What does it mean? Money fell on a grave. Did you know that there are certain rules of conduct in a cemetery

In different countries, it is common for people to visit the graves of their ancestors. But only the Russian person has the most reverent attitude towards the cemetery, towards the graves. As Pushkin wrote:

Two feelings are wonderfully close to us -

The heart finds food in them:

Love for the native ashes,

Love for fathers' coffins.

Note that cemetery comes from the word treasure, which in turn comes from the verb to put, to lay down. But at the same time, as you know, treasure is a word meaning something valuable buried in the ground. And buried for the time being. So the word cemetery means that a treasure is buried there for the time being - the body of an Orthodox Christian, which will certainly rise on the day of the general Resurrection. The Russian cemetery is not a necropolis, as it has become fashionable to say. Necropolis means the city of the dead, and according to Orthodoxy, God has no dead. Therefore, a Russian cemetery is a place where deceased people (who have fallen asleep for a while) rest in anticipation of the resurrection. That is why our people treated the cemetery, the grave of their ancestors, as a sacred place.

Unfortunately, this concept has largely been lost today. But it remained in the genetic folk memory. This is evidenced by the fact that even unchurched people strive to visit the graves of relatives or friends. God has no dead... And our people come to their deceased relatives as if they were alive, as if on a date. People indulge in memories, reflect on their lives and try to somehow honor the memory of the deceased. They take care of the grave, renewing crosses, tombstones and monuments. And that's not a bad thing. However, we need to know that the deceased will not feel any better because their graves are well-kept and not forgotten. They will not feel any better from our thoughts about them, from the wish “may you rest in peace.” And is such a wish better than the prayer-request “With the saints, Lord rest the soul of your departed servant...”

When we take care of a grave, we show our respect, our love for the deceased by doing something. Of course that's good. The graves of deceased people close to us are a reflection of our soul. Neat and well-groomed, it expresses our love and memory. But the external manifestation of love means practically nothing to the soul of the deceased. But prayer is the greatest thing we can do in memory of the deceased, it is the deepest manifestation of our love for him. During prayer, the soul of the person praying receives peace and the soul of the deceased. And without prayer in the cemetery, you may feel sad and even despondent. And this, in turn, will be felt by the soul of the deceased, and then what kind of peace can we talk about?

The elder of our time, Archimandrite Kirill (Pavlov), spoke very well about the meaning of prayer for the deceased. “Death often strikes a person suddenly, and he, without making any repentance, also departs with his sins. He himself can no longer help himself by any means. A person can change his fate only when he is alive, doing good deeds and praying to the Lord for his salvation. It is in such cases that prayer for the departed is very necessary and provides them with the greatest benefit.

The time will come when we will see them. How joyful it will be to hear from them a word of gratitude for prayer! They will say: “You remembered me, did not forget me and helped me in my time of need. I thank you.” And on the contrary: how bitter it will be to hear a reproach to someone who did not pray for the dead! “You didn’t remember me, you didn’t pray for me, you didn’t help me in my hour of need, I reproach you.”

The state of the deceased is similar to the position of a person floating on a very dangerous river. Prayer for the dead is like a lifeline that a person throws to a drowning neighbor. If somehow the gates of eternity opened before us and we saw these hundreds, thousands of millions of people rushing to a peaceful refuge, then no matter what heart would be amazed and crushed at the sight of their fellow believers and half-blooded loved ones, without words calling out to our prayer help!

The best prayer for the dead is the collective prayer of the entire Church. Therefore, before visiting the cemetery, one of the relatives should come to the church at the beginning of the service, submit a note with the name of the deceased for commemoration at the altar (it is best if this is a commemoration at the proskomedia, when a piece is taken out of a special prosphora for the deceased, and then, as a sign of washing away his sins, they will lower him into the Chalice with the Holy Gifts).

The prayer will be more effective if the one commemorating on this day himself partakes of the Body and Blood of Christ. After the liturgy, a memorial service must be celebrated.

When you visit a cemetery, you need to light a candle on the grave. And since the candle is often blown out by the wind, you should have a special closed candlestick for it, which is sold directly in Orthodox Christian shops or in Orthodox shops. We can recommend contacting the Orthodox online store “Zerna”, where there is a large selection of such candlesticks. It also has special lanterns for lighting candles. Such lanterns were traditionally used by our ancestors. The resumption of such a tradition promotes respect for the Orthodox culture of lighting candles in the cemetery. Such a lantern is especially useful when a lithium is being celebrated at the grave of a loved one.

