you to help with housework,

Don't go to stores - the groceries stink there,

But no one taught you how to wear a gas mask.

Don't let anyone vacuum with a vacuum cleaner -

He yells like crazy - You don't need an alarm clock.

If you haven't found a penny in your pocket,

Look in your neighbor's pocket - obviously there is money there.

Baba Yaga's comic predictions for the New Year for children are short and funny

To give your children a great holiday, it would be nice to add a little magic.

Free online interpretation of dreams - to get results, enter the dream and click on the search button with a magnifying glass

Write funny predictions on a piece of paper, roll them up and put them in a hat, and let each child pull one out.

The text could be like this:

Take two red threads from identical spools.
Twist them and wrap them not too tightly around the ring finger of your right hand, reading the plot:

“I don’t twist threads, but I twist destinies. The Servant of God (name) and the Servant of God (name) were separate, but they will become together. One soul, one blood, one flesh. Amen!"
Carefully remove the resulting ring from your finger and hide it under your bed.
If the desired union with the chosen young man is not hampered by any external circumstances, your most cherished dream will soon be fulfilled. It is possible that things will quickly come to a head.
— Fortune telling with two threads

- you will listen to mom and dad, you will eat candy;
- whoever drinks a lot of milk grows quickly;
- If you don’t eat porridge, you will become a frail, weak guy.

Comic predictions for mothers from children, fate

Mothers also want to feel the magic of the holiday; children can prepare a surprise for them in the form of wrapped papers with fortunes.

Definition of magical abilities

Choose the description that suits you best and find out what your hidden magical abilities are.

Pronounced telepathy - you can read and transmit thoughts at a distance, but it takes a lot of work to achieve your goal and believe in your hidden capabilities.

Remember that the lack of a mentor and control of abilities will turn good into harm, and no one knows how destructive the consequences of the devil's influence can be.

All signs of clairvoyance. With some effort and the support of higher powers, you can develop the gift of recognizing the future and seeing the past.

If the forces are not controlled by a mentor who can help cope with them, ruptures in temporary space are possible and evil will begin to seep into our world, gradually absorbing it with dark energy.

Be careful with your gift.

By all indications, he is a medium. It's about being able to connect with spirits and even control the passage of time, but it takes years of practice and the right mentor.

If the balance of power is upset, then darkness will begin to absorb the remnants of good and power that could serve for good, I will move to another hypostasis and darkness will reign.

By all accounts, it’s witchcraft. You can study and cast damage, the evil eye, you can do love spells and divination will not be an overwhelming task.

But everything must be used exclusively for the good and done so that others do not suffer, in their innocence, from your superpowers given from above.

Developing inner strength requires at least 5 years of practice and the right mentor.

What is most characteristic of you is telekinesis. With the right concentration and effort, which can be compressed into a spherical force, you will be able to move small and, over time, larger objects with the power of thought.

By choosing a mentor who has more power, you have a bright future, which can be darkened by a transition to the dark side if you are not strong enough to keep yourself from the temptations of Satan.

You are a healer. Practical magic, incantations, spells and everything connected with it are not just words, but your life choice and power, which is given by the higher mind and this is not just like that, but for a sacred purpose that you will soon learn.

It will be like a vision, like a prophetic dream that you can never forget.

Remember that this power must be used only for good, otherwise you will be swallowed up by darkness and this will be the beginning of the end.

Your child will be the smartest in the class.

This year you will have extra salary to buy sweets.