How to make the right choice in life test. How to make the right choice in life

Before making a choice, especially a responsible and important one, a person goes through a painful period of doubt. Tossing about how to do it right choice between one and the other can become unbearable and last too long. So long that I’m already disgusted by the process. If there was some simple and perfect way to make the right choice, then... Oh, how easy it would be to live then!

• Why can it be so difficult to choose between one and the other?
• How to overcome doubts and still make the right, important choice in life? What to rely on for this?

In response to the question “how to make an important choice?” There is always a cunning person who will offer a quick and simple solution: for example, toss a coin, tell fortunes on the petals of a daisy, or buy a ball that, when shaken, gives the answer. As if such a choice could be correct. We know that this does not happen - the doubts that torment you from within will not make it possible to get rid of the process so easily. Can they be removed with a coin? No! Then how to calm them down? How to not only make the right choice, but a choice without painful doubts? This is exactly the question we will answer in this article.

Why is it so difficult to make the right choices in life?

If I had known where you would fall, I would have laid out straws

The problem of making the right choice lies... tram-pa-pa-ra-ram, who would have thought - in human psychology. What did you think? That it directly depends on what and what you choose between? Well, no, everything is much deeper and more complicated. The problem is that prevents us from making this very choice– why doubts are so painful that they are a real stupor. There is something wrong with this.

The best way to understand why it is so difficult to make the right choice in favor of anything is with the help of system-vector psychology by Yuri Burlan. This science identifies 8 psychotypes - vectors. One of them can make a person doubt all the time. This is an anal vector, you can learn more about it, and.

A person with an anal vector has some innate desires, one of which is the desire for ideal quality. He wants everything to be not just “good”, but “excellent”. The slightest blemish leads to disappointment; you want to do it all over again. If this fails, the person often suffers for the rest of his life. For example, he is gluing wallpaper and somewhere in one place it didn’t work out very well - a small inconsistency appeared. Another will easily forget about it and will not pay attention, the third will even put up a sofa or cover it with a picture. But not an analist - he will know and remember this mistake, blot, he will not be able to forget it, it will always be a thorn in his side.

Such a desire for ideal normally provides a very positive impetus for development. anal man. He does great at school and college and does not allow himself to be lazy. He can become a professional in his field or even, when combined with other vectors, an encyclopedia person, like Alexander Druz, for example. But things don't always work out so perfectly. Sometimes an anal person is not given this skill in childhood - to bring it to the ideal. Uncertain by nature, he becomes the opposite of a professional - full of doubts and worries. Having no support, he constantly rushes from one thing to another and often even the simplest questions cannot decide what to say in order to make a difficult choice - this is a stop, a stupor. Doubts seem to preserve him. A bad first experience also significantly worsens the situation.

Doubting the norm is the right choice based on a well-remembered experience, both negative and positive. Doubt is not normal - it is tossing from side to side, when experience is completely leveled out as a support for the right choice in life.

Only human experience, as well as the experience of previous generations, can be a support for minimizing one’s own mistakes. It is the anal person who knows this better than others; his entire psyche is directed towards the past. He loves history, well, he remembers his childhood and youth in detail.

But not being able to rationally use his best quality of life, the anal sufferer directs all his energy to bad experiences - he becomes fixated on grievances, events where he made a bitter mistake. At the same time, positive experiences are neglected and not remembered. Then this experience does not become a support for a person, but is an even greater factor of stupor. At the moment when it is necessary to make a difficult choice in life, a person in fact does not have a positive experience, but only a negative one, which, naturally, tells him that everything can only be bad.

Such people are often referred to as pessimists.. And this is not surprising, because they are always sure that nothing will work out. So prompts them accumulated negative experience.

Doubts away - how to choose between the two?

No person can never make mistakes in his life. We don't have such an opportunity. However, you can learn to make the right choices in life and make fewer mistakes. Today such a skill is given in system-vector psychology by Yuri Burlan. By understanding the characteristics of our anal vector, our character, our internal subconscious motives for actions, any person can adjust their life so that life is not painfully embarrassing and difficult, but pleasant and joyful.