To perform the rite of litia in commemoration of the dead, a priest must be invited. If for some reason it is difficult to do this, then you can perform a short rite yourself, according to the book “The rite of lithium performed by a layman at home and in the cemetery.” You can even pray in your own words. After all, the main thing in prayer is our heartfelt disposition, a sincere appeal to God for the repose of the soul of a loved one.

Then clean up the grave and indulge in memories of the deceased. But not those that insult his memory, but those that move us to soul-searching thoughts.

There is no need to eat or drink in the cemetery; it is especially unacceptable to pour vodka on the grave - this insults the memory of the deceased. The custom of leaving a glass of vodka and a piece of bread at the grave “for the deceased” is a relic of paganism. There is no need to leave any food on the grave; it is better to give it to the beggar or the hungry. Archbishop John (Maksimovich) spoke about it this way: “Relatives and friends of the deceased! Do for them what they need and what you can. Spend money not on external decorations of the coffin and grave, but on helping those in need, in memory of deceased loved ones, on churches where prayers are offered for them.”

Unfortunately, external decoration of graves is becoming increasingly common. But take a closer look at different graves and you will see that a simple cross on a grave grass mound with fresh flowers looks natural and evokes a feeling of peace. Because the cross on the grave of an Orthodox Christian reminds us that God has no dead, that all the dead will one day be resurrected. That's why it evokes peace.

But the grave, crushed by granite and the huge block of the monument, evokes a heavy feeling. Is this why sobs are often heard at such graves instead of prayers, they drink vodka so that the deceased may rest in peace, then they sob again and leave, crushed by melancholy, like granite crushing the grave.

A cross, be it made of metal or wood, is more appropriate for the resting place of an Orthodox Christian than expensive monuments and marble tombstones. But, of course, the solution to this very delicate issue is a personal matter and is decided by each family individually.

“We will try, as much as possible, to help the departed, instead of tears, instead of sobs, instead of magnificent tombs - with our prayers, alms and offerings for them, so that in this way both they and we will receive the promised benefits,” said St. John Chrysostom.

That is why it is so soulful to make a donation to the temple or give alms to the poor with a request to pray for the deceased servant of God, calling his name. It is good to bring food for commemoration to church; a special place for this is the eve. Usually they buy cereals, boxed candies, juice, red wine, vegetable oil, eggs, pasta. These products are then given to those in need and will be a sacrifice made for the deceased.

However, as mentioned above, first of all it is necessary to pray for the departed. This is the most important thing we can do for those who have passed on to another world.

Unfortunately, every person has to visit a cemetery several times in their life: to attend a funeral, restore order, or simply visit deceased relatives. At such moments, it is necessary to follow certain rules and pay attention to signs that will allow you to predict misfortune and prevent it.

The first and most important rule about what not to do is no alcohol and being sober when visiting a grave. If a person is drunk, he can say a lot of unnecessary words and thereby attract bad energy to himself or even anger the spirits. Subsequently, there may be retribution for insulting the deceased, so it is best to leave alcohol for the wake.

When faced with the loss of a loved one, you need to pull yourself together and try to see him off on his last journey with dignity.

Under no circumstances should you drink alcohol, although for many this seems to be the only way to dull the pain.

As mentioned above, drinking alcohol insults the memory of the deceased, and in order for his spirit to successfully leave the earth and not disturb people, the following rules must be observed:

Signs on the grave

As you know, the impossibility of placing a coffin in a hole due to its small size is a bad omen, but that’s not all: if the grave begins to collapse after burial, this may mean the imminent death of one of the deceased’s close relatives.

Some people believe that the appearance of ants on a grave is a bad sign, but it’s not at all like that: firstly, when visiting deceased relatives, people bring food - an excellent bait for ants, which is quite natural, and secondly, such insects do not grow at the burial site of bad people.

In such a situation, there is no need to worry: there is nothing wrong with the appearance of ants on a grave.

Why can't you eat in a cemetery?

When visiting the grave of the deceased, it is customary to bring food with you - cookies, sweets, pies.

This is necessary for the energy supply of the deceased, and he receives it from human food.

According to old beliefs, food brought to the grave should not be consumed, because... they no longer contain positive energy, and they not only will not bring any benefit, but can also harm a living person.

There is another interpretation: it is possible and necessary to eat food brought for commemoration, if only because over time they will disappear and begin to decompose.

