Table manners for schoolchildren. Basic rules of table etiquette

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Even the simplest gatherings with loved ones are also a ceremony that has its own rules. The laws of etiquette must be followed, if only because they help make everyone at the table feel comfortable and cozy.

website I have collected for you the most common mistakes in behavior at the table. Spoiler: the most important thing is the last one.

1. We get stuck on social networks

A telephone on the table is a sign of bad taste, and it’s also unhygienic. It is best to put the phone on vibration mode and put it in your pocket. It is worth remembering that for a well-mannered person all correspondence interlocutors are secondary. If, in the middle of lunch, someone you can’t help but call suddenly calls, you should apologize, leave the table and resolve all urgent issues as quickly as possible.

2. We start eating first

Even if everything looks damn delicious and you're hungry like you haven't eaten in 7 days, don't start eating alone (not even that piece of cut-up that's staring right at you). In a restaurant we wait until everyone’s orders are brought and the woman sitting at the table begins to eat; when visiting, we wait until the owners of the house start eating.

3. Silently help yourself to the salad.

If you are successfully sitting opposite a shared dish, you first need to offer it to other guests and only then serve it to yourself. And if the hostess’s signature Olivier is standing in front of a neighbor, it means that he is on the “distribution” today: you just need to politely ask him for help. An important nuance: at the table everything is passed with the right hand.

4. Place used utensils on the table

Spoons, forks and knives that have been used at least once should lie in the plate and not stain the festive tablecloth. They should be there during the conversation. (Yes, yes, waving a dirty spoon in front of your interlocutor’s nose is bad manners.)

5. Bite the bread

In order to eat more of these soft French rolls and remain an etiquette connoisseur, you need to take into account only 2 points. First: do not cut bread with a knife. Second: don’t bite your teeth into big piece rolls (it is better to break off small pieces with your fingers as needed).

6. Torture the tea bag

The correct way is to remove the teabag with a spoon (without touching the rope with your hands), lightly squeeze it on the edge of the cup and place it in the upper left part of the tea saucer. We also send tea wrappers, sugar packaging, etc. there.

7. Spread butter from a common plate

It is considered polite to first put some butter on your plate and then spread it on the bread. This will prevent bread crumbs from ending up on the common plate.

8. We only pass on salt when asked.

If you salt it yourself, offer it to your neighbor at the table. There may be shy people at the table who would rather eat unsalted food than ask someone. Important: we always give the salt shaker together with the pepper shaker on the same stand. In this case, it is more correct not to give it to your hands, but to place it on the table next to your neighbor.

Table etiquette is not limited only to the rules of eating. This concept includes the ability to make a favorable impression on others, the manner of communication, and much more. By these criteria you can always distinguish a well-mannered person. Few people know all the intricacies of table etiquette, but there is nothing to be ashamed of. There are many manuals and articles devoted to etiquette. And it's never too late to learn.

Basic table manners

The rules of human behavior at the table can be called a whole science; they have been developed over years, even centuries, and are based on common sense, hygiene, attitude towards people who share a meal with you, etc. This section of etiquette is perhaps the most important, because without good manners It is impossible to achieve success in life at the table. Table etiquette is studied in modern schools business and colleges where future businessmen are trained.

Now we will look at the basic rules of behavior at the table. A man should not sit down at the table until the women sit down or one of the hosts offers to take a seat. As a rule, the man escorts the woman to the table and offers her a seat to his right. And only after that can he sit down himself. He should pay his main attention to the woman sitting on his right, but if a woman is also sitting to his left, then she should not be deprived of his attention. In general, according to the rules, a man must be equally attentive at the table, both to women he knows and to those he does not know.

So, the guests are at the table. But you shouldn’t start eating until everyone has filled their plates. This applies to the first course. When submitting the next one, you do not need to wait until it is offered to everyone. Ladies sitting at the table should be served first. The lady sitting to your right should pour the wine with her left hand. When a new bottle is opened, the man must pour some wine into his glass and then into the lady's.

It is completely unacceptable to place your elbows on the table, because... You can push your neighbor or his appliance. Elbows, if possible, should be kept close to the body. Only hands can be on the table. You also need to remember about posture. You should not lean over the plate. If the desired dish or object is far from you, you cannot reach for it, dipping parts of your clothing into other people's plates. You need to politely ask them to be handed over to you.