Natural or fruity? Bio or regular? Is the packaging large or small? In glassware or plastic cups? It is impossible to count the number of questions that our brain must answer before our hand reaches for four small raspberry yoghurts in multi-colored packaging. And no study has yet established how many times we have to do this exercise before we fill the cart!

But once you think about it, it becomes clear why sometimes going to the store tires us so much. And why are there days when we don’t have the strength to decide which blouse to wear to work, or understand what exactly we want for breakfast...

Where one person sees a choice, another does not see it

We are forced to make a variety of decisions every minute. Our choice begins with a simple purchase of yoghurts, but extends to such important things as a life partner, profession, conceiving a child, political beliefs, a mortgage loan to buy an apartment for a period of 15–20 years...

We make many other decisions, not so significant, but causing vague concern: whether to get a flu shot, whether to transfer a child to another school, whether to change a doctor, whether to break unwritten rules.

It's difficult to choose. Let's try to understand what choice is and how we make it. And also take a few steps towards learning how to make informed decisions.

We are afraid of losing everything

It often happens that where one person sees a choice, another does not notice it. For example, for some of us, the boss’s words are something that is not discussed, that does not allow one’s choice, a different position. Others consider the commandments, humanity, common sense to be the criterion of truth - and then options are possible. “But there was one who didn’t shoot,” Vysotsky sang. So there is a choice even where we don’t see it - we can’t or don’t want to.

“The choice lies in what we are already actually doing,” writes psychotherapist Elena Kalitievskaya. “It seems like we are still choosing, that we are still on the threshold, but in fact we have already chosen and are living...”

When a decision is made, uncertainty disappears - out of several options, only one remains. Sometimes you can beat him without any consequences, more often you can’t. In this case, we take the choice more seriously and choose more accurately, in contrast to the situation when the decision is reversible. But in both cases we lose something. It is this inevitable moment of loss that causes our torment. Because of it, we often perceive the need to decide as a burden, trying with all our might to avoid making a choice or at least delay it.

Who really chooses?

This is not an idle question. Often it is not committed by the one who has to deal with the consequences: parents with the best intentions do it for the child, a caring husband for his wife, a leader for the people. When something has already been decided for us, we often perceive it with gratitude. Yet the worst service you can do to your neighbor is to remove responsibility for your life choices from him.

It will, of course, be easier for him to live, but he will not invest himself in carrying out decisions that were not made by him. And as a result, life will pass by and will not become his own. This happens quite often: for some of us, the suffering of the heroes of television series is brighter and more genuine than anything that happens to us. But in order to use the chance given to us and live our own life, and not someone else’s, we must make decisions and make and correct mistakes ourselves.

What kind of elections are there?

Existential choice is a situation where alternatives and criteria are not predetermined. We must move forward without knowing what other opportunities will come along the way and how to compare them. This is how we choose a profession or a life partner.

There are situations in which choosing seems easier. This happens when the alternatives and criteria are obvious and all we have to do is carefully solve the problem that has the correct answer. For example, choose one of the routes around the city, taking into account the traffic jam situation.

Another case is more complicated: the alternatives are known, but they can be compared on different grounds. Which one is important for us? An example is any shopping. Let's say, when buying clothes, beauty, price, color, practicality, originality, etc. are important - but what is more important? There is no clear answer...

How rationally do we choose?

No matter how we try to build decisions on purely rational grounds, we deceive ourselves, says psychologist Daniel Kahneman, professor at Princeton University (USA). Irrational assumptions and prejudices always interfere with this process, which give rise to errors in our reasoning.

Thus, Kahneman showed that we are much more sensitive to losses than to gains: the pain of losing $20 is greater than the joy of receiving it. We are afraid of plane crashes, although they happen 26 times less often than car accidents, because reports about them are accompanied by impressive, memorable images, unlike road accidents, information about which is presented in dry numbers.

In the process of choosing, we convince ourselves that most people would do the same in our place, and no real facts unable to convince us. It turns out that it is impossible to accurately calculate “how it will actually be”; we simply unconsciously “adjust” the decision to a ready-made answer, prompted by intuition, our many beliefs and prejudices. Whether they turn out to be right or not, that depends on your luck.

How to choose correctly?

