How much does it cost to order a memorial service for 9 days? How is the funeral service going? Why do you need a church farewell?

“Nowhere in the world, except Russia, funeral custom and the ritual has not developed to such a deep, one might say, virtuosity, to which it reaches in our country,” wrote K.P. Pobedonostsev. “And there is no doubt that this character of his reflected our national character, with a special worldview inherent in our nature.” Our conversation with the serving priest of the church in the name of St. Demetrius of Thessalonica in Sulazhgora O. Konstantin Savander.

“Since ancient times, special Saturdays have been appointed,” says Fr. Constantine - when all Christians purely prayed for their dead loved ones. Such days began to be called parenting days.

— Why does the Church pray with such care for the departed?

— The Church prays for the repose and forgiveness of the sins of the deceased, hoping for God’s mercy. Although man was a sinner and received God’s reward after death, when the final judgment of humanity takes place, prayers for him will be remembered by God, and he may be pardoned. After death, a person’s soul can no longer change anything; all its hopes are for those remaining on earth. There is a pious legend that on parental Saturdays the souls of even the most inveterate sinners receive consolation and joy.

— What should you do on Parents' Saturday?

— The day before and on Parents’ Saturday itself, you need to come to the Divine Service. Before it begins, submit a note with the names of the deceased, place candles on the funeral table, but most importantly, pray for your loved ones, listening to the words church hymns. The most short prayer: “O Lord, rest the soul of your deceased servant (name), and forgive him all his sins, voluntary and involuntary, and grant him the Kingdom of Heaven.” With this prayer you can light candles and say goodbye to the deceased.

Wanting to somehow help the soul of the deceased, a person who believes not only in parental Saturday, but must always do works of mercy, give alms to poor people for the deceased, light candles, and give notes. People who do not have special means donate food, which is placed on a table located in front of (or behind) the funeral table. You cannot donate vodka or cognac...

In the morning, having attended the service, ordered a memorial service and prayed for the deceased at it, an Orthodox Christian goes to the cemetery to pray for his relatives, remember something good about them, and put things in order at the grave.

— When visiting a cemetery, we involuntarily think about our own death...

— A person must always be prepared for death. We won’t necessarily live a long life; no one knows their lifespan. Many are frightened by thoughts about death... In order not to be afraid, one must not sin, because often a person is afraid to bear responsibility for his evil deeds. We can correct ourselves, repent and change our lives, and then we will not be punished for our sins. We need to confess more often, live a very attentive spiritual life, we need to go to church, because without God’s help it is impossible to be saved. When the hour of death approaches, it is advisable to take unction, confess and receive communion. If a person is seriously ill, a priest is invited to his home.

— What should relatives do after death? loved one?

- Immediately after death you should start reading Psalter, this book is sold in temples and icon shops. Then you need to go to the temple and order funeral litia, agree on funeral service which is best done on the third day. It is advisable that the person be buried in the church, but this can also be done in the funeral hall. Funeral service is performed on the deceased once, but funeral services can be ordered frequently. After the funeral service, the deceased is taken to the cemetery and buried. If the priest has the opportunity, he will perform lithium at the grave. There, after the last farewell to the deceased, the priest concludes rite of burial- three times with the prayer: “Holy God, Holy Mighty, Holy Immortal, have mercy on us,” pours consecrated sand in the form of an Orthodox six-pointed cross over the funeral veil. When there is no priest, any loved one can do this. Usually after the funeral there are wake, or funeral dinner - an almost Lenten meal, preferably without alcohol, when loved ones remember the deceased kindly.

-Who can’t have a funeral service?

— We must realize that the funeral service is performed for a member of the Church, therefore it is useless to perform the funeral service for an unbaptized person. It happens that the relatives of the deceased do not know whether the deceased was baptized or in honor of which saint he was baptized (when a person has a secular, non-church name, for example, Edward). Then, before you go to order a funeral service, you need to try to find out whether the deceased had godparents when he was born (if before the war, then he was probably baptized), whether there was a church in the village where he was born, when this church was closing. In general, such a fact (if it turns out with great certainty that the deceased was baptized after all) is very regrettable - it means that the deceased was a non-church, person of little faith. Relatives must pray hard for the Lord to have mercy on his soul. Funeral services and memorial services are not held for suicides.

— Why are the 3rd, 9th and 40th days especially highlighted?

— The soul of man before 3 days is close to his family, with 3 By Day 9 they show her afterworld, and with 9 days- a particularly difficult period for the soul of the deceased; it goes through ordeals, where it learns all its sins. Finally, on the 40th day, the ordeal ends and the soul is again ascended by the Angels to worship God, who determines its appropriate place in anticipation of the Last Judgment according to its earthly affairs, spiritual state and by the grace of the prayers of the Church and loved ones. During this period (from 9 By 40 day) relatives should pray especially. Again, the Psalter is read, in churches the person’s name is remembered in customized notes. It is highly advisable to serve a memorial service on the 3rd, 9th and 40th days.

— How can you decorate a grave?

- Whatever you want, you just need to try to have a cross on the grave, a symbol of victory over death.

— There are many superstitions associated with funerals and behavior in the cemetery...

- Yes, and many of them seem stupid and funny to me. For example, people throw money into a grave to ransom the deceased. Or they put money, food and various expensive things in the coffin or leave it at the grave. Isn't it better to give them to a poor believer who will pray to God for the repose of the deceased? There is no need to pour vodka on the grave or pour it into a pre-set glass, guided by such an “iron” argument that “the deceased loved vodka.” By doing this you are making the deceased very painful, because he may suffer after death for the sin of drinking wine. Finally, it is pointless to knock on a monument or on a specially placed plaque on the grave in order to inform the deceased that you have come; he will not hear you, his soul is far away. The deceased can be given to know about you only through your fervent prayer to God.

— What to do if the deceased is dreaming?

- So he asks for prayers. But if the deceased, like a ghost, walks around the apartment, scaring the residents, then this evil spirit, under the guise of the deceased, is doing its dirty work. Such dwellings must be illuminated in a special way.

— What can you say to console the loved ones of the deceased?

- Of course, loss dear person- the greatest grief, but you can’t reach despair. Separation is not eternal, future life we will meet. The time that we have left on earth must be used to ensure that our meeting with loved ones, and most importantly, with God, is bright and eternal life is joyful.

Interviewed by Irina Tatarina

About funeral rites based on materials from the Orthodox press

Ecumenical Parents' Saturdays have been established since the first centuries of Christianity. And this was not done by chance: the Holy Church cares not only about those living on this earth, but also about all Orthodox Christians who have passed away from time immemorial.

- Why is it necessary to perform funeral services for the dead?

— According to the traditions of the holy fathers and according to the spiritual practice of the Holy Church, the soul of the deceased without a funeral service has no peace. Therefore, performing the funeral service is very important for her. The entire Church, in the person of priests and worshippers, asks the Lord, by His great mercy, to forgive all the sins of the deceased and to give him a resting place in the abodes of heaven. In the prayer of permission, the priest not only asks for forgiveness of the soul of the deceased, but also prays to the Lord to remove any curse weighing on the soul of the person being interred.

— Why do the Orthodox have such a solemn rite of burial of the dead?

- Because the body is a vessel of the Holy Spirit and loved ones see off not just the corruptible remains, but the relics. It is assumed that any Christian strived to live holy, but, like every person in this life, he sinned. This is what the Church prays for, so that the Lord will forgive the sins of the deceased.

— Why, after the death of a person, is it necessary to celebrate the magpie in church for his repose?

— St. Basil the Great writes that the human soul remains with the body until the third day, and therefore they bury it on the third day after repose. When a coffin with a body is sealed in a church, the soul at that moment leaves the person. After the ninth day she goes through ordeals, or in other words - 20 trials. The soul will be able to go through the ordeal if the person led a righteous and pious lifestyle. Otherwise she will be condemned. Therefore in church it is read magpie of repose, thereby we accompany the soul of a person with prayerful intercession before God.

In former times, Christians, after the death of their neighbor, read for all 40 days Psalter for the dead and every day they took prosphora for the deceased in their church during the liturgy. In this way they provided his soul great help. It is appropriate to note here that there is no higher prayer on earth than the prayer of a priest during the Sacrament of Proskomedia, when he pronounces the name of an Orthodox Christian and takes a particle from the prosphora. Therefore, you need to immediately order a magpie for the repose of your neighbor in the church and submit the name of the deceased for commemoration at Proskomedia. Than in more If the soul of the deceased is commemorated in churches and monasteries, the greater the benefit for it, as well as for the soul of the one who submits for commemoration.