However, the church does not approve of this, considering the habit of eating over the grave a relic of the pagan faith, when it was customary to remember the dead directly in the cemetery on the first Sunday after Radunitsa.

Who should not go to the cemetery?

It is not advisable for children and pregnant women to appear at the churchyard, because... they have weak energy protection.

If you neglect this rule, the spirit can move into a child or an unborn baby.

It is also not recommended for girls to visit graves during critical days: it is believed that at this time the fair sex is dirty, and the evil spirits emanating from within can prevent the deceased from moving to the Heavenly Kingdom.

If you step on a grave

When a person accidentally steps on a grave, this can cause the wrath of the deceased buried in it. The ancient peoples believed that in this case it was necessary to immediately jump back and ask for forgiveness, but in any case, trouble would not be avoided.

If a person is drawn to a cemetery

It also happens that people are overcome by an irresistible desire to go to the cemetery. Most often, this desire worries for several months after the death of a loved one.

There is another explanation - strong energy. Some people feel peace and tranquility in the churchyard. There are two options here:

If, even after visiting a church and cemetery, the desire to go there does not disappear, it means that the spirits of loved ones need more frequent communication, and there is nothing wrong.

In order to avoid misfortunes, it is enough to follow a few rules:

Why can't you count money at the cemetery?

Another most common superstition is that you should not count your money over a grave. As you know, what you boast about, you will be left without.

A person who neglects this rule may soon notice a deterioration in his financial situation.

If even a lot of banknotes have fallen on the graveyard, it is best to leave them there and not pick them up, otherwise you can attract diseases and problems to yourself, for the solution of which you will have to spend a much larger amount.

If you fell in a cemetery

Very often at funerals people either lose consciousness or stumble due to their distracted state and fall.

In both cases, falling into a cemetery is a bad sign, foreshadowing illness or the imminent death of the person who has fallen.

To protect him from harm, you need to read the “Our Father” over him three times, sprinkle him with blessed water and cross him with a lit church candle.

If a monument to a close relative falls in a churchyard, this indicates that he is trying to remind himself of himself or talk to the living in order to predict a significant event or protect him from harm. In the latter case, to communicate with the deceased, you will have to turn to a medium.

Animals at funerals

After the death of a person, it is advisable to remove all animals, especially cats, from his home at least for a while: it is believed that they are the ones who maintain contact with spirits, and if necessary, the latter can move into them.

If a cat follows a crowd of people during a funeral procession, you need to carefully remove it to another place. You cannot kick or push with your foot, because... it may contain the soul of a deceased person.

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How to visit a cemetery correctly? A question that worries many relatives of deceased people.

It turns out that in the old days there were beliefs that our great-grandmothers adhered to.

Traditionally, many superstitions are associated with cemeteries, which, by the way, are not groundless. Signs in a graveyard can warn of impending danger, so burials should be visited with the utmost caution. And the signs seen at the resting places must be treated carefully.
First of all, you need to remember - under no circumstances should you disturb the dead, this will lead to disaster. You shouldn’t come to them empty-handed either; bring sweets that you will leave at the grave.

In order not to “take” misfortune and misfortune from the cemetery into your home, psychics advise adhering to simple rules of behavior.

Alexander Zhukov, psychic: “The very first thing is that you need to enter the cemetery correctly, so as not to leave your luck, happiness there, and most importantly, to “catch on” to various diseases.
You must enter the cemetery with open hands., if you are carrying a bag, you should not hold it in your palm. It must be hung over the hand so that all fingers and hands are open.
This is done so that you don’t take anything with you, just the good things that are in your life today.”

At the same time, we should not forget about what can and cannot be said at the resting places. You can share your experiences with deceased relatives, but not complain, but rather share. However words should not cause envy or excessive pity: in both cases, the dead can “take” you to their place.
Remember to allow yourself you can only be open with a relative you trusted during your lifetime and with whom they were close.

There is such a sign: Whatever good you say on a grave will remain on it. A phrase like: “I feel so bad, I want to die...” can become fatal. The spirits of the cemetery may view this as a call to action.

In addition, we should not forget that not everyone can talk with the dead, or come to the cemetery.

Alexander Zhukov, psychic: “I’ll say right away - Pregnant women are not allowed in the cemetery! Not for a funeral, not for parent's day. Generally not possible. According to signs, the following events may occur:

The souls of the dead will take the soul of the unborn baby with them;
. An alien soul can inhabit an unborn child.

