Brief rules of behavior at the table. Table manners: table etiquette

Table manners:

1. Start eating after the invited colleague or the main person, the mistress of the house, has done so.

2. Do not swing, spread, or place your elbows on the table while eating. You can place your elbows on the table if the music is loud and you need to be heard by your interlocutor.

3. Do not wave the napkin, but place it on your lap with the fold facing you. Do not tuck the napkin into your collar, or between shirt buttons, or the waistband of your trousers. Never use a napkin as a handkerchief. If you leave the table, place the napkin on the chair; when you finished eating - on the table, to the left of the cutlery.

4. Don’t slump in your chair, sit straight, keep your elbows off the table longer, if you don’t know where to put your hands, put them on your knees.

5. Chew with closed mouth, do not talk while you chew.

6. Don't put too much food in, chew your food thoroughly.

7. Don't spit anything into your palm.

8. The plate located to the left of the main one is for bread; the butter must first be placed on the bread plate, and not directly from the common one onto your piece.

9. Break off bread and rolls. Nothing can be dunked anywhere. There is no need to smear the sauce from the plate with bread.

10. Do not take anything with your hands except bread.

11. Do not blow on hot food or drinks or sip. Quickly wash down hot food with water. If there is no water, quickly and discreetly remove the hot piece from your mouth with your fingers or spit it onto your fork, and then place it on the edge of the plate.

12. If you come across poor quality food, do not swallow it, but remove it from your mouth quickly and discreetly. Don't spit into a napkin.

13. After finishing your meal, do not move the plate away from you, simply place the cutlery parallel to the plate, the fork with the tines down, the knife with the convex side facing the fork, and the napkin to the left of the plate, without straightening it. It is allowed to place the fork and knife crosswise on the plate.

14. Place the briefcase on the floor, hang the bag on the back of the chair, to your left. Never place papers on the table, hold them in your hands.

15. While eating, do not look at your partners for a long time or point-blank.

16. Even if the meal takes place in a part of the restaurant where smoking is allowed, it is better to refrain from smoking. If you can, be sure to wait until everyone is finished. Never use the saucer as an ashtray.

17. If you spill something on yourself or on the tablecloth, do not dramatize the situation. No need to jump away from the table. Place a napkin on the flooded area of ​​the table, and blot your clothes with the napkin too. You can ask the waiter to bring more napkins.

18. If you splashed your neighbor, you need to quietly apologize and offer to pay for the cleaning. There is no need to try to wipe your neighbor with anything, just offer your napkin.

19. If you drop solid food, you should use a spoon or the tip of your knife to pick up a piece from the tablecloth.

20. If someone leaves the table, don’t ask “where?” If you go out on your own, apologize.

21. Operate devices using your fingers, not your hand. Eat at a medium pace. The art is to start and end with everyone together.

22. Apply butter only to the piece of bread you put in your mouth.

23. Avoid looking around at those sitting at neighboring tables, develop peripheral vision.

24. It is not customary to talk about health, good or bad, at the table. If you need to take a pill, take it, there is no need to explain why or why.

25. Come to the feast at exactly the appointed hour. The man must make the woman sit down, moving the chair back and forth accordingly, sit to her LEFT, and if the table is small, opposite.

26. The biggest mistake is picking your teeth with a fork and eating with a knife.

27. How to sit at the table correctly

The correct posture to take at the table means that you need to sit straight, not hunched over, but not as if you “swallowed a yardstick,” but slightly leaning back in the chair. Hands, when they are not occupied with a knife and fork, can be placed on your knees - this will help get rid of the bad habit of rolling bread balls, drawing on the tablecloth with a knife, aimlessly moving plates and cutlery around the table. Well, if you are such a restless person, you can put your hands on the edge of the table, but not your elbows - this way you will feel less constrained. Try not to hold your hands to your face or twist or touch your hair.

Although we have heard “don’t put your elbows on the table” since childhood, there are times when this is not only acceptable, but simply necessary. For example, in a restaurant, it sounds loud music, drowning out your words and in order for the interlocutor to hear you, you have to move your whole body towards him. This movement - especially when we're talking about about a woman - it will look much more graceful if you lean your elbows on the table rather than your palms on your knees, as if you suddenly felt severe pain. But at home, where there is no need to lean towards your interlocutor in order to say something loudly to him across the table, you should not lean your elbows on the table. At a formal dinner, as in a restaurant, you can rest your elbows on the table and lean forward to talk to the person sitting opposite you. However, even in such special situations, elbows are never placed on the table while eating.