- If the deceased never confessed during his lifetime, did not receive communion, did not fast, will it benefit him if a priest is brought to him after death?

“Deeds without faith are dead.” But the priests perform such a ritual over everyone, since they leave everything to the Judgment and providence of God, to what God wants to do with the soul of a sinner... It happens that we saw only the bad deeds of a person during his life, but did not see when he repented of their actions. And God saw and knows all this, therefore God will deal with this human soul according to His Will.

One day, people from leading party circles approached an archimandrite who served in the Tula region with a request to give communion to his grandfather. This was in the early 60s - during the time of the most severe persecution of the Church, when for secret baptism, communion at home, and even for minor repairs to the temple, people were imprisoned or committed to a mental hospital. Therefore, it is quite possible that this could have been a provocation. But the young people convincingly insisted on going with them, saying that their grandfather was dying and could not die. He was repeatedly placed dead in a coffin and each time, to the horror of those around him, he rose from the coffin, demanding to bring a priest for communion and explaining that as soon as he dies, all those killed and tortured by him come to him, led by three priests whom he shot , and they say to him: “Come back, confess and partake of the Body and Blood of Christ, for we have begged your soul from God.”

The old man’s relatives called the local priest, but when he heard what sins this man was guilty of, he refused to read the prayer of absolution and said: “I cannot give absolution from such sins. Look for a monk...”

After a long conversation, the elder agreed to go to the dying man. Before confession, as required by the rules, the archimandrite asked everyone standing in the room to leave, but the dying man, pointing to young man, who arrived with the elder, said: “Let him stay and hear everything, he needs it...”. “I have never heard a more terrible confession and at the same time more complete,” writes Archimandrite George, “I have never heard in my life.”

After the ardent atheist repented, the elder read a prayer of permission and administered communion to the dying man. Before this one dies an old man, having learned the truth under pain of damnation, bequeathed to his relatives to perform a funeral service for him in the temple and bury him under a wooden cross, and not to erect any monument. That's what they did - they held his funeral service in the church.

— Who should not be buried in Orthodox churches?

— According to the Charter of the Church, it is impossible to commit Orthodox rituals burial and church commemoration of unbaptized people, baptized people, but renounced the faith (heretics), who during their lifetime treated the Church with ridicule, hostility, or, considered Orthodox, were carried away by Eastern religions. Previously, such people were excommunicated from the Church (anathema was proclaimed) - now this is done very rarely, but these people excommunicated themselves from the Church. The Church prays only for those who recognize the Orthodox Church as the true Church.

There is no church funeral service for suicides. Our Church denies this even to people who have made an attempt on the life or property of their neighbors and died from wounds and injuries received as a result of the rebuff. In this case, only soldiers who died on the battlefield are buried. They were sent to defend their Fatherland and they died martyrdom having fulfilled his military duty.

— What is an absentee funeral service? In what cases is it applicable?

— Because of the abundance of chants, the Orthodox rite of transporting souls to another world and bodies to the earth is called funeral service. When it is not performed on the body of the deceased, it is called in absentia. Due to the impoverishment of piety, this type of funeral service is now the most common. But strictly speaking, it is permissible only in cases where the body of the deceased is not available for burial (fires, floods, wars, Act of terrorism). But, as a certain psalm says: “ What you deserved, you got. What is the use of a funeral service when I have not lived for an hour in love and repentance?...»

— What should the relatives and friends of a missing person do if it is not known whether he is alive or not?

- If a person disappeared not so long ago, you need to order prayers to St. Martyr John the Warrior and Archangel Gabriel. They help find missing people, as well as missing things and other property.

— People often erect monuments and lay flowers on roads in places of fatal accidents. Is it correct?

- No, that's not right. On the contrary, this place must be sanctified by inviting a priest. After all, this place was desecrated by murder, the death of a person, that is, demons were present at this place, as a result of which the tragedy occurred.

— People often go to the cemetery on Easter Day. Is it worth following this folk custom?

- Christ rose (that is, came to life) from the dead, trampling death (disgracing, defeating), and giving life to those who were in the tombs (the dead). The time of Easter is a time of life, of resurrection, so on such days none of the Orthodox even think about cemeteries. All in the church Easter week There are no memorial services, but funeral services for those who reposed on these bright days are performed according to a special rite - Easter. Because everyone rejoices in the risen Savior of the world! But when Bright Week ends and Radonitsa comes (as people say - Easter for the departed), only then will we go to the cemetery - to congratulate our deceased relatives with prayer.

— Is it possible to lay wreaths on a grave?

— Wreaths made of artificial flowers, such as paper, cannot be laid. It is better to put one live flower on the grave than many artificial ones. After all, a living flower is a symbol of the general Resurrection, and a paper flower is deadness, a symbol of the fact that the dead will never rise again. Paper wreaths were started by atheists.

Prayer for the deceased - sacred duty of every Christian. A great reward and great consolation awaits the one who, with his prayers, helps a deceased neighbor receive forgiveness of sins. For the All-Good Lord counts this act as righteousness and therefore, first of all, bestows mercy on those who show mercy, and then on the souls towards whom this mercy was shown. Those who remember the departed will be remembered by the Lord, and people will also remember them after they depart from the world.

Based on materials from Orthodox newspapers.

During the days of Great Lent, a time of repentance and prayer, several Saturdays are dedicated to the remembrance of the departed. We must remember our deceased loved ones not only on these days, but constantly. The priest of Alexander Nevsky answers our readers' questions cathedral O. Roman Chadayev.

— What is more important on the day of remembrance of loved ones: visiting a cemetery or celebrating mass in a church?

On the day of remembrance of the deceased, first of all, you need to submit a note at the church for a proskomedia and order a memorial service. If possible, visit the cemetery. Can be arranged funeral meal. It is also customary to do good deeds and give alms on the day of remembrance of the deceased.

—Who can you give alms to and how to do it?

Alms can be given to those who need it. To feed the hungry, to clothe the naked, to visit the sick. This should be done not in public, but “in secret”, so that “ left hand didn’t know what the right one was doing.”

— How often and on what days should you visit graves and what is advisable to do there?

It is advisable to visit cemeteries on the day of death of the deceased, as well as on birthdays, name days (Angel Day), parental Saturdays and Radonitsa. It is necessary to remember the deceased with prayer, to restore order at the grave. There you can ask the priest to serve a memorial service. .

— Why do people stand with candles in their hands at funeral services?

During the funeral service, four candles are placed on the four sides of the coffin, representing a cross. During burial, as well as at memorial services, those present hold candles, thereby symbolizing the Divine light with which a Christian is enlightened in baptism, which serves as a prototype of the future light.

— Do graves need to be decorated?

The best decoration for a Christian grave is a tombstone cross. The custom of placing crosses on the graves of the dead dates back to ancient times. It first appeared around the 3rd century in the East, in Palestine, and came to us along with the faith from Greece.
The grave fence, the tombstone cross, the place itself in the fence must be kept in good order and clean. This care is a natural manifestation in Christians of a sense of respect for the ashes of their ancestors and, in general, their neighbors who died in the faith.

Recorded by Irina Tatarina

Anyone who wants to show their love for the dead and give them real help, can best do this with a prayer for them, and especially when the particles taken for the living and the dead are immersed in the Blood of the Lord with the words: “Wash, O Lord, the sins of those who were remembered here with His honest Blood, with the prayers of Your saints.”(). Write in the shop about the repose of the soul of the deceased (mass, proskomedia and memorial service). Proskomedia is performed before the liturgy, and for each name indicated in the note, particles are taken from the prosphora, which are subsequently lowered into the Chalice with the Blood of Christ with prayer

about the forgiveness of sins remembered - this is very important for the deceased!

It is very good if you yourself attend church services, especially if you confess and receive communion.