This sign has been preserved for a long time and was associated with high infant mortality and the danger of difficult childbirth in pregnant women. Now this sign is not so relevant, so treat it wisely.
If a pregnant woman needs to say goodbye to the deceased, or at the call of her heart to visit the graves of relatives, then she should wear something red, tie her hand with a red thread, or keep a piece of red cloth in her pocket.

And under no circumstances Children under 12 years old cannot be brought to the cemetery. This is very dangerous for the child’s health and his future. You can completely change the fate of a child! From a mystical point of view, the aura of children is very weak, and it is difficult for children to protect themselves from the penetration of negative energy.

It is forbidden coming to a funeral to say goodbye to one person, simultaneously visit the graves of other people buried nearby.

Violation of at least one of the rules may entail the attraction of a large amount of negative information, which, like a weight, will pull you to the ground.

Visiting a cemetery for remembrance

Undoubtedly, paying one’s last respects to the deceased and honoring his memory by attending the funeral is an indicator of the moral and ethical standards prescribed by society.

A cemetery is a special place. It “connects” the world of the living and the world of the dead. Therefore, it is necessary to treat him with respect and observe certain signs and rules of behavior so as not to anger the dead and not pay for your disrespect.

❧ You need to carefully prepare for visiting a cemetery, paying special attention to your clothing. Traditional colors are white and black. More than anything Black color is suitable for a cemetery, since it is considered a mourning color, a color symbolizing grief. If your wardrobe does not have items of suitable colors, you should choose clothes in muted tones.

❧ Legs must be covered. It is unacceptable to walk around the cemetery in open sandals or high-heeled shoes. The graveyard is a place where “dead” energy accumulates; the earth is especially heavily saturated with it. There is a saying: the dead attract the living. It can be regarded as a warning - cemetery soil, when it comes into contact with bare skin, has a negative effect on a person. First of all, the negative impact affects his health.

❧ At the cemetery before noon, after noon at church. It is better to visit deceased relatives before lunch, otherwise in the afternoon the spirits may play tricks on those who came.

❧ You can’t swear in a cemetery - all the swearing will remain on you. It's really, really true. Everything bad that is said in the cemetery falls on the shoulders of the one who spoke out. There can't even be other options here. In a cemetery you need to be especially careful both in statements and in deeds. In general, when staying in a cemetery, you need to be very careful. Attentiveness and politeness are qualities that the deceased greatly value. This is the very case when the idea that life does not end after death has special meaning. Therefore, it is necessary to show respect to those who have already left, otherwise they may punish.

❧ If you bring a beautiful bouquet, that’s wonderful, but don’t neglect the recommendation to bring an even number of colors.
When throwing away withered flowers, you should replace them with new ones and explain to the deceased why this is being done.

❧ If when planting flowers, digging on the grave some strange things were discovered, foreign objects, we need to take them out of the cemetery and throw them away. Ideally, burn it, trying not to get caught in the smoke.
The things on the graves could have been left behind by sorcerers causing damage. By taking such an object, a person takes part of the damage upon himself.

❧ A week after Easter, it is customary to come to the cemetery to remember relatives and friends. Eating in a cemetery, or, as is very common among the Slavs, drinking strong (alcoholic) drinks is also prohibited.
Negative energy accumulates in the cemetery, this place is not conducive to fun, people come here with grief. Food absorbs all this, and after eating you can feel unhealthy.
The Christian Church also insists that funerals should not be held in the cemetery. The funeral feast at the cemetery dates back to pagan times, when funeral rites were performed on the mounds after burial. Christianity does not support pagan traditions. Although debates about this custom are still ongoing among church theorists.
It’s better to give alms to the poor and visit a temple, order a memorial service for the deceased - this way of honoring the dead is more acceptable and spiritually useful.

❧ If you still adhere to the tradition of remembering the deceased with a glass of vodka at the grave, then remember only good things about them and drink without clinking glasses, so as not to transfer trouble from one house to another.

Signs at the cemetery

There are many signs about the cemetery. Even people who are deeply indifferent to superstitions try to adhere to them. That's just the way this place is. No one knows what the world of the dead may bring, so it is better to pay close attention to the signs.

❧Grave desecrators, cemetery thieves, face a sad fate, for they are haunted by evil fate.