This is probably main question. Answer: the right choice cannot be made. “Our life is completed only once,” states the writer Milan Kundera, “and therefore we will never be able to determine which of our decisions was correct and which was false. In this situation, we can only decide once, and we are not given any second, third, fourth life to be able to compare different decisions.”

We can only say whether it was decision good or bad from the point of view of satisfaction with it, but we cannot determine whether it was better or worse - after all, even a decision that is good in its consequences may not be the best, and a bad one may be the lesser of evils. It is not uncommon to choose between bad and very bad. Economic reforms Yegor Gaidar had many negative consequences, it’s hard to argue with that. But was there at that moment the best option? None of his passionate critics mention this option.

Possible error

If it's impossible to make the right choice, doesn't that mean we don't care what to choose? No, that doesn't mean it. A choice cannot be right or wrong, but it can be good or bad, and the line between them is drawn in our minds.

No choice can be made absolutely rationally; irrational, uncalculated components also play a large role in it. We have a chance to do a good choice, if we admit that there is no one objectively correct decision and with any option you can make a mistake. In this case, we act at our own peril and risk. We accept responsibility, recognize the decision as our own and invest in the implementation of what we have chosen. And in case of failure, we do not regret, but gain experience and learn from our mistakes.

If we are convinced that there is only one objective correct solution, and believe in the ability to rationally “calculate” it, believing that everything will somehow happen by itself, we make a bad choice. So many of us vote for the “right” candidate in the elections, and then “lie on the stove” until the next one. If our expectations are not met, we will most likely begin to blame everyone around us except ourselves and will feel disappointed, irritated, and resentful.

Making good choices is difficult because it requires effort, energy and the ability to choose. The outstanding English philosopher of the 17th century, John Locke, wrote that people so often make bad choices precisely because, while they are well aware of the immediate, especially pleasant consequences, they are much less able to assess the distant, often not so rosy, prospects.

And yet, some of us make decisions so quickly that the illusion of ease and spontaneity arises. Those who have experience making decisions, including moral ones, who know how to put forward and evaluate arguments for and against, who strive to see the long-term consequences of their decisions, make more accurate choices even in the most difficult situations.

Is it possible to choose faith?

The conscious decisions we made in the past determine what we believe now, philosopher Julian Baggini argues in his blog: “In every this moment we certainly don't choose what to believe. But we can resolve to make every effort to overcome our destructive tendency to believe what is convenient to believe, and develop the habit of believing only well-founded statements.

Then faith will be the result of thinking about what arguments are convincing, how much we are willing to doubt our motives and analyze them. Our decisions become freer when they involve the ability to reflect and compare. We cannot decide whether or not to believe in God, but we can decide how much we will consider inconvenient facts and false motives. And in this sense, we are responsible for what we believe in.”

Ideal choice

To accomplish it, you need to go through and weigh all possible alternatives. But most often this is impossible, since this process requires a lot of time and energy - the psychological costs of the process itself grow faster than the benefits of sorting through options. American psychologists Sheena Iyengar and Mark Lepper proved this with this example.

When customers were asked to choose from 24 types of jam, the majority, even after trying all the options, left the store with nothing. They just couldn't choose. When the choice was limited to six jars, jam was purchased ten times more often. So the abundance of alternatives and the desire for perfect choice leads, alas, to negative results.

American social psychologist Barry Schwartz believes that in such situations, part of us (he calls such people maximizers) always strives not to miss a single option and collects comprehensive information before making a decision. The other part (optimizers), having gone through a certain number of alternatives, draws a line: they choose from what they managed to look at and evaluate. Which one do you think is happier and more successful in life?

“There are always several correct choices”

Yulia Latynina, journalist

I think it's correct in every sense there is no choice of words. That is, there are always several correct choices. The main thing for us is not to make the wrong choice. For example, if I started studying physics, I would hardly make the wrong life choice - it would be terribly interesting. But if I were involved in prostitution, it would be the wrong choice.

If in doubt, even flipping a coin “heads” or “tails” - in the absence of other criteria - is not so stupid: according to classical theory games, in the absence of information best way decision making is random selection. How to choose a partner for life? As well as life path- free. Or overcoming what makes us unfree.