We cannot do anything better or more for the departed than to pray for them, remembering them at the Liturgy. They always need this, especially in those forty days when the soul of the deceased follows the path to eternal settlements. The body then feels nothing: it does not see the gathered loved ones, does not smell the smell of flowers, does not hear funeral speeches. But the soul feels the prayers offered for it, is grateful to those who offer them, and is spiritually close to them. Oh, relatives and friends of the deceased! Do for them what is necessary and what is in your power, use your money not for the external decoration of the coffin and grave, but to help those in need(), in memory of their deceased loved ones

, in the Church, where prayers are offered for them. Be merciful to the deceased, take care of their souls. The same one lies in front of you, and how we will then want to be remembered in prayer! Let us ourselves be merciful to the departed. As soon as someone died , call the priest immediately or inform him so that he can read "Prayers for the Exodus of the Soul" , which are supposed to be read over all Orthodox Christians after their death. Try, as far as possible, to. The funeral service should not be elaborately arranged, but it is absolutely necessary that it be complete, without shortening; then think not about your convenience, but about the deceased, with whom you are parting forever. If there are several dead people in the church at the same time, do not refuse if they offer you the funeral service to be common to everyone. It is better for the funeral service to be served simultaneously for two or more deceased, when the prayer of the gathered loved ones will be more fervent, than for several funeral services to be served sequentially and the services, due to lack of time and energy, be shortened, because every word of the prayer for the deceased is similar a drop of water for the thirsty. At once , i.e. daily commemoration at the Liturgy for forty days. Usually in churches where services are performed daily, the deceased who were buried in this way are remembered for forty days or more. But if the funeral service was in a church where there are no daily services, the relatives themselves must take care and order the sorokoust where there is a daily service . It is also good to send a donation in memory of the deceased to monasteries, as well as to Jerusalem, where unceasing prayer is offered in holy places. But the forty-day commemoration must begin immediately after death when the soul especially needs prayer help , and therefore commemoration should begin in the nearest place where there is daily service .(usually monasteries)

Let us take care of those who have gone to the other world before us, so that we can do everything we can for them, remembering that “the blessings of mercy are for these to obtain mercy” (Matthew 5:7).

But our problem is, says Prof. Moscow Theological Academy A.I. Osipov (“The Afterlife of the Soul”), - is that we often limit ourselves to only the external side of commemoration: funeral services, magpies, notes, candles, etc. We want to easily take the fish out of the pond. … If I have a lot of money, I’ll at least send it to all the monasteries, to the churches, to all the priests and mothers! And this is called - I prayed. There's someone there instead of me pray, and at the same time I won’t lift a finger, so that for the sake of my beloved (!) relative, I would at least a little refrain from anger, slander, condemnation, gluttony, etc., force myself to confession and Communion, to reading the Word of God, the Saints Fathers, to help the needy, the sick, etc. We behave like typical pagans, as a result of which all our gifts to monasteries and churches turn out to be fruitless.”

Why is it so important to remember the dead during the Liturgy?

Anyone who wants to show their love for the dead and give them real help can best do this by praying for them, and especially by commemorating them during the Liturgy, when the particles taken for the living and the dead are immersed in the Blood of the Lord (Proskomedia) with the words: Washed , Lord, the sins of those who were remembered here by Your honest Blood, by the prayers of Your saints. The commemoration of the living and the dead at the proskomedia and at the consecration of the Gifts, although not public, in its meaning, power and effectiveness cannot be compared with any other prayerful commemorations: health prayers , funeral memorial services or any other pious deeds in memory of the living and the dead. “It is a great honor to remember someone’s name at the hour when the remembrance of the “Terrible Sacrifice, the Terrible Sacraments” is taking place and the Lord Christ Himself is present,” says St. John Chrysostom. How important this commemoration is during the Liturgy can be seen from the following cases. Even before the glorification (official veneration as a saint) St. Theodosius of Chernigov (1896), Hieromonk Alexy, a famous elder, who had dressed the relics, was tired and, sitting by the relics, dozed off. And suddenly he sees St. in a subtle dream. Theodosius, who told him: “Thank you for your work for me. I also ask you, when you serve the Liturgy, remember my parents,” and gave their names (priest Nikita and Maria). “How can you, saint, ask for my prayers when you yourself stand before Heavenly Throne and serve it to people God's grace? - asked the hieromonk. “Yes, that’s true,” answered St. Theodosius, - but the offering at the Liturgy is stronger
my prayers." At St. Gregory the Theologian we find several examples of the appearance of the dead alive with a request to serve the Liturgy for the repose of the soul or giving thanks for it. One prisoner, whom his wife considered dead and on certain days ordered a commemoration of him during the Liturgy, returned from captivity and told her how on some days he was freed from his chains. After some investigation, it turned out that these were precisely the days when the Liturgy was performed for him.

Church note (memorial)

A church note is a one-time commemoration “On health” or “On repose”, used for commemoration at a proskomedia or litany.

In those families where the traditions of Orthodox piety are respected, there is a commemoration book, a special little book in which the names of the living and the dead are written down for prayerful remembrance. A Christian brings this book to church to submit notes for proskomedia and litany, for prayer services and memorial services; he reads it daily in his home prayers.

Memorial- this is a record in prayerful memory of posterity about the ancestors who lived on earth, which makes the memorial a book that is important for every Christian and forces us to treat it with respect. Memorials are kept clean and tidy, near household icons.

A church note, in essence, is a one-time commemoration and requires the same respect.
A note submitted without an image of a cross, written in sloppy, illegible handwriting, with many names, indicates a lack of understanding of the sacred importance and high purpose of recording the names of the living and deceased for their commemoration.

Meanwhile, memorials and notes, in their own way appearance, and according to their use, can be called liturgical books: after all, the holy cross is depicted on them, they are brought into the altar, and read during the Divine Liturgy before the Holy Throne.

What is the advantage of praying for our family and friends in church?

Home prayer, as a rule, does not have such grace-filled power as general, corporate prayer, that is, the prayer of the Church.
Church prayer is the prayer about which the Lord said: “Truly I also say to you that if two of you agree on earth about anything they ask, it will be done for them by My Father in heaven, for where there are two or three are gathered in my name, there am I in the midst of them" (Matthew 18:19-20).
Believers gather in the temple for joint prayer. God Himself mysteriously dwells in the temple. The temple is the house of God. In the temple, the priests offer the Most Holy Bloodless Sacrifice.
Even in Old Testament times, prayers were accompanied by the sacrifice of animals to cleanse sins and appease God.
In the Church of the New Testament, animal sacrifice does not exist, for “Christ died for our sins” (1 Cor. 15:3). “He is the propitiation for our sins, and not only for ours, but also for the sins of the whole world” (1 John 2:2).
He sacrificed His Most Pure Blood and Flesh for everyone and established at the Last Supper to perform, in remembrance of Him, the offering under the guise of bloodless gifts - bread and wine - His Most Pure Flesh and Blood for the remission of sins, which is performed in churches on the Divine liturgy.
Just as in the Old Testament sacrifices were added to prayers, so now in churches, in addition to prayer, the Most Holy Bloodless Sacrifice is offered - Holy Communion.
Church prayer has special power also because it is offered by a priest specially appointed to perform sacred rites and offer prayers and sacrifices to God for people.
“I have chosen you and appointed you,” says the Savior to His Apostles, “so that... whatever you ask of the Father in My name, He will give you” (John 15:16).
They transferred the rights given from the Lord to the apostles and the responsibilities and powers entrusted to them to the successors they appointed: bishops and presbyters, bequeathing to them the power, the right, and the indispensable duty, first of all... “to make prayers, petitions, supplications, thanksgivings for all people "(1 Tim. 2:1).
That is why the holy Apostle James says to Christians: “If any of you is sick, let him call the elders of the Church, and let them pray over him” (James 5:14).
Saint righteous John Kronstadtsky recalled how he, still a young priest, unknown woman asked to pray for the success of one of her business.
“I don’t know how to pray,” Father John humbly answered.
“Pray,” the woman continued to ask. – I believe that through your prayers the Lord will help me.
Father John, seeing that she had such high hopes for his prayer, became even more embarrassed, again claiming that he did not know how to pray, but the woman said:
- You, father, just pray, I ask you, as best you can, and I believe that the Lord will hear.
Father John began to remember this woman during the liturgy. After some time, the priest met her again, and she said:
“You, father, just prayed for me, and the Lord sent me, through your prayers, what I asked.”
This incident influenced the young priest so much that he understood the power of priestly prayer.