When lunch has come to an end, the fork and knife should be placed on the plate parallel to each other, in such a way that if you imagine the plate as a clock dial, and the cutlery as hands, then they should show the time “ten to four.” In decent establishments, this serves as a signal to the waiter that you have already finished your meal. But he should not put the cutlery away until everyone has finished eating. If you finish eating before the others, then in the remaining time you do not need to move the plate away from you, put them one on top of the other, you can continue the conversation, drink coffee or tea. By the way, about tea. Do not leave a teaspoon in a glass or cup. After you have stirred your tea or coffee, you should put it on a saucer. In no case is it recommended to urge your dining companions on with words or gestures. In turn, if you are used to eating slowly, then at a business lunch it would be better not to finish eating than to force everyone to wait for you.

The rules strictly prohibit making comments regarding the dishes served or criticizing their execution. When the women rise from the table, the man must also rise and stand until they leave the dining room. Then you can sit down.

Another very important rule. Basically, when serving, food is served on the table in common dishes: salad bowls, dishes, plates, which are designed for several people. Food from such dishes must be taken carefully, using special utensils that lie next to it (various forks, spatulas, tongs, spoons). You must try not to drop anything on the table or touch your plate with these utensils. There is no need to pile mountains of food on your plate, it looks ugly. After all, you can always add more of the dish you like. Smearing and kneading food on your plate also looks unaesthetic. This can make others at the table feel disgusted.

Rules of communication at the table

First of all, you need to remember that you shouldn’t talk about business at the table. The conversation should be pleasant and general. If the number of participants is small, then general topics for conversation are chosen; if there are more than thirty guests, then, as a rule, those sitting next to each other talk with each other. The feast lasts on average about two hours, and after it you can talk about business.

There are certain taboos on topics of table conversation. Namely: health (your own or someone else’s), income, family problems, work conflicts. Also, you should not pronounce too long monologues, be interested in age and social status interlocutors. It is recommended to talk about culture and art, but avoid going deep into the topics to avoid the possibility of an argument or conflict.

It is not permissible to conduct conversations over the heads of those sitting next to you. If you want to say something to a person sitting across from you, you can do this by leaning back, behind your neighbor’s back. When talking to someone sitting next to you right hand, a person should not completely turn his or her back to the person sitting to your left. The ability to listen to your interlocutor is also an important condition good manners. You cannot interrupt the speaker, you must look at him with attention, showing your interest in the topic of conversation with your whole appearance.

And one last thing. Never talk while food is in your mouth, and also, do not lounge imposingly on a chair.

Serving items.

For a person accustomed to making do with a minimum amount of cutlery, it is sometimes not an easy task to understand the purpose of numerous shiny knives and forks laid out on festive table at his plate.

In fact, everything is not so difficult. We must remember that all devices are divided into main and auxiliary. The main ones are those that are used to eat, and the auxiliary ones are intended for cutting something, putting it on, etc. And further. All cutlery is placed from your plate in the same order in which the dishes are served: soup, meat, fish, dessert. Thus, you should use the device that is furthest from the plate first.

Despite the apparent variety of serving, each item has its own purpose. At the beginning of lunch, there is a snack plate in front of you (sometimes a small dinner plate with a snack plate on it). On the left side of it there may be a paper napkin or a pie plate. Knives are laid out to the right of the plate, forks are laid out on the left side. Dessert cutlery is placed in front of the plate. Behind them are glasses, glasses, wine glasses. There is a napkin on the snack plate in front of you. If lunch involves no first course, a spoon is not included.

It would be correct to hold with your right hand all the devices that are on the right, respectively, with your left – those on the left. Dessert cutlery is taken with the hand towards which the handle of the cutlery is located.

Hold the knife correctly so that the middle and thumb they held him by the sides of the beginning of the handle, the end of the handle rested on the palm, forefinger should be kept on the upper surface of the handle so that you can use it to press the knife down when you need to cut something. The remaining fingers should be kept slightly bent. Food is cut towards you. But there should not be too many pieces and they should be small in size so that they fit in the mouth.