But even if we made a bad choice, we shouldn’t be upset about it - it’s better to think about what to do next. There is a rule that pilots once told me about: if an emergency occurs on a plane, the main thing is not to worry about why it happened, but to land the plane.”

Immutability or obscurity

Any choice ultimately comes down to a choice between immutability and uncertainty, as the outstanding psychologist Salvatore Maddi proves in his works. Stepping into the unknown creates anxiety, but also gives a chance to find meaning. Choosing immutability reduces anxiety, but generates guilt for unrealized opportunities.

In unimportant situations, the new, unknown is chosen by those who are distinguished by a meaningful attitude to life, resilience, and optimism. It seems that those who find the strength to choose an unknown future have much greater personal resources.

In the case of the key life choice, such as the choice of a life partner, Barry Schwartz suggests that it should be considered final from the very beginning: “Panging doubts about whether your love is “real” or your sexual relations- really passionate, and thinking that your choices could have been better is a recipe for misery.”

Learn to choose

It's necessary! To make a decision in which we will not be disappointed, we need to accurately define our goal, understand our desires, and collect and evaluate the available information. The main thing here is not what exactly we choose, but how we make this choice - consciously or spontaneously. In the first case, there is real internal work behind it, in the second - intuition or simply the desire to “not worry.”

We have different attitudes towards choice: some are happy when it is available, others would prefer to receive a ready-made answer. The ability to meaningfully decide for oneself and for oneself reflects a person’s maturity, his adulthood. Children don't really know how to choose. Of course, they know perfectly well what they want at the moment, but they cannot take into account even slightly delayed consequences of their decisions. This skill comes with age, when readiness for choice gradually develops.

Choice in itself is neither good nor bad. It expands our capabilities, but does everyone need it? An increase in the number of possible options simultaneously means an increase in responsibility and requirements for the one who makes the choice. An adult is no happier than a child, just as a queen is no happier than a pawn. It’s just that his happiness is much more in his own hands.

“Give children the opportunity to try everything to the maximum”

Tatyana Bednik, psychologist

To help your child discover what he really prefers, it is important to give him the opportunity to try as many things as possible. various options, explains developmental psychologist Tatyana Bednik. Tatyana Bednik works as a psychologist at a school and the Moscow Treatment Center psychological assistance children and teenagers. She is the author of the training “Effective interaction between parents and children.”

Psychologies: At what age do children learn to choose?

Tatiana Bednik: Even the smallest children make choices many times a day, but for now they are intuitive and emotional. From the age of two, they can distinguish the taste of foods well and, therefore, can choose what they like. By the age of five or six, they develop preferences for certain colors and, therefore, preferences in clothing. By the age of 10–12, a teenager can be expected to consciously moral decisions and actions: to act this way is good, and to act this way is bad.

Why do children need to be taught this?

A child is by nature a conservative. If he eats pasta every day, and one day he is asked to choose between pasta and, for example, cauliflower, he will inevitably vote for pasta! But this will be a tribute to habit, not a choice. Therefore, it is important that parents give children the opportunity to get acquainted with other options - gently, delicately, spurring their natural curiosity, attracting attention. Only in this way will children be able to understand what they like best and choose exactly that.

How to teach a child to choose?

Paradoxically, learning this goes through the stage of coercion. It is necessary for the child to try both borscht and fish soup so he can find out what he likes best. Even if it is not in fashion now, we must confront children with necessity. IN in this case We are talking, say, about the fact that today there is only such a dish for lunch. And tomorrow it will be completely different. And only after this will he be able to ask for what he likes best - when he finds out for himself, when he stops “choosing” the usual. This science is being learned day by day!

“To take your place in life, you need to learn to choose.” From the movie "Practice"

The day has ended when everyone Russian citizen I was able to make my choice. Choosing yours future life. Today we chose the future President of our country. In order to decide and correctly make a choice, we were given time. During this time, we have drowned in advertising and propaganda of ideas, views, programs, calls of presidential candidates. Tired. But in general, we went to the elections with a ready-made decision and returned home with a sense of fulfilled civic duty.

Is there a person among us who tonight regretted his choice and realized that he was mistaken? Or does this also take time?