A person slouching and lounging on a chair, or swaying on it, looks very ugly - the latter is not only considered a flagrant violation of the rules good manners, but also creates a serious threat to the legs of the chair.

28. Napkin

Normally, when you sit down at the table, you unwrap your napkin and place it on your lap, but at a formal dinner, it is customary to wait for the hostess to do this first. There is no special wisdom in how to unfold a napkin - just don’t do it with a sharp movement. Taking a napkin from the table, you carefully place it on your lap. If the size of the napkin allows, you can even secure it somehow so that it does not slip onto the floor. If not, just unfold it as far as you see fit with both hands.

A man should never tuck a napkin into his collar, between the buttons of his shirt, or into the waistband of his trousers.

When using a napkin, do not wipe your mouth with it, but blot your lips a little - this looks much more attractive.

If you have already finished eating or need to get up from the table, place the napkin to your left, and when the plates are cleared - in front of you. It should not be folded again or crumpled - let it lie freely, without taking up too much space. At a dinner party, the hostess, as a sign that the meal is over, places her napkin on the table, and the guests do the same, but only after the hostess, and not before.

If your family uses napkin rings, the napkin should be folded again and threaded through the ring to be used one or two more times.

29. When you serve yourself and when you are served

When transferring food to your plate, you need to be careful and hold the serving spoon or fork so as not to drop what you take on the tablecloth, on the floor, on yourself or on a neighbor.

All foods served on pieces of toasted bread (toast), except for fried pigeons and quails - mushrooms, asparagus, “sweet meat” - should be taken from the tray along with them, because, firstly, it’s easier to transfer everything to your plate , and secondly, a pile of softened toast on a tray is an unattractive sight. And therefore, the toast with everything on it is picked up from below with a spoon, held on top with a fork and transferred to your plate, on the edge of which you can then put the bread if you don’t want to eat it. When you take food only with a spoon, you should be especially attentive and careful.

Gravy or sauce is poured over meat, potatoes or rice, while pickles, relishes or jelly are placed next to the main dish. Olives, radishes, and nuts are placed on a snack plate, if there is one, and if not, then on the edge of your plate.

When passing your plate for refills, leave your fork and knife on it, making sure they won't slip.

The host puts food on plates and passes them to the guests counterclockwise: everyone sitting on the right takes a plate from his neighbor on the left and sends it on. If a lady sits to the right of the owner, she keeps the plate for herself, but passes the next one to the guest who is at the very end of the table. The third is intended for the last one on the right, the fourth - for his neighbor on the left, etc. When all the guests sitting on the right hand of the host have been served, the plates begin to be passed to those sitting on the left side. Lastly, the owner puts the food in for himself. When the hostess, who occupies a place at the opposite end of the table, lays out the food, she follows the same order.

“Family style” dinner assumes that the host or hostess lays out only the meat or other main dish, and the trays with other dishes are passed around so that everyone can put as much as they want. Trays are also passed counterclockwise. The man does not court his neighbor on the right, but puts his portion on his plate. He, however, can hold the dish until the lady serves herself food. If a guest sitting at the far end of the table asks for a refill, and the dish ends up with you “on the way,” you have the right to say: “Do you mind if I put a little in for myself first, so as not to pass this dish back later?” If there is only one portion left on the dish, this, of course, should not be done.

At family dinners, when the mother knows who likes what and how much they can eat, she puts the food on plates in the kitchen and, herself or with the help of one of the children, brings the filled plates to the table. This is not allowed in the presence of guests - guests are given the right to choose and serve their own food. Exceptions here are possible only for dishes prepared and served in a special way, such as “eggs Benedict,” which must be “put together” in the kitchen.

The maid, serving food to guests, hands the dish to the left. If you don't like the food, just say, "No, thanks."