❧ Stumble in a cemetery- not good. Even worse is to fall. Signs advise you to immediately leave the cemetery, wash yourself with holy water, cross yourself and read the Lord’s Prayer three times.
Believe me, it doesn’t matter to your soul where you remember it - in a cemetery or in a temple, or in a conversation with your family. The main thing is that you are sincere and that these memories have a light, kind shade.

❧ As already mentioned, there is a superstition that in the cemetery You can’t talk about the successes and achievements of your life and so as not to leave everything here.

❧ Also It is not allowed to count money in the cemetery, otherwise you may never see them again. If a bill is taken out of a wallet, or it even falls to the ground, it must be left at the grave of a relative or namesake in order to pay off possible poverty and premature death.

❧ Basically, any item that falls onto the cemetery ground no longer belongs to its living owner. You shouldn't pick it up. If the item is really necessary, you need to leave a donation to the deceased and the owner of the cemetery - a bottle of vodka and sweets.

❧ From the cemetery under no circumstances You can't bring any things home(this does not apply to sweets that children collect, since they commemorate all the dead with them). This will harm the one who took the things and the people who used them.
Do not take anything from the cemetery or bring it into the house, no matter how valuable it may be. According to signs, you will take this from the dead, and they will punish you with troubles and illnesses.
This item can cause harm not only to the person who brought this item home from the cemetery, but also to any other person who picks it up.

Important! Handkerchiefs with tears are also thrown away during funerals when burying the grave; they are not taken out of the cemetery!

❧ Don’t take pictures at the cemetery; You will remain surrounded by negative energy in the photo, and who knows how this will affect your destiny.
By taking photographs against the backdrop of many graves, you capture the invisible world of spirits of the departed and otherworldly entities, which will subsequently easily find their way to your home.

Sign of a broken tombstone

❧ A monument or cross fell down for no reason, it means that the soul of the deceased has not completed important matters for it, something is bothering it.

There are also forgotten, outdated signs that are believed only in the outback, in villages where modern morals have not yet reached. Thus, a sign of a broken tombstone a priori cannot promise anything pleasant and kind. If the monument deteriorated without human intervention, and did not suffer at the hands of vandals and looters, then in the near future there will be another dead person in the family of the deceased.

It doesn’t matter what kind of damage the burial place received: whether the cross simply broke, the gravestone or the pedestal itself cracked, or the ground subsided and a deep hole formed - every change threatens the relatives of the person lying here with another death. You can figure out who the old woman with the scythe will look at next time by determining which side the earth collapsed from:

• from the southern side - a man will die;
• the north side “fell” - a woman will die;
• the eastern edge subsided - an elderly family member will die;
• on the western side the earth has gone - death will take a small child.

❧ Suicides can only be remembered when a bird pecks at the grain scattered on their graves. A few grains of wheat are sprinkled on the grave of the suicide and they are watched from afar: if the bird does not peck those grains, then there is no need to remember the deceased, except on Saturdays of St. Demetrius and All Saints.

❧ If you know you will be visiting a cemetery, take water with you and When leaving, be sure to wash your hands and face, to remove negative energy.

❧ You should not drink water that flows from the water supply system located on the territory of the cemetery. It is used only for cleaning graves and monuments. You should stock up on drinking water at home before visiting the cemetery.

❧ Make sure when leaving that you do not forget anything at the cemetery, forgotten things are damaged.

❧ Always leave the cemetery the way you came. But when visiting the deceased, it is better to choose different roads, at least go around your own street and go to the house from the other side.

❧ Leaving the cemetery, You cannot turn back, even if you are called out or called. It is believed that deceased souls wander among the graves and do not realize that they no longer have a place in the world of the living. When a person turns around, the deceased soul may perceive this as an invitation to follow the living person. As a result, a visitor to the graveyard will bring a deceased person into his house, which can cause a lot of trouble to the inhabitants of the house.

❧ Also, signs say that after visiting the cemetery it is important to dry your feet thoroughly, so as not to damage your home with cemetery soil. This land can cause many health problems; it carries bad energy.

❧ After leaving the cemetery and coming home, it is important to properly warm your hands (even if they are not frozen)- hold in hot water over fire.
It is best to light a church candle with matches (only them) and warm your hands over it. Place the palms of your hands as close to the candle fire as you can bear. Move and “burn” the entire area of ​​​​your palms and fingers in this way.
After this, the candle cannot be blown out; carefully extinguish it with your fingers. This is done so that you don’t bring death into the house, don’t drag it on yourself, and don’t get sick.