In fact, my article is not about elections. An article about - how to make a choice. The elections of March 4, 2012 were just a relevant reason for writing an article.

Wikipedia deciphers the concept of “Choice” for us from the point of view of psychology and technology. In psychology, Choice means having different options for exercising one's will. And technical activity classifies Choice as the resolution of uncertainty in human activity in the face of a plurality of alternatives. What did we have more of today: the availability of options or the real opportunity to resolve uncertainty?

It seems to me that many of us made today’s choice under pressure. Do you know the parable “Fish oil for a dog”?

“One man decided to give his Doberman fish oil: he was told that it was very beneficial for the dog. Every day he pinned the struggling dog's head between his knees, forcibly opened its jaws and pushed fat down its throat.

One day the dog escaped and spilled grease on the floor. Then, to the great surprise of the owner, he returned and began to lick the puddle. It turned out that he was not opposed to the fish oil itself, but to the way in which it was infused into him.” I don’t like the way they force us to make our choice today.

Every person in his life every second is faced with the need to make hundreds of decisions, sometimes without even realizing that he is making a choice at that very moment. Most often, when choosing, a person is guided by the lesser of evils. But when the need arises to choose not from two options, but from three, five, ten possibilities, then very often a person finds himself in a dead end. Exit from which may take a long time. As a result, we end up with missed opportunities.

How to make your choice correctly?

Are there special techniques and techniques that would help a person turn missed opportunities into real ones? Is there something that would help us not to suffer for years, choosing from several options?

What does choice mean to me?

For me, the answer to this question is always a very simple action - a decision. A decision is something that can be done in just a few seconds, albeit after you have thoroughly prepared for it.

I understand mine very well personal responsibility for your choice. If I trust the opinions and advice of other people, then I shift this responsibility onto the shoulders of the advisers. What does not allow me to step on my own rake, which they teach me to live and choose. I don't want to let others make their own choices for me.

I should be interested in my decision. I must have the desire to make the right choice. That is, motivation.

I must have my own system of criteria for selection. Each of us has perfect instruments that can help you make a choice. These are our eyes, hearing, memory, smell, experience, intuition. Let's turn it on and act.

I think the easiest choice is for people who have a rich imagination and the ability to think big. Since such talents are in their infancy, I can assume that in a situation of choice such people can project a picture of the “future” in their imagination.

Great technique for decision making

In difficult situations of choice, the “scales” technique helps me. I imagine in my imagination the scales, on each of which I “add up” the advantages and disadvantages, the pros and cons. I wait until the cup of merit is outweighed, and I boldly choose it.

I learned to understand that no matter what I choose - it is my choice, my way, my road. A little pompous, but it's better to be enthusiastic about one of the possible options and squeeze everything out of it that you can, while the doubting pessimists are tormented by thoughts of how many opportunities they have lost.

More wise king Solomon said: “Choice is not what we choose. Choice is what we give up. Every time you choose one thing, you give up everything else. Make it a rule to know what you are giving up. This will save you from useless tossing and unnecessary disappointments. Always remember this and your path will be pure and full of truth.”.

Although the same Solomon believed that there was no choice.

The consistency of our actions is what, year after year, gives us certain skills and confidence in the upcoming choice. Whether you choose randomly, or base your choice on your character traits, or you have to make a choice based on some criteria - accept your Choice. Get it and go to interesting trip. Try to extract all possible pleasures and valuable experiences. Find your place in the event or make a different choice. After all, you already know how to make a choice. Good luck to you!

I hope to see your opinions in the comments, dear readers. What do you use when you have to choose?

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11 comments

1. Having remembered successful and unsuccessful examples from business, I came to the conclusion that the main thing is the optimal balance of analytical preparation of the solution and its consistent implementation. The extremes - people of action and people-computers - are usually ineffective in the end.

2. Hello, Elena!
   Your article helped me a lot when accepting complex solution. I was choosing between three faculties at the university, and since I was applying for the second time (after a year of study at another university, I realized that it was absolutely not for me), I was afraid to make a mistake.