30. How to refuse an offered dish

If you are offered a dish that you are allergic to or that you particularly dislike, you can politely refuse: “No, thank you.” However, the rules of good manners recommend taking at least a small piece from each dish and placing what you haven’t touched on the plate so that it is not noticeable. The old rule of not leaving anything on the plate is outdated today, but the hostess will undoubtedly be upset if she sees that you have served yourself a large portion without even touching it, not to mention the fact that it would be simply wasteful. There is no need to explain why you are refusing to eat, but if the reason is that you have an allergy, or you are on a diet, or the doctor does not recommend it to you, you can, sparing the hostess’s pride, quietly, without attracting the attention of other guests, explain to her , what's the matter.

When refusing a dish offered by a waiter, quietly say, “No, thank you,” or simply shake your head - this form of refusal is now more widespread.

At a buffet lunch, where there are several dishes to choose from, you can simply take what you like best. If the waiters at such a dinner are standing at the table with appetizers, you only have to point to the dish you like, holding your plate forward, or say “No, thank you” with a smile if they are going to serve you something other than what you wanted.

31. Cutlery

Having finished eating the main course, place the fork and knife parallel on the plate so that their handles slightly protrude beyond the edge of the plate, diagonally from left to right and from top to bottom. It is also customary to put a dessert spoon and fork. When the dessert is served in a vase on a high stem or in a deep vase on a separate plate, the spoon is placed on this plate. If the vase is small and wide, the spoon can be left in it or placed on a plate.

How to use a knife and fork

How to properly handle a knife and fork can best be shown through illustrations. By carefully examining the pictures, you will understand how best to use cutlery to cut the bird, and how to more conveniently and gracefully bring the food to your mouth.

In America, it is customary to eat in a zigzag manner: the fork is transferred from the left hand to the right after cutting off a piece of meat or poultry. This style is quite correct, but, in my opinion, it is too complicated, and loses in comparison with the “European” style, when the knife remains in right hand, and the fork is in the left, fortunately it is both simpler and more elegant. Although some people think that adopting a “foreign” manner is snobbery, I see nothing wrong with adopting a more practical custom.

32. How to help yourself when eating

Bread crust is perfect for helping with eating. A knife is also suitable for this purpose - provided that you use it correctly. The knife should be held in your left hand in the same position in which you hold it in your right when cutting food, and with its tip you place the pieces on the fork. This movement is natural and therefore completely acceptable.

33. Exit predicaments at the table

- Food that is too hot or of poor quality

- When you choked on meat or bone

Although each of us has heard that a piece of food that went down the wrong throat led to someone’s death, in fact, most often the situation of a choking person is far from so tragic. If a sip of water doesn't help, try clearing your throat with a tissue over your mouth. Remove the stuck piece of food or fish bone from your mouth with your fingers and place it on the edge of your plate. If you feel like you need to induce a longer coughing attack, excuse yourself and leave the table.

However, when you are choking severely, do not hesitate to call for help. The trouble is that a person in this position is not able to speak, cough or make any sounds at all. Therefore, by any means necessary, attract attention to yourself and remember that there is no time for good manners. Try to remain calm and act quickly - it could save your life.

- If you cough, sneeze or want to blow your nose

To perform one of these actions - if it does not take too long - it is not at all necessary to get up from the table. As a last resort, you can apologize, go into another room and deal with the cough or uncontrollable sneezing there. When you feel a coughing attack approaching, cover your mouth and nose with a tissue, or if you don’t have a tissue or time to get one, use a napkin. As a last resort, just your palm will do - it's better than nothing. You should never blow your nose into a tissue. If you don't have anything suitable at hand, excuse yourself and hurry to the bathroom.

- If there is a pebble, hair or insect in the plate

If there is something inedible in the food, the only way out- get rid of it, and as unnoticeably as possible. Remove the foreign object from your mouth with your fingertips and place it on the edge of your plate. When you notice this “something” - a hair in butter, a worm on a lettuce leaf, a fly in soup - even before the foreign object gets into your mouth, try to remove it without attracting attention to yourself and continue eating. If the impression turned out to be too strong and completely ruined your appetite, just set the plate aside so as not to embarrass the hostess. In a restaurant, on the contrary, you not only can, but must, indicate to the waiter that the dish was served in substandard form and demand a replacement. However, an observant and attentive housewife, noticing that you have stopped eating and guessing what’s wrong, will make sure that they bring you another portion.