❧ You cannot visit anyone after the funeral- you will bring death to the house of the person you visited. But it is advisable to stop somewhere in a public place before returning home. It is believed that the tradition of wakes in a dining room or cafe is a consequence of this sign.

Cat in the cemetery

It has long been known that the dead are able to transmit information through various animals: birds, cats, dogs. It is not for nothing that in the old days birds were considered the embodiment of souls that had lost their human bodies. But birds flying over a graveyard or a house where a dead person lies are not as dangerous as a cat, which, remember, was considered a mythical, sacred animal by the ancient Egyptians.

In the home where death occurred, pets were immediately removed and isolated so that the spirit of the deceased would not move in with his pet.

The appearance of a cat in a cemetery is interpreted as follows:

• if a cat is lying on a grave or walking nearby, try to leave this place - most likely, there is a strong anomalous zone that destroys a person’s aura;
• if the cat is black, then perhaps the witch went out for a walk, or it is the rushing soul of a sinner;
• white cat - the soul of a righteous man who has not completed his journey on earth, warns of impending danger or illness;
• if the cat just slipped past you in the cemetery - rest assured - it’s just someone’s spirit who came to look at a new friend, that is, at the one who is being buried.

In any case, treat the cat with respect - do not hit or drive it away, it is better to distract it from yourself (if it has followed you) with some kind of gift.

❧ A good sign for a person who has passed on to the next world and his relatives is finding an old, earlier burial with intact bones in a grave being prepared. An ancient belief says that the deceased will find solace in the afterlife and will not bother his relatives by appearing to them in dreams and hallucinations.

Numerous signs and superstitions for the people present at the cemetery are full of secrets that the souls of the dead want to convey to them. Perhaps you saw, while at the burial ceremony of someone close, how the astral body leaves the bodily shell that has become unnecessary. This happens at the moment when the first handful of earth touches the lid of the coffin. According to the sign, the soul takes off either laughing, or crying, grieving.
Based on materials from grimuar.ru, mystic-world.ru, charybary.ru

Cemeteries should be located south of the church; on the north side, only suicides and stillborn babies are buried.

The graves are dug in the direction from east to west, and the coffin with the body is laid with its feet facing east - according to legend, in order to make it easier to rise on Judgment Day.

Even if you don’t believe in omens, you shouldn’t violate the ethics of visiting places of grief... All rituals associated with the dead appeared for a reason and it’s not in vain that people cherish their traditions.

Tradition or not, we are accustomed to carrying food to the cemetery when visiting it. Is it possible to do this and how much food to take to the cemetery?

Entire generations of Belarusians have become accustomed to and follow certain rules for visiting graves that have been established over the past ten, twenty, fifty years. Few of us can explain the meaning and origins of these traditions, but we confidently observe them from year to year and pass them on to new generations.

One of them is the tradition of bringing food to the cemetery. How did she appear in our lives and are we doing everything right? Let's try to answer this question.

So, almost every family, going to the cemetery, takes with them a supply of food. How big is another question, but rarely does anyone in Belarus, or our neighbors in Russia, not take it with them. How do we explain the habit of taking food to the cemetery?

On what occasions did our ancestors bring food to the cemetery?

The most obvious explanation for this can be found in ancient history, when our ancestors honored and remembered the dead with copious libations at the burial site. This ritual was called funeral feast, and the first mentions of him in the Tale of Bygone Years date back to the 10th century AD. e. Currently, the term funeral feast is hopelessly outdated and only in very rare cases is it used as a poetic synonym for the word wake. In addition to mourning (commemoration) of the deceased, this pagan ritual included a lavish feast and war games, often with fatal results. With the advent of Christianity in Rus', the funeral service completely lost its relevance and, although it was not forgotten, it practically disappeared as a rite of mourning.

After the Christianization of Rus' took place, the essence and meaning of funeral rituals changed, although echoes of ancient pagan times have survived to this day. For example, the calendar of the ancient Slavs, in which a week consisted of nine days and a month of forty, was transferred to the countdown of commemorations - 9 days and 40 days, respectively. And yet, the cemetery feast did not exist as a memorial ceremony. Both then and now, believers were instructed to remember the dead primarily with prayers, and not with food, and certainly not with vodka and other alcoholic drinks.