   And now, when the choice has already been made, I am suffering again. It seems to me that I chose the wrong direction, but nothing can be changed. I MYSELF chose where I am studying now, but I just can’t make this decision... I thought and analyzed for a very long time, and I’m already so tired of it: no matter what I choose, it seems to me that this is not what I needed. And the worst thing is that your whole fate depends on this decision. The feeling of regret is corroding... I can’t believe that just recently I could have chosen any path.

   I chose the specialty that was closer to me... But the faculty turned out to be not the best, they teach poorly there, they teach poorly, and in general it is falling apart... Maybe I should have gone to a good faculty with long-term traditions, and it doesn’t matter that I’m not so interested in the main subject like. But I would be in normal company. These thoughts haunt me.

   Maybe you have some experience or advice?

3. The choice is small - not everyone hires pensioners... There are a lot of young people... And you twitch as if under electric current, and plus you think that in the end they will also pay for the goods... Go to another region closer to the sea because... life is not rubber and the minutes inexorably count down eternity..., you will be separated from your granddaughter for a long time, again because of these minutes that bring eternity closer...??? How to choose the right solution here???????

4. Elena, I can’t accept my choice. Six months ago I bought an apartment and the choice was between two apartments in a new building (in the same building). One corner apartment is on the 12th floor, the other apartment is on the 9th floor. The layouts are completely different, but the square footage is the same. Before purchasing, I weighed all the pros and cons. But at the time of purchase, the main criterion for me was that the corner apartment is on the 12th floor and I think that it will be ventilated, but for some reason at that time I forgot that this apartment has a large loggia along all the street walls, which will possibly protect against cold, the loggia can be insulated. The corner apartment has an excellent view of the entire city. At the time of purchase and now I am aware of all the disadvantages of the apartment, which is on the 9th floor, and I am ready to compare it with them - this is a street wall in one of the rooms, the window overlooks the neighboring house, it will be possible to look into the windows of the neighbors. On the plus side, the apartment's windows face two sides - one window faces the neighboring house, the other two windows face the courtyard. One of the dubious advantages can be attributed to the layout according to the type of vest. I can’t get rid of the thought that I was given the opportunity to live in an apartment with a gorgeous view of the city, for me it’s like living in luxurious mansion, in which even door handles gold. I didn’t take advantage of this opportunity and chose an ordinary apartment on the 9th floor. And for me this thought is an unrealized opportunity to kill, not a day goes by without me thinking about it. Help me cope with the remorse itself.

5. Hello Elena, please help me with advice. I am a very indecisive person, I have been working in one place for many years, they seem to be talking about layoffs, but they don’t say anything specifically. At this job I feel free, but bored. There are days when I go to hard labor. The salary is still satisfactory. Recently I was offered a new place, a new or different interesting job, but the salary is lower. And now I am undecided, what to do? Go? What if I regret it later? If I don’t switch, they’ll lay me off and I’ll lose everything. I’ve already broken my head, I can’t sleep at night, help!

This article is for those who find themselves in a dead end situation right now. Each of us has been faced with a choice many times in our lives, and we do not always know which choice is the most correct. In this article I will try my best to answer the questions - “How to make the right choice?” or “How to make the right choice?” . This article is a continuation of the article -. Read carefully.

How to make the right choice?

Our whole life consists of some kind of choices. What you have now is the sum of your choices. The choices that every person makes are sometimes right, and sometimes completely wrong. Unfortunately, not all people have highly developed intuition and extrasensory abilities. I would even say that the vast majority do not have them. Many people are forced to follow common sense and logic. It’s just that logic can really fail. So how then to make the right choice?

For example, a person graduated from school, and how can he decide what to do next, which university to choose? Or a student graduated from a university and is now wondering how to choose the right job? What about women who dream of getting married successfully? They are interested in the question - “How to make the right choice of husband?”. And then they ask this question only when there are several candidates. After all, having chosen one person, life will turn out completely differently than if she had chosen another person. Therefore, the ability to make the right choices is very important for every person.

And whatever one may say, logic will help with this. Yes, many gurus say that logic is weak in decision making. Let them continue to think like that. Logic helps you weigh everything, compare all the facts, put the pros and cons, and then make a choice. Logic is good for solving business questions, for example, how much money needs to be invested in a project for it to pay for itself. All these calculations that they give us at universities really help. Logic will help you choose the right place to work.