Who should and can be remembered in notes

In notes submitted for commemoration, the names of only those who were baptized in Orthodox Church.
The first note we submit is “On Health.”
The concept of “health” includes not only the health and physical condition of a person, but also his spiritual condition and material well-being. And if we pray for the health of a person who has done a lot of evil, this does not mean that we are praying that he will continue to be in the same state - no, we pray to God that He will change his intentions and internal disorder, made it so that our ill-wisher or even enemy began to be in harmony with God, with the Church, with others.
This note should include everyone to whom we wish health, salvation and prosperity.
The Word of God teaches that everyone needs to pray not only for themselves, but also for others: “pray one another” (James 5:16). The Church is built on this common prayer for each other.
In Imperial Russia, all prayer services began with the name of the Sovereign Emperor, on whose “health” the fate of not only Russia, but also every family, every Orthodox Christian depended. Now we must first write the name of our Patriarch, and after him - the Archpastor, His Grace the Bishop, appointed by God as a spiritual ruler, caring for and offering prayers and sacrifices to the Lord for the flock entrusted to him.
This is what many Christians do, as the Holy Scripture teaches: “First of all, I ask you to make prayers, petitions, supplications, thanksgivings for all people, for kings and for all those in authority, so that we may lead a quiet and serene life in all piety and purity, for this is good and it pleases God our Savior, who wants all people to be saved and to come to the knowledge of the truth" (1 Tim. 2:1-4).
Then the name of your spiritual father is written, the priest who instructs you, takes care of the salvation of your soul, prays to the Lord for you: “Remember your teachers” (Heb. 13:7).
Then write the names of your parents, your name, the names of your family members, loved ones and relatives. Everyone should pray for the health and well-being of their family: “If anyone does not provide for his own, and especially for those at home, he has denied the faith and is worse than an infidel” (1 Tim. 5:8).
For your family and relatives, write down the names of your benefactors. If they have done good to you, then you should wish and pray for good and blessings from the Lord for them, so as not to remain in debt to them: “give everyone their due... Do not remain in debt to anyone except mutual love; For he who loves another has fulfilled the law" (Rom. 13:7-8).
Finally, if you have an ill-wisher, an offender, an envious person or even an enemy, write down his name for prayerful remembrance, according to the commandment of the Lord: “love your enemies, bless those who curse you, do good to those who hate you, and pray for those who use you and persecute you” (Matt. 5:44).
Prayer for enemies, for those at war - great power to end hostility and establish peace. The Savior himself prayed for his enemies. There are many known cases when one of the warring parties wrote the name of his ill-wisher in the health note next to his name - and the hostility stopped, former enemy became a well-wisher.
The second note we submit is “On Repose.” In it we write the names of deceased relatives, acquaintances, teachers, well-wishers, everyone who is dear to us.
Just as we pray for the living, so we must pray for the dead - and not only for our closest relatives, but also for our entire family, for everyone who did us good in earthly life, helped us, taught us.
The dead, although they have departed from us, although they remain flesh in the earth, but in soul with the Lord, have not disappeared, they continue to live a spiritual life invisible to us before the eyes of God, since the Lord Himself says in the Holy Gospel: “God is not God of the dead, but living, for with Him all are alive" (Luke 20:38).
We believe that our deceased relatives, and we often do not know the names of many of them, pray for us, their descendants.
We who live on earth, together with those who have departed from us, constitute one Church, one body, having One Head - the Lord Jesus Christ. “Whether we live, we live for the Lord; whether we die, we die for the Lord: and therefore, whether we live or die, we are always the Lord’s. For for this purpose Christ died, and rose again, and came to life, that he might be Lord both over the dead and over the living” ( Rom. 14:8-9).
Our unity and communication with the dead is especially felt during fervent prayer for them. It produces an extremely deep effect and impression on the soul of the person praying, proving the real communication of the soul of the person praying with the souls of those for whom the prayer is offered.

How the Church commemorates the living and the dead at Proskomedia

How is the offering of the Sacrifice performed in the temple according to our notes?
Preparation for Her begins during the proskomedia.
Proskomedia is a part of the liturgy during which bread and wine are prepared for the sacrament.
Translated from Greek, this word means “bringing” - the ancient Christians themselves brought bread and wine to the temple, necessary for the liturgy.
Proskomedia, symbolizing the birth of Jesus Christ, is performed in the altar secretly for the believers in the church, just as the birth of the Savior took place secretly, unknown to the world.
For proskomedia, five special prosphoras are used.
From the first prosphora, after special prayers, the priest cuts out the middle in the shape of a cube - this part of the prosphora is given the name Lamb. This “lamb” prosphora rests on a paten, a round dish on a stand, symbolizing the manger in which the Savior was born. The lamb prosphora is actually used for Communion.
From the second prosphora, the “Mother of God”, the priest takes out part in honor of Mother of God. This particle is placed on the paten to the left of the Lamb.
From the third prosphora, the “nine-time” prosphora, nine particles are taken out - in honor of the saints: John the Baptist, prophets, apostles, saints, martyrs and saints, unmercenaries, Joachim and Anna, and the saint in whose name the liturgy is celebrated. These removed particles are believed to be right side from the Lamb, three particles in a row.
After this, the clergyman proceeds to the fourth prosphora, from which they take out particles about the living - about the Patriarch, bishops, presbyters and deacons. From the fifth prosphora they take out particles about the deceased - Patriarchs, creators of churches, bishops, priests.
These removed particles are also placed on the paten - first for the living, below - for the dead.
Then the priest removes the particles from the prosphora served by the believers.
At this time, remembrances are read - notes, memorial books, which we submitted to the candle box for the proskomedia.
After reading each name indicated in the note, the clergyman takes out a piece of prosphora, saying: “Remember, Lord, (the name we wrote is indicated).”
These particles, taken out according to our notes, are also placed on the paten along with the particles taken from the liturgical prosphora.
This is the first, invisible by those praying, commemoration of those whose names are written in the notes we submitted.
So, the particles taken out according to our notes lie on the paten, next to the particles taken from special liturgical prosphoras.
This is great Holy place! The particles lying in this order on the paten symbolize the entire Church of Christ.
“At the proskomedia, the entire Church, heavenly and earthly, is figuratively presented gathered around the Lamb who takes away the sins of the world... What a close connection is between the Lord and His saints, between Him and those who live piously on earth and those who die in faith and piety: remember what a close connection between us and the saints and those who died in Christ, and love everyone as members of the Lord and your members - writes the holy righteous John of Kronstadt about the particles taken from the prosphora and placed on the paten - How close to each other are the inhabitants of heaven and the inhabitants of earth, and. Mother of God and all the saints, and all of us, Orthodox Christians, when the divine, universal, heavenly, universal Liturgy is celebrated!
Many believe that the particles offered for the living and the dead are a cleansing sacrifice for our sins.
It's a delusion. One can be cleansed from sin only by repentance, correction of life, mercy, and good deeds.
The particles taken out from the prosphora we serve are not consecrated into the body of the Lord; when they are removed, there is no remembrance of Christ’s suffering: during the ascension of the Holy Lamb, during the proclamation “Holy to Holies,” these particles do not rise for the mysterious elevation to the cross with the flesh of the Savior. These particles are not given in communion with the Flesh of the Savior. Why are they brought? So that through them the believers, whose names are written in our notes, receive grace, sanctification and remission of sins from the cleansing sacrifice offered on the Throne.
A particle taken from our prosphora, reclining near the most pure Body of the Lord, being brought into the chalice, filled with Divine blood, is completely filled with sacred things and spiritual gifts and sends them down to the one whose name is exalted. After all the communicants have partaken of the Holy Mysteries, the deacon places into the chalice the particles of the saints, the living and the dead, reclining on the paten.
This is done so that the saints, in their closest union with God, rejoice in heaven, and the living and the dead, whose names are indicated in the notes, having been washed by the most pure blood of the Son of God, receive remission of sins and eternal life.
This is also evidenced by the words spoken by the priest: “Wash away, O Lord, the sins of those who were remembered here, with Your Honest Blood.”
That is why it is necessary to commemorate the living and the dead in the Church, at the liturgy - after all, it is here that the cleansing of the sins we commit every day takes place through the Blood of Christ.
The sacrifice made by our Lord Jesus Christ on Calvary and offered daily during the liturgy on the Holy Throne is a complete and completely exhaustive payment for our debt to God - and only it, like fire, can burn away all of a person’s sins.

What is a registered note?