- If food gets stuck in teeth

You cannot use a toothpick at the table, and it is absolutely unacceptable to remove a piece of food stuck in your teeth with your fingers. If it causes pain, excuse yourself, get up from the table and go to the bathroom. Or wait for a pause, say, a change of dishes and, after leaving the dining room, ask for a toothpick.

The same thing should be done when a piece of food gets stuck in a denture. You should apologize and go to the bathroom to wash it off.

- If you drop or spill something

When it comes to solid food, you should use a clean spoon or the blade of your knife to pick up a piece from the tablecloth, for example, jelly, a slice of cucumber, etc. If there is a stain on the tablecloth, wet the corner of your napkin with water from a glass and try to wipe it off. Apologize to your hosts, who in turn should not draw attention to this incident so as not to add to your embarrassment.

If you spill wine or water at a formal dinner or in a restaurant, calmly call the waiter and ask him to bring a napkin to cover the spill. At a family dinner where there are no servants, try using a napkin or sponge to wipe off the stain and generally help the hostess get rid of it as best you can.

What you shouldn't do at the table

Even the smallest representative of our society knows that he “should behave” in a certain manner at the table. What can and cannot be done while eating is laid down by parents in early childhood. Rules of behavior at the table for children begin with playing “being adults”, gradually moving meals to regular moments, and becoming the norm of behavior.

Table etiquette – this is not only a cultural coloring of the eating process. By observing the rules of table manners, the main life tasks are solved:

1. Digestion improves;
2. The admission process becomes easier;
3. Hygiene rules are observed;
4. Preventing accidents at the table.

History and culture of food

The rules of behavior at the table probably appeared before the table itself. They were not invented by the communists in their unique organization of schools and kindergartens. The first mentions of table etiquette appeared in ancient world. There is mention of this in the texts of the ancient Sumerians. They say that a person must be highly moral and comply with ethical standards- this is what is given to man by the gods and distinguishes people from animals. Failure to comply with the rules of behavior, according to the ancient Sumerians, leads to negativity in his life.

Eating is the most important process. He was always surrounded by all sorts of rituals and rules, strictly regulating who, when, where, what he eats. The first rules were inseparably connected with the family hierarchy, the organization of everyday life, the method of preparing food, and even with the food itself. Breaking the rules while eating was considered something unforgivable, shameful, and was condemned (and sometimes punished) at all times, in any culture. Life and a person’s way of life changed, and the rules changed along with it. Family rituals made room and gave way to food culture and aesthetics. Table manners are increasingly based on secular ethics, rather than on religious and national traditions.

Why do we need table rules?

Compliance with rules and etiquette at the table is not the prerogative of a certain social group of people. It has nothing to do with the level of income or social status families. " We are from simple people, from workers. Why do we need all these tablecloths, napkins, forks and knives? Why does my child need all this?» - teachers kindergarten sometimes you hear something like this. It is important to understand that the culture of nutrition and behavior is not whims, not the desire to “show off” in front of others. The fact is that following certain rules of etiquette at the table makes sense and has specific benefits for children. Let's look at some of them:

1. Washing your hands before eating protects the body from pathogenic bacteria entering with food;
2. Setting the table using a clean tablecloth and disposable napkins protects food from coming into contact with the surface of the dining table;
3. The requirement to “not fidget” and not talk while eating is to prevent serious incidents at the table (the child may choke);
4. The request to “take your time,” sit up straight and chew your food thoroughly is nothing more than helping the stomach digest what you eat quickly and easily;
5. A napkin placed on your knee (or chest) will protect your clothes from getting dirty.

1. For spontaneously organized table without owners you can sit in any order,how convenient it is for the participants of the feast. Before sitting down, ask your companions which seat is preferable for them. If you are expecting guests, leave the most comfortable place for them.
2. At a pre-arranged table you should not sit down, until you are invited to it by the owners or staff. At small dinner parties, your seat can be found by using a name card placed as part of a couvert on the table. If there are no cards, wait until the host/hostess of the event shows you your seat.
3. At a large formal event the beginning of the feast is announced to all guests. As a rule, at the entrance to the banquet hall, you can inquire about which table your name is assigned to on the seating plan, and then find your place at the table, guided by the inscriptions on the cards. If they are not there, this means spontaneous seating.
4. At social feasts, ladies sit first, then gentlemen. They approach the chair from the left side. Helping a lady sit at the table by pulling out a chair for her is today at the discretion of the gentleman. This is not expected at business dinners. In secular contexts it is more appropriate.
5. Ladies are recommended to sit on 2/3 of the seat, men – on 3/4: this position helps maintain posture. The optimal distance between your body and the table is two palms. This will allow you, as you should, to bring the device to your mouth without bending over the plate. Sit so that your hands, with your elbows bent, are placed exactly above the fork and knife.