To do this, you need to take a piece of paper, write down all the criteria, pros and cons, sit for two hours and then everything will become clear. Some choices take a very long time to make, sometimes even several months. I remember how my parents wanted to buy non-residential space for a business, but they could not understand whether they would make the right choice if they bought it. After all, an apartment costs a lot of money, and if the business doesn’t work in the chosen location, then all the work and money is a big waste.

I'm sure many entrepreneurs have faced this situation. And I am sure that logic and knowledge will help avoid such gross mistakes. In order for elections to always be correct, you need to know the end result very clearly. A clear final result eliminates everything unnecessary, gives a complete picture and greatly helps to make the right choice.

For example, a woman does not know which man to marry. If the feelings are approximately equal, then you will have to take a piece of paper, write down all the criteria of the man with whom this woman wants to live her whole life, compare these criteria with men, that is, determine whether this or that man has or does not have these points, and then already make a choice.

How to make the right choice?

Very often logic is powerless in decision making. In such cases, inner feelings often help to make the right choice. For example, when my parents were thinking about which store to buy ten years ago, they bought the one that made them feel the most. positive emotions. I'm not just talking about appearance The mini market itself is also the infrastructure, the area, the people. They liked everything.

And when eighteen years ago our whole family chose a dacha, we were guided by the same thing. I was five years old then, and we then traveled to probably eight villages. And when we arrived at the village that we now have, we realized that this place is truly ours. We bought it immediately without hesitation.

When you feel that such and such a choice is right, make it immediately. But there is one BUT. Some people, upon learning that you want to do something, may confuse you with their language. Many people abandoned their ventures because some individuals predicted something bad for them.

For example, a person wanted to open a business in the field of trade. When an idea comes, a person usually feels inspired. His idea is inspiring. But as soon as you tell someone about the idea, that someone will say something that makes the person afraid to come up with something and take action. For example, I want to create an English-language website. When this idea came to my mind, I was immediately inspired. Right now I'm studying English language and I simply need additional practice. The next day I started implementing the idea. Then I decided to read on the Internet what they were saying about the bourgeoisie. I asked several people what the main difficulties were, and fortunately for me, they told me that the idea was good, it was only needed for .

Then I was lucky. But it was not always so. I remember how my brother and I decided to open an ice cream shop by weight. When this idea came to me, I was happy. When I told my parents about this, my mother told me such things that it seemed to me that in this life it was better to sit in the swamp and not stick my head out. We didn’t listen to her and did everything quietly. The business was opened on April 18, 2010. Then we made the right choice, and no one regrets anything.

People prevent us from making the right choice either because of love or because of their love for us. Your environment will do its best to hold you back, and if you decide because you want it so much, change it silently. Intuition and inner feelings will help you make the right choices. People get in the way very often. Therefore, think carefully about who you should consult with.

It often happens that in making the right decision, logic is powerless and intuition is silent. The next question arises - “How to make the right choice in such a situation?”. Well Dear friends, you have to take risks here. Nobody canceled the risk. It often happens that a person does not have the slightest idea about which choice will be correct. To do or not to do? To go or not to go? Is it worth making a deal or not?

In such cases, you either do it or you don't. Many people, having taken a risk, regretted what they had done, while others regretted the missed opportunity. Whether it’s worth doing or not depends on the type and. People who take frequent risks always achieve success. Those people who do not take risks sit in the swamp silently. We then took the risk of opening our own business, and everything worked out for us. Sometimes you can't do without risk.

Now let's summarize the answers to the questions: How to make the right choice or how to make the right choice?

1. Use logic. If necessary, take a piece of paper, write down a specific result, draw up criteria, pros and cons, and compare it with what we have now.
2. Pay attention to your emotions. Intuition is suggested through emotions, not logic.
3. Consult trusted people. But remember, sometimes you have to make a choice in silence.
4. Take risks if you are confident.
5. To make the right decision, calm your mind. Once you do this, the right choice will pop up in your head.