In some churches, in addition to the usual notes about health and repose, custom notes are accepted.
A customized mass for health with a prayer differs from a regular commemoration for health in that, in addition to removing a particle from the prosphora (which happens during a regular commemoration), the deacon publicly reads the names of those commemorated in the litanies, and then these names are repeated by the priest before the altar.
But even this is not the end of the commemoration according to the ordered note - after the end of the liturgy, a prayer is offered for them at a prayer service.
The same thing happens at a custom-made mass of repose with a memorial service - and here, after removing the particles with the names of the deceased, the deacon publicly pronounces their names at the litany, then the names are repeated in front of the altar by the clergyman, and then the deceased are remembered at the memorial service, which takes place after the end of the liturgy .
Sorokoust is a prayer service that is performed by the Church daily for forty days. Every day during this period, particles are removed from the prosphora.
“The Sorokousts,” writes St. Simeon of Thessalonica, “are performed in remembrance of the Ascension of the Lord, which occurred on the fortieth day after the resurrection, and with the purpose that he (the deceased), having risen from the grave, ascended to the meeting (that is, to meet - ed. .). Judges, was caught up into the clouds, and so he was always with the Lord."
Sorokousts are ordered not only for repose, but also for health, especially for seriously ill people.
A prayer service is a special divine service in which they ask the Lord, the Mother of God, and the saints to send mercy or thank God for receiving benefits. In the church, prayer services are performed before and after the liturgy, as well as after Matins and Vespers.
Public prayer services are performed on temple holidays, on New Year’s, before the start of the youths’ teaching, at natural disasters, in the invasion of foreigners, during epidemics, during lack of rain, etc.
Other prayer services belong to private worship and are performed at the requests and needs of individual believers. Often during these prayers there is a small blessing of water.
The note for the prayer service begins with an indication of which saint the prayer service is being offered, whether it is for health or repose. Then the names of those for whom the prayer song will be offered are listed.
When you submit a note for the prayer service, tell the minister whether you are ordering a water-blessing prayer service - in this case, a small blessing of water is performed, which is then distributed to the believers - or a regular one, without the blessing of water.
You can order commemoration of the living or deceased for a month, for six months, for a year.
Some churches and monasteries accept notes for eternal remembrance.
If you submitted a registered note, then the names written in the notes are pronounced at prayer shortly after the reading of the Gospel.
At the end of the Gospel, a special (that is, intensified) litany begins - a general cry to God, a threefold “Lord, have mercy!”
The deacon calls: “Recite (that is, let’s say, let’s pray, speak) with all our hearts, and with all our thoughts, recit!”
In two petitions, we strenuously ask the Lord to hear our prayer and have mercy on us: “Lord, Almighty, God of our fathers, pray (that is, pray to You), hear and have mercy. - Have mercy on us, O God...”
All those in the church ask for the Patriarch, for the bishop, for the priestly brotherhood (a parable of the church) and for all “our brethren in Christ,” for the authorities and the army...
The Church prays for mercy (so that the Lord would have mercy on us), for life, peace, health, salvation, visitation (that is, so that the Lord would visit and not leave with His mercies), forgiveness, forgiveness of the sins of the servants of God to the brethren of this holy temple.
In the last petition of the special litany, the deacon strongly calls for prayer for those who bear fruit and do good in this holy and all-honorable temple, those who work (for the temple), those who sing and those who stand before us, expecting great and rich mercies from God.
Those who bear fruit and do good are believers who bring to the temple everything necessary for Divine services (oil, incense, prosphora, etc.), who sacrifice money and things for the splendor of the temple and for the maintenance of those who work in it.
On certain days, the special litany is followed by a special litany for the dead, in which we pray for all our departed fathers and brothers, asking Christ, the immortal King and our God, to forgive them all their sins, voluntary and involuntary, to rest them in the villages of the righteous and, recognizing, that there is no person who has not sinned in his life, we beg the Lord to grant our departed the Kingdom of Heaven, where all the righteous rest.
During the litanies, the deacon pronounces the names of those indicated in the registered note and invokes God’s blessing on them, and the priest reads prayers.
Then the priest says a prayer before the Throne, loudly calling out the names from the notes.
The custom of reading notes with names during special litanies dates back to ancient, apostolic times - “the deacon commemorates diptychs, that is, the memorial of the departed.” Diptychs are two tablets made of paper or parchment, folded like the tablets of Moses. On one of them the names of the living were written for reading during the sacred ceremony, on the other - the names of the deceased.

Why should we pray for the dead?

Our relationships with our neighbors do not end after their death. Death interrupts only visible communication with them. But in the Kingdom of Christ there is no death, and what we call death is the transition from temporary life to eternal life.
Our prayers for the departed are a continuation of our relationships with our neighbors. We, who believe that our departed did not die, also believe that the Most Merciful Lord, through our prayer, will forgive souls who died, although in sins, but with faith and hope of salvation.
The Church is a living organism, in the words of the Apostle Paul, a Body, the Head of which is the Lord Jesus Christ Himself.
Not only believers living on earth belong to the Church, but also those who died in the right faith.
There must be a living, organic unity between the living and the deceased, because in a living organism all members are connected with each other, each performs something for the life of the whole organism.
Our duty is to care for those members of the Church who have ended their earthly existence, and through our prayer to alleviate the condition of the deceased.
Many before death did not have time to receive the sacrament of repentance and holy communion, died unexpectedly or violent death. The deceased can no longer repent themselves or give alms. Only the offering of the Bloodless Sacrifice for them, the prayers of the Church, alms and charity for them can ease their fate after death.
The commemoration of the dead is, first of all, prayer for them - at home, and especially in church, combined with the offering of a bloodless sacrifice at the Divine Liturgy.
“When all the people and the sacred face stand with hands raised, and when a terrible sacrifice is presented, then how can we not pray to God, asking for the dead?” – writes Saint John Chrysostom.
But in addition to praying for the departed, we must show mercy in every possible way and do good deeds, because “alms delivers from death and can cleanse all sin” (Tob. 12:9).
Saint John Chrysostom advises: “Almost dead through alms and good works: for alms serve to deliverance from eternal torment.”
St. Athanasia, having said that “if the souls of the departed are sinners, then for the good deeds of the living in their memory they receive remission of sins from God,” adds: “if they are righteous, then charity for them serves to save the benefactors themselves.”
Therefore, it is necessary that prayer and Bloodless Sacrifice be offered for our departed as often as possible.
Offering a Bloodless Sacrifice for the dead eases their fate, even if they were already in hell, for the Bloodless Gifts brought to the sacrifice are transformed into the Flesh and Blood of Christ, so that He Himself is sacrificed for the sake of our salvation.

How to properly remember the dead

The custom of remembering the dead is already found in the Old Testament Church.
The Apostolic Constitutions mention the commemoration of the dead with particular clarity. In them we find both prayers for the departed during the celebration of the Eucharist, and an indication of the days on which it is especially necessary to remember the departed: the third, ninth, fortieth, annual.
Thus, the commemoration of the departed is an apostolic institution, it is observed throughout the Church, and the liturgy for the departed, the offering of the Bloodless Sacrifice for their salvation, is the most powerful and effective means of asking the departed for the mercy of God.
Church commemoration is performed only for those who were baptized in the Orthodox faith.
Memorial services for suicides, as well as for those not baptized in the Orthodox faith, are not performed. Moreover, these persons cannot be commemorated at the liturgy. The Holy Church offers unceasing prayers for our departed fathers and brothers at every divine service and especially at the liturgy.
But besides this, the Holy Church creates at certain times a special commemoration of all fathers and brothers in faith who have passed away from time immemorial, who have been worthy of Christian death, as well as those who, having been caught sudden death, were not given a farewell afterlife prayers of the Church. The memorial services performed at this time are called ecumenical.
On Meat Saturday, before Cheese Week, on the eve of the remembrance of the Last Judgment, we pray to the Lord that He will show His mercy to all the departed on the day when the Last Judgment comes.
This Saturday the Orthodox Church prays for all those who have died in Orthodox faith, whenever and wherever they lived on earth, whoever they were in their own way social background and position in earthly life.
Prayers are offered for people “from Adam to this day who have fallen asleep in piety and right faith.”
Three Saturdays of Great Lent - Saturdays of the second, third, fourth weeks of Great Lent - were established because during the presanctified liturgy there is no such commemoration as is performed at any other time of the year. In order not to deprive the dead of the saving intercession of the Church, these parental Saturdays were established. During Great Lent, the Church intercedes for the departed, so that the Lord forgives their sins and resurrects them into eternal life.
On Radonitsa - Tuesday of the second week of Easter - the joy of the Resurrection of the Lord is shared with the departed, in the hope of the resurrection of our departed. The Savior Himself descended into hell to preach victory over death and brought from there the souls of the Old Testament righteous. Because of this great spiritual joy, the day of this commemoration is called “Rainbow” or “Radonitsa”.
Trinity Parental Saturday - on this day the Holy Church calls us to commemorate the dead, so that the saving grace of the Holy Spirit cleanses the sins of the souls of all our forefathers, fathers and brothers who have departed from time immemorial and, interceding for the gathering of all into the Kingdom of Christ, praying for the redemption of the living, for the return captivity of their souls, asks “to rest the souls of those who departed first in a place of cooling, for it is not in the dead that they will praise You, Lord, those who exist below in hell dare to bring you confessions: but we, the living, bless You and pray, and we bring cleansing prayers and sacrifices to You for the souls ours."
Dimitrievskaya Parental Saturday - on this day, commemoration is made of all Orthodox slain soldiers. It was established by the holy noble prince Dimitri Donskoy by inspiration and blessing St. Sergius Radonezh in 1380, when he won a glorious, famous victory over the Tatars on the Kulikovo Field. The commemoration takes place on the Saturday before Demetrius Day (October 26, old style). Subsequently, on this Saturday, Orthodox Christians began to commemorate not only the soldiers who laid down their lives on the battlefield for their faith and fatherland, but along with them, for all Orthodox Christians.
The commemoration of deceased soldiers is performed by the Orthodox Church on April 26 (May 9, new style), on the holiday of victory over Nazi Germany, as well as on August 29, the day of the Beheading of John the Baptist.
It is imperative to remember the deceased on the day of his death, birth and name day.
Days of remembrance must be spent decorously, reverently, in prayer, doing good to the poor and loved ones, in thinking about our death and future life.
The rules for submitting notes “On repose” are the same as notes “On health”.
“At litanies, the newly departed or significant builders of the monastery are remembered more, and then no more than one or two names. But the proskomedia is the most important commemoration, for the parts taken out for the departed are immersed in the blood of Christ and their sins are cleansed great sacrifice; and when there is a memory of one of your relatives, you can submit a note and commemorate the litanies,” wrote the Monk Macarius of Optina in one of his letters.