”

The posture of the back should be straight, but without stiffness. The ideal position - what could be called an ``easy seat`` - resembles the back of a rider. And food should be brought up to the mouth, rather than the mouth down towards the food. – Vogue's Book of Etiquette

Remaining always elegant is a real art. Anyone can benefit from the ability to eat beautifully. to modern man who likes to leave a favorable impression. Knowing the rules of behavior and etiquette at the table will help you gain confidence and look dignified.

Situations may vary. Attitudes that work in one company or culture are definitely not appropriate in other circumstances. In parallel, there are rules of behavior at a friendly table and clear instructions for business meetings over lunch. It’s not enough to simply know how to use a fork and knife; you need to control yourself in any situation. Etiquette for the aristocratic festive table Absolutely inapplicable on a hike or a road snack. It is important to see the situation, feel the situation, and understand those around you.

Table etiquette is changing different cultures, circumstances, companies. Somewhere, the ability to flawlessly manage several dozen knives, spoons, forks or other utensils is not useful at all. What does not exist in table etiquette is blind obedience to each point; you need self-control and a clear understanding of your actions. A sense of proportion will tell you how to behave. The rules must be observed wisely: for etiquette, you do not need to have manners at a common table, which are characteristic of a prim lady of the royal court.

How to behave at a table in a formal setting

Table etiquette at official receptions for different countries individual. Help you enjoy your food with confidence general rules and it is not always necessary to know how to use a fork and knife. It is very important to show respect to the people around you. The basic rules of correct behavior at the table are necessary initially to demonstrate your attitude towards others.

For eating at the table for official meetings, the rules of etiquette provide for some formalities:

• Posture. A straight back allows you to look confident, your palms are at a comfortable distance for using a fork and knife. You can't lean on the table. For women, it is possible to lean on one elbow for a short time. A man should not touch the edges of the table during the entire meal.
• Do not lean too far towards the plate and place your elbows.
• No need to reach across the table for the dish you like. You can politely ask for the food to be passed on.
• Dishes at the table are passed from left to right.
• You should eat at a calm pace, in small portions.
• It is not customary to blow on hot dishes. You can wait a little while for the food to cool down on its own.
• You should eat food quietly so as not to spoil it for others.
• Before taking a sip of water or drink, you should swallow all the food and blot your lips with a napkin so as not to stain the edge of the glass.
• Sitting down at the table with a cigarette means demonstrating your disrespect for others.
• It's not nice to tip the bowl of soup; you can just leave some liquid at the bottom. After eating, the spoon is placed on the plate.
• If you need to move away from the table, you should inform those present about this.
• Etiquette for modern rules behavior presupposes the need to show respect for the hosts of the evening at the table. The signature dishes prepared by them themselves are definitely worth a try. You should start eating only after the owners.
• You shouldn't pick at the plate, putting aside the best pieces, or demonstrate that you don't like the food.
• It’s not nice to share a glass with a neighbor, or to take food from his plate even when you know each other closely.

Cutlery and napkins

Dining etiquette provides for some. There are two ways to handle a knife and fork: classical And American. According to the first, the knife and fork must be in the hands until the dish is eaten. In the American method, it is allowed to put an unnecessary knife on a plate.

Used cutlery should not be placed on the table to avoid staining the tablecloth. They should be left on the plate. A crossed fork and knife signal to the waiter that the guest is not finished with the dish yet. To change the plate, you need to place the cutlery parallel.

The fork and knife must be used quietly, avoiding any grinding noise. It's not nice to have bits of food or splashes flying around. Chicken Kiev or other “dangerous” dishes should be carefully pierced with a fork to allow the juice to flow out. It is unacceptable to eat from a knife. It is intended only for cutting food.