The fork is taken in the left hand so that the end of the handle rests against the palm, and the fork itself faces down with its tines. Otherwise, it is held in the same way as a knife, only with the left hand. If there are side dishes on the table such as mashed potatoes or porridge, the fork is used as a spoon, i.e. turn over with the tines up, the fork handle should lie on the middle finger, and the index and thumb should hold the fork on their sides. In these cases, food is taken on a fork, helping with the tip of a knife blade.

The spoon should be held in the right hand. The end of the spoon handle should rest on the index finger, and the beginning on the middle finger. If the dish consists of pieces that can be separated without a knife, then only a fork is served and it must be held in the right hand.

The knife and fork are held in the hands throughout the entire dinner - this classic way. There is also an American style of eating that allows you to use these items interchangeably. That is, after cutting the dish, you can take the fork in your right hand and eat with it. While waiting for a change of dishes, the knife and fork should be placed crosswise on the plate. In this case, the handle of the knife should point to the right, and the tines of the fork should be turned down.

How to use a napkin correctly.

According to modern rules etiquette, the napkin should be placed on your lap so as not to stain your clothes if food accidentally gets on it. Sitting down at the table, you need to unfold the napkin, fold it in half and place it on your lap. If you get your fingers dirty while eating, you can wipe them with the top half of the napkin, leaving it on your lap. To blot your lips, you need to take a napkin from your knees into your palm so that the ends turn over in your palms and the napkin becomes shorter, then apply its middle to your lips. Afterwards, the napkin should be placed to the right of the plate. Under no circumstances should it be hung on the back of a chair or placed on a seat.

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Remember the famous movie “Pretty Woman” with Richard Gere and Julia Roberts. I think many people remember the episode of a business meeting in a restaurant, where the heroine of the film first encountered such a concept as table etiquette, becoming confused about forks and knives and how to use them. Remember her bewilderment when the dish, which she had not yet finished eating, was removed from the table. No matter how funny it may be in the film, in reality, not everyone would like to find themselves in such a situation, being completely unfamiliar with table manners and a certain sign language in an official setting.

At home, the rules of etiquette at the table are observed in modern times very rarely. At home you can allow yourself to relax. But in a restaurant it is very difficult to do without table etiquette.

Knowledge of the rules of table etiquette, as well as the correspondence of each of the numerous cutlery to a particular dish, helps you feel calm at a gala reception or dinner party. In most cases, table manners have common requirements.

The history of table setting began 2.5 thousand years ago. The first mentions of food culture were found in scrolls dating back to Ancient Egypt. Some of its beginnings can also be found on the paintings of vases and temple walls.

Time Ancient Greece and Rome were famous for their huge feasts - this was a kind of flowering of the culture of feasting and serving rules.

It is noteworthy that Europe at that time was not at all familiar with such concepts as etiquette and table setting. Back then, there wasn’t even any dishes as such - food was placed in special recesses in the tables.

A new era of flourishing food consumption culture occurred in the 8th-9th centuries during the reign of Charlemagne. Feasts became entire ceremonies that dictated certain rules. True, they still ate mainly with a knife; using a spoon was the privilege of the rulers.

In most countries, up until the 16th century, it was customary to eat with your hands, grabbing food with three fingers.

The Italians were the first to use cutlery (fork and knife); previously, the fork was used only in the process of preparing and putting food on plates.

In Europe, the use of cutlery is often associated with significant changes in fashion (high collars, puffy jabots, wide long sleeves and cuffs). It just became uncomfortable to eat with your hands.

Over the centuries, there have been many changes in table etiquette and table settings. The dishes were changed, new additional cutlery was introduced, elements for decorating the table and the room in which the meal was served.

New manners appeared. Perhaps, over time, some other innovations will appear that our descendants will have to strictly follow. We can only say one thing: at any time, the etiquette of feasting and serving will be a sign of a well-mannered person and will be valued throughout the world.

Table etiquette has been developed over centuries, the purpose of which was to have a pleasant time at the table, so that the behavior of all those present was harmonious, rational and did not embarrass others. You can't talk about high cultural development and education of a person if he eats carelessly or does not know and does not comply with the rules of behavior at the table.

Etiquette is not an abstraction, it is not excess, it is not snobbery. Etiquette is “a language of mutual respect that everyone understands” (Jack Nicholson).