How often should reminder notes be given?

The prayer of the Church and the Most Holy Sacrifice attract the mercy of the Lord to us, purifying and saving us.
We always, both during life and after death, need God's mercy towards us.
Therefore, it is necessary to be rewarded with the prayers of the Church and the offering of the sacrifice of the Holy Gifts for us or our loved ones, living and deceased, as often as possible, and necessarily on those days that have special meaning: on birthdays, baptism days, name days of both one’s own and members of your family.
Honoring the memory of the saint whose name we bear, we thereby call on our patron to pray and intercede before God, because, as the Holy Scripture says, the intense prayer of a righteous person can accomplish much (James 5:16).
It is imperative to submit a note of remembrance on your child’s birthdays and baptisms.
Mothers must carefully monitor this, because caring for the child is their sacred duty.
Whether sin attracts us to itself, whether some passion takes possession of us, whether the devil tempts us, whether despair or inconsolable sorrow befalls us, whether trouble, need, illness have visited us - in such cases, the prayer of the Church with the offering of the Bloodless Sacrifice serves as the surest means of deliverance, strengthening and consolation.

A memorial service is a short service during which we remember the departed and ask God for forgiveness of their sins and peace in the Kingdom of Heaven.

We say goodbye to a person once, and the funeral service is performed only once, but the need for prayer for those who are dear to us remains for the rest of our lives.

This is what a memorial service is for. This service has a comforting content for us who live here, and for the dead it has spiritual benefits.

A memorial service can be celebrated by a priest in a church or at a grave, in an appropriate place. There is also an option for a very short funeral service - lithium. Anyone can read it at home or at the grave.

A memorial service, as a rule, takes place on the day of death or one of the nearest days, then on the 9th and 40th days after death. In the future, a memorial service can be served on the anniversary of death, birthday, or name day of the deceased. But, in general. The memorial service can be performed every day, and more than once.

In addition, during the church year, special funeral services are performed several times - parastases, when all deceased Christians are remembered. They are performed on days of special remembrance of the dead - Parental Saturdays and Ecumenical Parental Saturdays.

At the same time, it is important to remember and understand that the main commemoration of the departed occurs at the Divine Liturgy: in the altar, the notes given by us with the names of deceased loved ones are read by the priest, taking out particles from the prosphora. And at the end of the Divine Liturgy, these particles are immersed in the blood of Christ with the words “wash away, Lord, the sins of all those remembered here.”

This remembrance in the Church is, of course, the most important. It is good and proper to order and serve litias and memorial services for the departed. You can compare this to how you need to wash your hands when you come home, but this is not enough; sooner or later you need to go to the shower or to the bathhouse. Thus, the crown and meaning of everything that happens in the Church is the sacrament of the Divine Eucharist, the liturgy, when we remember the living and the dead, when we partake of the Body and Blood of Christ.

How long does the funeral service last?

There are two types of funeral services: a longer memorial service and a short litiya, which is also often called a memorial service.

Lithium lasts about 5-7 minutes. It can be read by any believer at home or in a cemetery.

It begins with the words “with the spirits of the righteous who have passed away,” literally 4 small hymns are sung, then the litany “Have mercy on us, O God,” the prayer “God of spirits” is read, and after that the kontakion “Rest with the saints” is taken from the requiem, sometimes even the ikos “He is one” is omitted Thou art Immortal." We sing “Rest with the Saints,” and this ends the lithium.

If people want to pray more, there is rite of requiem, which lasts about 20 minutes.

It begins with the hymn “The Trisagion” and the 90th Psalm, then the litany for the deceased, troparia, other hymns, the canon, the hymn “With the Spirits of the Righteous” and dismissal are read. This is the most complete funeral service, which people often ask to serve in a temple or cemetery.

Before the funeral service on the 9th or 40th day, as a rule, they prepare kutia, a treat that is traditional in Orthodox countries may vary slightly. In our country it is often rice with honey and dried fruits; in southern countries it can be wheat with sweets. This dish is then treated to family and friends.

The priest sanctifies the cutia in the church after the funeral service with a special prayer, the meaning of which is a request to bless this offering for the sake of the person for whom it was brought. “Forgive him his sins, be merciful to this man!” When this kutia is distributed to believers, they say approximately the following words to God: “Remember, Lord, forgive him his voluntary and involuntary sins.” That is, they pray briefly and receive some sweetness for it. This is how the funeral service is performed.

When is a memorial service ordered?

Priest John Zakharov, rector of the Church of the Intercession Holy Mother of God at the Russian Children's Clinical Hospital, Moscow

A memorial service is ordered when they want to remember their deceased in a special way. Usually this is the day of death, the 9th and 40th day, the birthday. Much depends on what kind of relationship a person has with the priest who serves in the temple: whether they know you and your family. In this case, you can call the priest and negotiate with him directly.

If you don’t have a confessor, don’t have a priest you know to whom you can turn, talk, serve a memorial service together, then you need to go to the church that day, write a note for the memorial service, and give it to the candle box. Then, in the near future, when the priest has the opportunity, he will serve a memorial service. Be sure to check exactly when. It is important not only to “order” a memorial service, but also to attend it.

In many churches, memorial services are held on Sunday after the liturgy.

Memorial service for 9 days

Priest Alexey Zabelin, teacher at the Moscow Theological Academy, Russian Orthodox University, Sretensky Theological Seminary, cleric of the Church of the Annunciation of the Blessed Virgin Mary in Fedosino, Moscow

For Christians, some days after the day of death are very important: the third, ninth, fortieth. Traditionally, on the 9th day, just as on the 40th, a memorial service is celebrated. In principle, it can be performed daily for 40 days. I know that some ask the priest to serve not a short litany, but a memorial service. And they themselves come specifically to it, agree with the priest about the time.

Day 9 is important milestone, when a wound that has not yet healed can be touched by the words of consolation offered by the Church. In prayer, talk with God about the deceased. That's why day 9 is so important. Usually, relatives gather in a small circle on the 9th day, but already on the 40th day they also serve a memorial service and arrange a general large wake.

Memorial service for 40 days

Priest Alexander Savin, cleric of the Church of the Holy Blessed Tsarevich Demetrius, Moscow

What is a memorial service? This is a funeral service at which they prayerfully remember the deceased and ask God to forgive their sins and grant them blessed eternal life.

What does the 40th day mean? Christians come to church on the fortieth day after the death of their loved one to pray for him. On the 40th day, it is determined where the soul of the deceased will remain until the Second Coming of the Lord to earth. Of course, the newly deceased really needs on this day the prayers of those to whom he is dear. That is why, on the 40th day, loved ones try to order a memorial service and pray for the deceased at it.

It should be noted that the remembrance of the dead is performed not only at the memorial service. Even more important is the prayer of the priest in the altar, during the liturgy. To do this, we submit a note of repose. When the priest commemorates Orthodox Christians at the proskomedia for health and repose, pieces are taken out of the prosphora, and at the end of the liturgy they are immersed in the Chalice with the prayer “Wash, Lord, the sins of all those remembered here, with Thy Honest Blood through the prayers of Thy saints.”

Also, by the 40th day after the death of a loved one, believers try to prepare for confession and communion. And if in his earthly life the deceased received communion, then his relatives and friends, by receiving communion, are united with him in Christ.

Memorial service for Radonitsa

Priest Philip Ilyashenko, Vice-Rector for Social and Missionary Work of Orthodox St. Tikhon's humanitarian university(PSTGU), candidate of historical sciences, Moscow

During the Easter period, the first 7 astronomical days, the church day of Easter continues and no memorial services or cemetery memorials are performed. This does not mean that the Church forgets the departed. This means that the Church triumphs in the risen Christ, because there is no death. On Radonitsa, that is, on Tuesday after Bright Week, on the 9th day after the start of Easter celebrations, a special service of remembrance of the dead is performed. During the services of this day a memorial service is performed.