Cutlery can be shared or individual. Common utensils are used to plate food and are located to the right of the utensil in which the food was served. The spoon is designed to scoop up food, and the fork is designed to support the selected piece of food. After use, they are left in a common plate for the next guest.

Table etiquette provides some rules for use napkins:

• The linen napkin should be on your knees. It should be deployed silently.
• You should not put the napkin on the table, tie it around your neck, or generally place it somewhere above your knees.
• After eating or before each sip from a glass, you need to wipe your oily lips.
• Ladies with lipstick should use disposable paper napkins.
• If you need to leave, leave the napkin on the chair. After the evening is over, it should be placed on the edge of the table next to your plate.
• It is unacceptable to wipe served cutlery with a napkin. This is a hint of the owners' uncleanliness.

Table conversations and manners

Rules of behavior at the table involve communication between participants in the meal. You should not close yourself off from guests, it looks impolite. Good manners according to the rules of etiquette, this is, first of all, an attempt by your presence to create a calm environment for eating. You should be attentive to your neighbors. You need to make sure that the people sitting next to you don’t need to convey anything and remember to keep the conversation going.

Table culture implies a certain etiquette of communication during meals. Difficult conversations, quarrels, showdowns must be postponed for another occasion. When eating at a common table, you must follow the correct rules of behavior. The conversation should be relaxed, easy, and demonstrate respect for the participants.

• It is unacceptable to read a book or take out a phone or tablet at the table. It is also not recommended to wear makeup.
• If children participate in the meal, it is necessary to explain to them how to behave at the table and what etiquette is. Younger participants in the meal should only speak if asked. You cannot interfere in the conversation of adults, be capricious, or play with food. It is unacceptable for children to be present when discussing topics that are not intended for them. It is worth remembering the little participants in the feast when talking about personal relationships and emotional conversations.
• Good manners at a lunch or dinner party include... certain rules conversation etiquette. It is necessary to look directly in the eyes when talking. It is impolite to look away.
• A protruding little finger no longer really corresponds to modern etiquette and is a sign of affectation. This is a relic of those times when it was considered aesthetically pleasing to pick up food with the index, middle and thumb, leaving the rest aside.
• Separately, we can say about the attitude towards waiters. For real cultured person evident from conversations with service personnel. Petty quibbles, raised voices, and even more so scandals with waiters indicate poor upbringing of the guest. If you are served a dirty cutlery or a dish that is not hot enough, you can report this in a calm tone without losing your dignity.
• After finishing the meal, you need to praise the cook. If you don't like the food, you can always find some positive aspects.

Beverages

Table etiquette is also important during consumption.

The glass should be held by the stem with your fingers so as not to stain the shiny walls with greasy fingers. This way you can enjoy the taste of the drink without changing its temperature. The glass must be filled halfway with wine. These are not only the rules of table etiquette - empty space allows you to more fully enjoy the aroma of grapes. At receptions, drinks are served on trays by waiters. The glass is held in your hands until it is emptied. To get rid of empty dishes, you can use a special table. The coffee cup should be held by the handle with two fingers. This will help you avoid getting burned by a hot drink. At the tea table it is also worth remembering what and table etiquette. You cannot blow on a hot drink; you need to drink quietly. It is worth stirring the tea without touching the spoon to the edge of the cup, so as not to make unnecessary sounds. If a drink spills on a saucer, you must ask the waiter to replace the glassware.

The peculiarity of table etiquette when drinking alcohol is its obligatory attention to the interlocutors. Adding a drink to a glass only for yourself is bad form. You must first ask your neighbors if they need any other alcohol.

Additional etiquette rules

• Smoking at the table is permissible only in the absence of children and objections from other participants in the meal. You should not smoke before eating or while your neighbors are eating. This prevents you from enjoying the aroma of the dish. You must wait until lunch or dinner is over.
• Refusal of a dish (diet, allergies or certain beliefs) is possible with a polite explanation of the reason.
• Food between teeth can cause some discomfort. It should be removed away from prying eyes. You should apologize and go to the toilet.
• Lipstick on glasses and cutlery is bad form. Before eating, wipe your lips with a paper napkin.
• Handbags, briefcases, and umbrellas cannot be placed on the table. If possible, they should be hung over the back of a chair or placed next to you on the floor.