A small exception can be considered the custom that we wrote about earlier. The fact is that for most peasant families in Russia, a trip to the cemetery, especially for Easter services, was a long and unsafe road to the rural church from the surrounding villages. Since the time to return home was late in the evening or even at night, peasants often stayed until the morning in the cemetery, at the grave of close relatives. It was quite logical to use food blessed in the church as food. These could be Easter cakes or eggs laid out on towels.

This tradition has successfully passed on to our time. Today, after the all-night vigil, churches often organize tables with refreshments for both church employees and everyone. First of all, these are elderly people or women who need a hot drink after the Easter service. Let us emphasize this: food is taken after the Easter service, and not during a regular visit to the cemetery.

What happened in the last century? Today it is generally accepted that drunkenness in the cemetery was caused by the inculcation of atheism among the country's population. In other words, the Bolsheviks allegedly proposed replacing the funeral prayer with a funeral feast, and the entire population of the multinational country suddenly agreed with this. It seems that all this is not entirely true. There were most likely several reasons, and they were unlikely to be so radical.

First of all, the population has established a scenario for the most typical visit to a cemetery. Usually people went to graves in the spring or autumn, most often with families. Naturally, after a long break in visits, there was a lot of work: weeding the ground from weeds, planting flowers, cleaning the monument and removing garbage, painting the metal fence, etc. In some cases, several graves were put in order in this way at once. This took a lot of time and effort, hence the quite logical (from the point of view of a Soviet person) desire to take food with you “for a snack.” Well, what’s a snack without a “glass”?

That's actually the whole plot. So far everything looks pretty good. But remember how often at the grave you threw a glass of vodka onto the grave or left it at the head of the grave along with a piece of bread or a sandwich. Understanding the reason for this phenomenon is quite difficult. Most likely, there was a “viral” spread of the supposedly accepted custom of leaving behind treats for the deceased. Perhaps the root of this is also the military tradition of drinking “front-line hundred grams” at the grave of a comrade in arms and throwing the last drops from the flask on it. In the seventies and nineties of the last century, when our veteran grandfathers were still alive, it would hardly have occurred to anyone to make a remark on this matter.

For the generation of the 60s, 70s and 80s, there was no negative attitude towards the tradition of such commemoration, of course, if excesses did not begin. I don’t know how it is in the country as a whole, but in my memory there have been no such cases. And I still wonder why else they offer us to purchase and install benches with tables on the burial plot?

We would not like to use such a statement of facts to contrast the custom of bringing food to the cemetery with the church rules of remembering the dead. Moreover, according to our personal observations, eating and vodka at the cemetery is confidently disappearing from the habits of our compatriots. Personal cars allow us to visit cemeteries more often. This reduces the amount of work at the cemetery and imposes corresponding requirements on drivers. Therefore, a feast at the grave is quite rare today.

Official position of the church regarding food at the cemetery

Let's go back to the beginning. Any Christian church is categorically against eating in a cemetery, especially against drinking alcohol. All that the soul of the deceased needs is your prayers and remembrances in church and at home.

Leaving food and alcoholic beverages at a grave is treated similarly. The reason for this position is simple: the deceased does not need food, since the material body has ceased its biological functioning. The soul on the other side of us no longer requires any material goods for itself, primarily food. Therefore, offerings to the grave from the point of view of the church are nothing more than pagan rituals. Hence the corresponding very sharp negative attitude.

Carry food to the cemetery correctly

Still, I would like to express a few thoughts about when it is appropriate to take food with you when visiting a cemetery. The fact is that there are situations where this is not only possible, but also encouraged. We are talking about alms. This is not a very popular act among us, which, meanwhile, is one of the highest manifestations of spiritual virtue.

If there is a church or chapel on the territory of the cemetery, on weekends you can often meet beggars, “homeless people” or beggars at the entrance. As a rule, these people ask passers-by for money. However, it is foolish to assume that in such a difficult situation they can manage them in any reasonable way (or manage them at all). Therefore, the best way to help them is to give them food. This will at the same time be a manifestation of kindness and love for these unfortunate people and will not be an indulgence in their sins, for example, drunkenness.

This could be food left over from a funeral table, or products purchased at the store. The main thing is to give them with an open heart, sincerely, with the hope that they will benefit the person asking and bring him joy. And then he or she will pray with gratitude for the deceased, and this prayer may bring good to the soul and help it reach the Kingdom of Heaven.

You will find a dining room, cafe or restaurant for organizing a funeral table in the section Holding a wake our portal