In this Easter requiem or funeral service, which is performed on Easter, we begin to pray by singing the Easter troparion “Christ is risen from the dead, trampling down death by death (that is, He, having died, conquered death) and those who are in the tombs (that is, those who died , to our departed) life (that is, life) bestowed.” With this we begin the Easter memorial service. Radonitsa is imbued with this spirit of Easter celebration: they died, and we suffered and were tormented: what about our deceased, where are they? And the Lord gave them life, He conquered death. The deceased have passed this barrier, which we also face, but death has no power over them. What awaits us there is not eternity like a dark pit filled with earth, not decay and decay, there are saints there.

Different temples have their own traditions. In our church we serve a memorial service for Radonitsa before the liturgy, as on any other days of special remembrance of the dead. It is logical and natural to go from less to more, and the highest opportunity to remember the deceased is liturgical commemoration. We write notes once, and the deceased are remembered first at a memorial service, and then at the altar during the liturgy.

Memorial service for Easter

In the Nomocanon, the main canonical collection of the Orthodox Church, published in 883 and revised in the 13th century in Russia, canon 169 states: “In the twelve days (i.e., 12 days from the Nativity of Christ to the Epiphany), in the first week of Pentecost and in Great There are no commemorations during (Holy) Week, on Bright Week, and on great holidays, but the rest are commemorated throughout the summer.” This rule prohibits public commemoration, which also means the celebration of only a memorial service or litia in the Church. Thus, on Easter itself, when the Church glorifies the Risen Lord, testifying with His Resurrection victory over death, memorial services are not performed. On this day, according to the Creed, we hope for the general Resurrection and the life of the next century, and do not grieve for the dead. Nevertheless, the Church never abandons the commemoration of the dead, which is performed at the proskomedia on the days when the Divine Liturgy is celebrated.

To whom and when can I order a memorial service?

You can order a memorial service in any temple and at any time when this temple is open. And if possible, we should attend the funeral service and participate in prayer. To do this, you need to check with the candle maker when the priest will perform the funeral service, and come at that time. A memorial service can be ordered at any time Orthodox Christian, a relative, a friend, or maybe someone who is dear to us due to various circumstances. For example, many people remember Elizaveta Glinka without knowing her personally. But a memorial service - a church service - is performed only for members of the Church, for those who were united to Christ in the sacrament of Baptism and tried to live like a Christian. Who did not consciously renounce God and did not go into a schism or sect.

Is it possible to order a memorial service for an unbaptized person?

If a person died unbaptized and you are worried about his posthumous fate, you want to pray for him in church, then you can do this: light a candle, in your own words silently ask the Lord to forgive his sins. But the Church, as the one Body of Christ, does not pray for those who, for one reason or another, have not become part of it. This is why it is impossible to order a memorial service for an unbaptized person.

As well as writing his name into the funeral notes.

It is important to understand that this does not mean that unbaptized people all go to hell. We believe in God's mercy. We turn to God in any situation, we ask for the prayers of our believing friends and priests. In prayerful memory of an unbaptized relative, we distribute his things, give alms on our own, donate to good deeds. All this is no less important than the funeral service.

If the question is whether an unbaptized person can come to church and submit a note about a loved one, then this can and should be done. In any case, I cannot help but remind you of the opportunity to come to the temple and talk with the priest in person.

Is it possible to order a memorial service for Radonitsa?

Priest Mikhail Senin, rector of the Church of the Annunciation of the Blessed Virgin Mary. Polivanovo, Moscow

You can and should order a memorial service for Radonitsa. Radonitsa is a day of special remembrance of the dead and is always the ninth day after Easter, Tuesday.

On this day, deceased relatives and friends are especially remembered during the service.

And after the liturgy, many believers go to the cemetery to share the joy of Easter with the departed because with God everyone is alive: “He is not the God of the dead, but of the living” (Matthew 22 :32) and try to invite a priest to the grave to perform a requiem service for them.

Is it possible to order a memorial service for Easter?

Hieromonk Dimitri (Pershin), Deputy Chairman of the Brotherhood of Orthodox Pathfinders, Chief Editor TV company "Sretenie", cleric of Krutitsky Patriarchal Metochion Moscow

It is impossible to order a memorial service for Easter. On Easter, funeral services are not performed, except in cases where a person died during Bright Week, on Easter days. Then the funeral service is performed according to a special Easter rite.

In these special days In the life of the Church, we rejoice in the Resurrection of Christ, who conquered death. A memorial service can be ordered for any day, starting from Radonitsa. And if 9 or 40 days from the date of death fall during this period, a memorial service is still not performed. Death these days is considered a special blessing from God. For our departed ones, it is important that these days we find the opportunity to be in church, being in communion with the Risen Lord, who conquered death.

Is it possible to order a memorial service in advance?

Yes, a memorial service can be ordered in advance by agreeing with the priest or submitting a note for the memorial service behind the candle box.

In some churches, especially rural ones, services are performed only on Sundays and holidays. Accordingly, such requirements as a memorial service or prayer service are performed only on these days. And if the day of remembrance of the deceased (9 days, 40 days or anniversary) falls in the middle of the week, then the memorial service is ordered on Sunday or on the nearest holiday service.

Of course, a lot depends on whether you have contact with the priest of the temple where you are going to order a memorial service. Of course, it is better to come in advance and personally tell him about your loved one, so that a convenient time can be set for joint prayer at the funeral service. It is important to understand that the ritual itself, without our personal participation in it, does not benefit either us or the soul of the deceased.

Memorial services are served not only in the church; the priest can serve in the cemetery or at home with the relatives of the deceased. But most often such a commemoration is ordered in the church, so that after the liturgy everyone can pray for the deceased.

Is it possible to serve a memorial service on Sunday?

Archpriest Alexander Chikirov, rector of the Church of the Intercession of the Blessed Virgin Mary in the village of Mordovian Pimbur, Zubovo-Polyansky district, Republic of Mordovia

A memorial service can be served on almost any Sunday. The exceptions are the holidays of Christmas and Easter. According to the church charter, memorial services are not celebrated from Christmas to Epiphany, in the first week of Great Lent, from Lazarus Saturday to Radonitsa (i.e. from the Saturday before Palm Sunday and until 9 days after Easter).

The funeral service is celebrated by a priest. This funeral service consists of prayers for the forgiveness of the sins of the deceased and the granting of eternal life in the Kingdom of Heaven. During the service of memorial services, everyone who prays for the deceased usually holds lighted candles in their hands.

It is customary to perform memorial services both before the burial of the deceased and after - on the 3rd, 9th, 40th day after death, on his birthday, name day (the day of remembrance of the saint after whom the person is named), on the anniversary of death. But you can order a memorial service, and also submit notes for remembrance at the altar during the liturgy and on other days. Of course, the personal participation of those who love the deceased in such prayer is very important.

It is advisable to talk to the priest in person and tell about the deceased. If it is not possible to serve a memorial service, you can ask him to perform a lithium. Litiya is another type of church commemoration of the deceased, somewhat shorter than a memorial service. Not only a priest, but also a deacon, and even a layman can serve the lithium.

How do you order a memorial service for the deceased?

Priest Boris Osipov, cleric of the Church of the Life-Giving Trinity at the Research Institute of Emergency Medicine named after. N.V. Sklifosovsky, Moscow

A memorial service is a long prayer for the deceased. It is performed in a church by a priest or several priests at the request of believers and, as a rule, in relation to people known to the entire parish, church members, and parishioners. Much more often, lithium is performed - a short prayer for the deceased, approximately 5-7 minutes. It is served in most cases when people who come to the temple want to pray for their deceased relatives.

A memorial service can be served immediately after the service, but on special occasions and on dates that are associated with these people (death day, birthday, Angel day). The duration of the funeral service is 20–30 minutes.

But the most important thing is to submit notes about the deceased at the Divine Liturgy (at the proskomedia), so that the remembrance of the deceased takes place at the altar. Possible in memorable date the deceased (his birthday, death day or in memory of his saint) come to the temple in the morning and submit such a note. You can even indicate that today is his special day, and the priest will pray for such a person several times during the liturgy.

There are universal memorial services - these are special kind funeral services, when the Church prays for all deceased Christians. They happen several times a year on Parents' Saturdays. During this service, the Psalter, the 17th kathisma is read, and all deceased relatives are remembered.