When serving, each item is given its own place and purpose.

The main thing is to follow the following rules:

1. One of the most important rules is that all utensils placed to the right of the plate when setting the table are intended to be used with the right hand, and all those lying to the left are intended to be used with the left hand. Dessert cutlery located with handles to the right is taken with the right hand, and with handles to the left - with the left hand.

2. The second rule that follows from this is that it is not permissible to transfer a fork and knife from one hand to another while eating.

3. Before starting the meal, you should not pick up cutlery, fold and rearrange them in your own way.

4. Don’t worry if you see a huge assortment of forks, knives and spoons on the set table. The principle is simple: start your meal with the cutlery furthest from the plate. Usually dishes are served in the order in which the cutlery is located relative to the plate. The main course is accompanied by the cutlery closest to the plate.

5. To serve food from a common dish, always use serving cutlery, which will always be on such a dish. Individual utensils should never be used to take food from a common dish.

6. If during the meal there is some cutlery If it accidentally falls on the floor, do not try to pick it up from the floor. Ask the waiter to bring you a clean device.

7. Hold cutlery not by the middle, but by the tip of the handle.

8. If you take a knife in your right hand, then your index finger should be on the handle, and not on the back of the blade. You should never eat from a knife; it is only used to cut food in a dish into small pieces.

10. Bring the spoon or fork to your mouth rather than tilting your head towards the plate. In this case, the device is held parallel to the table and brought to the mouth with its side. If a spoon in the French style has an elongated narrow scoop, then such a spoon is brought to the mouth with a pointed end.

11. A spoon with soup should not be filled to the brim, and according to etiquette, it is not customary to blow on a spoon with soup if you think it is hot.

12. The plate with soup can only be tilted away from you when you need to scoop up the leftovers with a spoon. At the same time, the movement of the spoon when scooping soup should always be away from you.

13. If you have finished your meal, place the cutlery parallel to each other with the handles to the right. In America, the fork should face up with the tines, in Europe - with the tines down.

14. If you paused the process of eating, paused to, for example, pick up a glass, if you want to continue eating with the same utensil, you should not put it on a plate, place it on the table next to the plate or on the edge of the plate so that the handles leaned on the table.

15. If you want the dish to be repeated, place the cutlery crosswise, with the fork in in this case will be above the knife with the teeth facing up.

16. If you are in a hurry and are expecting the next dish right away, then place the knife horizontally with the handle to the right, and the fork on top of the knife vertically relative to the plate.

17. If you really liked the dish you ate and want to thank the cook, place the fork and knife horizontally across the plate with the handles to the left.

18. To show that you didn’t like the food, you can pass a knife through the teeth of a fork and cross the utensils.

19. If you want the half-eaten dish to be taken away, cross the cutlery, placing the fork under the knife with the tines down. This will mean that you did not like the dish and you do not want to continue eating it.

20. If you want to pause while eating, cross your cutlery by placing the fork over the knife, tines down. For the waiter, this will be a signal not to remove the plate from the table.

21. In case you didn't like the service of the staff, there is also a special arrangement of cutlery after the end of the meal. Place the knife and fork with the handles facing up and cross them so that the blade of the knife overlaps the scoop of the fork.

22. If you want a book of complaints to be brought to you, place the cutlery vertically parallel to each other with the handles up along the edges of the plate.

23. If you liked the service, the food, the speed, the courtesy, the politeness, and the smile service personnel, then you can show this by crossing the cutlery so that the knife stands with the blade on the outermost tine of the fork. In this case, you are non-verbally communicating that you will become regular customer establishments.

We have tried to outline only the basic rules for using cutlery. Proper handling of serving items makes the eating process extremely easy, so listen to simple rules Of course, everyone should use them. And ignorance of etiquette standards can sometimes put anyone in an awkward position.

You can read more information about table setting and the purpose and position of cutlery on the table in our articles, and.

Svetlana Ponomareva - consultant at the Art Salon on Sadova Street in Karlovy Vary
Sources used: materials provided by manufacturers, websites meissen.com, lladro.com, robbeberking.com,
antique forums, scientific literature on topics related to the technology of production of porcelain and silverware
and with their manufacturers, in Russian, German and English