Personally, I take risks in most cases. Sometimes I know that my choice will not work, but I need to make sure of it. This is how I gain experience. I can even give an example from life. I remember thinking for a long time whether I should advertise on one site. It's not cheap. Emotions said it was worth it, my calculations seemed to also say it was worth it, but when I placed the advertisement, my results turned out to be even worse than the worst expected result. But I gained experience, and now I’m not stupid in such matters. The choice is not always the right one, and you need to come to terms with it.

how to make the right choice, how to make the right choice

Every day we have to make dozens of decisions - to do this or that, agree or refuse.

And almost every time this is accompanied by doubts, worries and postponement of decision-making.

So how? make the right decision and learn to make the right choice?

Here are 10 ways.

1 - Just make the decision that you like.

According to statistics, 7 decisions out of 10 managers large companies turn out to be wrong. 40% of companies that were on the Fortune 500 list 20 years ago best companies the world no longer exists.

Even the most successful and experienced people make mistakes very often.

So relax, make a decision and start taking action.

You need to understand that while you are thinking, you are standing still and wasting time.

You are not a sapper for whom any mistake is fatal.

Even if you make a mistake, you have a second, third, or as many attempts as you like. Plus, every time you do something, you gain knowledge, experience and better begin to understand how to make the right choice.

2 - Determine the price of your solution.

What happens if you do this or that and the choice turns out to be wrong? Write down the possible consequences and make a decision based on this. But you should know that a decision with minimal consequences often produces weak results.

For strategic tasks, it would be a good idea to write down possible consequences your decision. With Canva, you can create an online decision tree that will help you visualize possible alternatives and make it easier to make the right decision. - https://www.canva.com/ru_ru/grafik/derevo-resheniy/

3 - Define best result - What decision will move you the most forward? Those who strive for more win in life. And those who are afraid to take risks are content ordinary life. Think, maybe sometimes it's worth taking a risk. Yes, you can lose more. But you can get more. And even if you fail, you can always return to another decision. So go for it. Success favors the brave.

4 - Ask your subconscious - most people try to make a decision based on logic. But its capabilities are limited by the amount of information that is in the mind.

Use your subconscious. In the evening, think about your problem and possible solutions. And before going to bed, ask yourself - Which solution should you choose?

And in the morning you will wake up with a clear understanding of what is worth doing.

All our experiences are stored in our subconscious. And we only get access to it in our dreams. Plus, the subconscious can connect to the unified information field of the universe. Remember, Mendeleev discovered his table in a dream.

So ask your subconscious a question and go to bed. You will learn more about this technique in this video.

5 - Do something- to accept the right decision you need to have certain information. But where can I get it? Books, videos, articles are just theories. The information you need will only be given by practical experience, which can only be obtained by doing something.

If you are in doubt or choosing from several options, just do something in the direction of each option. And you will immediately understand which solution is best for you.

6 - Ask more successful person - Such a person can help you in literally 5 minutes. He knows and can do more than you. Look for successful people around you. Sign up for training. Ask your question on a thematic forum or group. The only thing is that you don’t need to ask everyone. Listen only to those who have actually solved problems similar to yours and have real life experience overcoming them. But if there is no such person, then

7 - Introduce yourself super hero - Put yourself in the shoes of a person who is a symbol of confidence and success for you. And think about what solution he would choose.

Often, internal fears and doubts prevent you from making a decision. When you imagine yourself as a super hero, all this disappears and making a decision becomes much easier.

8 - Expand the number of options - Often people choose from 2-3 options. But there are many more possible solutions. Gather information, ask friends, think about other solutions. Such work will allow you to better understand the situation, expand your consciousness and allow you to choose the most informed decision.

9 - Let your brain sort everything out - Modern man decides a lot on the run, on emotions, in a time-poor mode.

But if you take a day of rest, calm down, stop thinking too much, then a lot becomes clearer and a decision is chosen by itself.

Eat good expression The morning is wiser than the evening. So just disconnect from the problem, do something pleasant and make a decision with a fresh mind.

10 - Write down all the pros and cons and compare

Choose 2-3 options and write each on a separate sheet. And make a list of pros and cons. This clarifies a lot and it immediately becomes clear to you which solution is more beneficial for you.

That's all.

But remember, a decision is not a decision until you act on it.

To make it easier for you, here are 50 step-by-step instructions