Memorial service in the temple

Priest Andrei Missyura, cleric of the Church of the Intercession of the Most Holy Theotokos of New Sinai monastery, Sunzha, Republic of Ingushetia, Makhachkala and Grozny diocese

A memorial service can take place either in a cemetery or in a church. You can make arrangements with the priest on your important day. It is important to remember that there is church calendar days of special remembrance of the dead, when a memorial service is always served:

Trinity Parents' Saturday,

Meat Saturday (the week before the start of Lent),

– 2nd, 3rd, 4th Saturdays of Great Lent,

Radonitsa,

Dimitrievskaya parent's Saturday,

On the eve of these days, according to tradition, a parastas (great memorial service) is served, and on the very day of remembrance, after the Divine Liturgy, a memorial service is celebrated. Also, prayerful commemoration at a memorial service for a specific person can be performed in a church on the anniversary of his death or birthday.

Memorial service at the cemetery

Priest Andrey Missyura, cleric of the Church of the Intercession of the Most Holy Theotokos, New Sinai Monastery, Sunzha, Republic of Ingushetia, Makhachkala and Grozny diocese

A memorial service in a cemetery refers to a private commemoration of the deceased and is usually performed on memorable days associated with the deceased (birthday, Angel day, death day), but especially in the first forty days after death. In this number of days, the Church finds sufficient time for cleansing from sins and propitiating God (Gen. 7 :12; a lion 12 :1-4; Number 14 :31–34; Matt 4 :2). In addition, of these forty days, the third day is especially dedicated to prayer for the departed - in memory of the Savior who rose on this day, the ninth - according to the pious desire of the Church, that the spirit of the deceased be numbered among the nine ranks of angels, and the fortieth - according to the Old Testament example of the mourning of Moses by the Israelites in lasting forty days and as this day approaches the day of the Ascension of the Lord.

Priest John Kokhanov, cleric of the Church of the Icon of the Mother of God “The Sign” in Kuntsevo, Moscow

The word "requiem" Greek origin and means "all-night vigil". The tradition of serving a memorial service comes from the prayers that Christians performed at the tombs of the first martyrs for the faith. A detailed commentary on the memorial service can be found in the “Handbook for the Clergyman.” If we explain the main features, then we can describe the memorial service this way.

The funeral service begins with the usual exclamation: “Blessed is our God always, now and ever, and unto ages of ages.” Then we read Psalm 90: “He who lives in the help of the Most High...” The text of this prayer, written many centuries ago, describes the joy of a truly believing soul’s transition into the Kingdom of Heaven. There are a lot of symbols here, and you shouldn't imagine literal lions, adders and dragons. Rather, these are images of the ordeal of the soul on the final path.

How often do I need to order a memorial service and attend it? In the first days after death - as often as possible. Since funerals traditionally take place on the third day, a memorial service on this day is often replaced by a funeral service. It is important to come to the temple and pray at a memorial service for the deceased on the ninth and fortieth day from the day of death, since at this time that special period of testing continues when the location of the soul of the deceased is determined until the Last Judgment, until the second coming of the Savior.

Christians especially honor the day of the Angel (the day of remembrance of the saint in whose honor the deceased was named) and the day of death. On birthdays or Angel's Day, we pray for the departed because we remember and love them. And if during our lives we prayed for the health of our loved ones, then after their death we ask God for their salvation. On the day of death, it is also good to order a memorial service and pray in a temple or at the grave for the deceased, since this day for us is the day of a person’s second birth for heaven.

Ceremony of requiem

“Chin” means the text of the memorial service itself, short for “rite.”

A memorial service is a special ceremony of prayers for the deceased. We ask that God forgive the sins of the departed, grant them the Kingdom of Heaven, and abiding in it with Christ and all the saints. Of course, you can look at the text of the memorial service in advance to clarify for yourself unclear words, it is not forbidden to follow the text on the phone. All this is allowed, tolerated and welcomed. A memorial service is usually served on parental Saturdays, on days of remembrance (day of death, 40 days after death, six months, anniversary) at the request of relatives.

What to bring to church for a funeral service

Archpriest Gennady Ursov, rector of the Church of the Archangel Michael. Shiringushi of the Krasnoslobodsk diocese of the Mordovian Metropolis

There are no strict church regulations on this matter. The main thing we must bring to the temple is our prayer and the need for communication with God. The inability to buy food or donate something should not be an obstacle to prayer, either at a memorial service or any other service.

Is it possible to have breakfast before the funeral service?

Archpriest Alexy Spassky, cleric of the Church of the Holy Blessed Tsarevich Demetrius, responsible for the Church of the Icon of the Mother of God “Merciful” at the Morozov Children’s Hospital in Moscow

Of course, you can have breakfast before the funeral service. Usually we do not eat only before Communion, which is celebrated during the liturgy.

Any feat is allowed if a person can do it. If you are planning to go to the temple and want to avoid eating beforehand, you can do so. After all, fasting is also a gift to God from us.

The death of a loved one is grief and heartache for relatives. According to the Christian religion, the fortieth day is the most important. At this time, the soul finally leaves the earth and finds itself at the court of God, where its further fate is decided. Help the soul of a loved one find peace in the next world with a wake and sincere prayers.

How to remember 40 days after death - visiting the grave

On the fortieth day, go to the grave of the deceased person to say goodbye to him. This is an obligatory part of the funeral ritual. Rules for visiting the cemetery:

• remove wreaths placed on the grave after the funeral. Burn or take to the trash container;
• place a pair of flowers on the grave;
• light a candle or lamp;
• pray for the soul of the deceased, then be silent and remember all the good moments from his life.

You cannot have a meal at the cemetery on the 40th day with alcohol and noisy conversations. Organize a funeral dinner at home or in a cafe. Do not place a glass of vodka on the grave and do not pour alcohol there. Sweets and cookies are often placed on the grave. This is voluntary, but it is best to replace sweets with a plate of kutya, which you leave near the grave. Distribute cookies with sweets to those present at the cemetery and to the poor. Do not have noisy conversations, everything should go calmly and peacefully.

How to remember 40 days after death - visiting a temple

On the fortieth day, be sure to go to church and order a memorial service. This is the most best help the soul of a deceased relative. Please note that a memorial service is ordered only for a deceased person who was baptized. Rules for commemoration in church:

• Prepare food at home that you will place on the funeral table in the temple. This is almsgiving in honor of the deceased. Among the products you can carry cookies, sweets, flour, sugar and various cereals, fruits, vegetable oil and red wine. Don’t even think about carrying sausage and other meat products;
• write the name of the deceased in the note “On repose.” Notes are given out at the church shop. Under his name, write the names of other deceased baptized relatives and friends;
• give the note to the church shop;
• Light a candle for the deceased. At the moment of its installation, pray for him and ask the Lord to forgive all his sins;
• do not leave the church when the priest is serving a memorial service. Stand with the candle until it runs out and pray from the bottom of your heart for your deceased relative.

You can order a memorial service at the cemetery. Discuss in advance with the priest in the temple when it will be held. It’s good if after the funeral you immediately order magpie from the church. They will pray for the deceased from the day of his death until the fortieth day.

How to remember 40 days after death - memorial dinner

The purpose of the memorial dinner on the 40th day is to remember the deceased person and pray for his repose. Call all the people to whom the deceased was dear. Don't try to prepare a lot of delicacies. Give preference to simple dishes. At the funeral dinner it is forbidden to sing songs, have fun and drink a lot of alcohol. Vodka is inappropriate here, put it on table light wine. Rules for organizing a funeral dinner:

• organize a wake on the 40th day at home or in a cafe;
• be sure to put on the table kutya made from rice or millet, rich pancakes and kanun - small cookies spread with honey on top;
• prepare pies with different fillings;
• include in the funeral dinner menu fish dishes, noodle soup, stuffed peppers, cutlets, goulash, Olivier salad or herring “under a fur coat”, as well as various vegetable salads. The cafe will offer you a funeral menu;
• Before starting lunch, read the Lord's Prayer.

The main thing in a wake is not a discussion of the deceased and other people at the table, but the unification of those people who can remember the deceased person with a good word.

How to remember 40 days after death - what to give to people

On the 40th day, give people candies, cookies and pies to remember the deceased. Go through the deceased's belongings and distribute them to people in need. Ask them to pray for the soul of the deceased. This is your personal business, you can leave the things that are dear to you. If there are things left that no one needs, take them to the temple, where they will be given to the poor. But, under no circumstances throw anything away.

Don’t forget about the dead and then pray for them, light candles for their repose in the church, show mercy to your neighbors, clean the grave. The good memory of a person who has passed on to another world will remain in your heart forever.