Who is a priest in the Orthodox Church. Presbyterian degree of ministers. Outside the church walls

One of the main directions in Christianity is Orthodoxy. It is professed by millions of people around the world: in Russia, Greece, Armenia, Georgia and other countries. The Church of the Holy Sepulcher is considered the custodian of the main shrines in Palestine. exist even in Alaska and Japan. In the homes of Orthodox believers hang icons that are picturesque images of Jesus Christ and all the saints. In the 11th century, the Christian Church split into Orthodox and Catholic. Today the majority Orthodox people lives in Russia, since one of the oldest churches is the Russian Orthodox Church, headed by the patriarch.

Priest - who is this?

There are three degrees of priesthood: deacon, priest and bishop. Then the priest - who is this? This is the name given to a priest of the lowest rank of the second degree of the Orthodox priesthood, who, with the blessing of the bishop, is allowed to independently administer six church sacraments, except for the sacrament of ordination.

Many are interested in the origin of the title priest. Who is this and how does he differ from a hieromonk? It is worth noting that the word itself Greek language translated as “priest”, in the Russian Church it is a priest, who in the monastic rank is called a hieromonk. In an official or ceremonial speech, it is customary to address priests as “Your Reverence.” Priests and hieromonks have the right to lead church life in urban and rural parishes and they are called rectors.

The exploits of the priests

During the era of great upheavals, priests and hieromonks sacrificed themselves and everything they had for the sake of faith. This is how true Christians held onto saving faith in Christ. The church never forgets their true ascetic deed and honors them with all honors. Not everyone knows how many priests died during the years of terrible trials. Their feat was so great that it is impossible to even imagine.

Hieromartyr Sergius

Priest Sergius Mechev was born on September 17, 1892 in Moscow into the family of priest Alexei Mechev. After graduating from high school with a silver medal, he went to study at Moscow University at the Faculty of Medicine, but then transferred to the Faculty of History and Philology and graduated in 1917. During his student years, he attended the theological circle named after John Chrysostom. During the war of 1914, Mechev worked as a brother of mercy on an ambulance train. In 1917, he often visited Patriarch Tikhon, who treated him with special attention. In 1918, he received the blessing to accept the priesthood from After this, being already Father Sergius, he never abandoned his faith in the Lord Jesus Christ and in the most difficult times, having gone through camps and exile, even under torture he did not abandon it, for which he was shot on December 24, 1941 within the walls of the Yaroslavl NKVD. Sergius Mechev was canonized as a holy new martyr in 2000 by the Russian Orthodox Church.

Confessor Alexey

Priest Alexey Usenko was born into the family of psalm-reader Dmitry Usenko on March 15, 1873. Having received a seminary education, he was ordained a priest and began to serve in one of the villages of Zaporozhye. So he would have worked in his humble prayers if not for the revolution of 1917. In the 1920-1930s, he was not particularly affected by persecution by the Soviet government. But in 1936, in the village of Timoshovka, Mikhailovsky district, where he lived with his family, local authorities closed the church. He was already 64 years old then. Then Priest Alexey went to work on a collective farm, but as a priest he continued his sermons, and everywhere there were people who were ready to listen to him. The authorities did not accept this and sent him to distant exile and prison. Priest Alexey Usenko resignedly endured all the hardships and bullying and until the end of his days he was faithful to Christ and the Holy Church. He probably died in BAMLAG (Baikal-Amur camp) - the day and place of his death are not known for certain; most likely, he was buried in the camp mass grave. The Zaporozhye diocese appealed to the Holy Synod of the UOC to consider the issue of canonizing Priest Alexey Usenko as a locally revered saint.

Hieromartyr Andrew

Priest Andrei Benediktov was born on October 29, 1885 in the village of Voronino in the Nizhny Novgorod province in the family of priest Nikolai Benediktov.

He, along with other clergy of Orthodox churches and laymen, was arrested on August 6, 1937 and accused of anti-Soviet conversations and participation in counter-revolutionary church conspiracies. Priest Andrei did not admit his guilt and did not testify against others. This was a real priestly feat; he died for his unshakable faith in Christ. He was canonized as a saint by the Council of Bishops of the Russian Orthodox Church in 2000.

Vasily Gundyaev

He was the grandfather of the Russian Patriarch Kirill and also became one of the brightest examples real service Orthodox Church. Vasily was born on January 18, 1907 in Astrakhan. A little later, his family moved to the Nizhny Novgorod province, to the city of Lukyanov. Vasily worked at the railway depot as a machinist. He was a very religious man and raised his children in the fear of God. The family lived very modestly. Patriarch Kirill once said that, when he was still a child, he asked his grandfather where he put the money and why he didn’t save anything either before or after the revolution. He replied that he sent all the funds to Athos. And so, when the patriarch found himself on Athos, he decided to check this fact, and, which, in principle, is not surprising, it turned out pure truth. In the Simonometra Monastery there are old archival records from the beginning of the twentieth century for the eternal remembrance of Priest Vasily Gundyaev.

During the years of revolution and cruel trials, the priest defended and preserved his faith to the end. He spent about 30 years in persecution and imprisonment, during which time he spent time in 46 prisons and 7 camps. But these years did not break Vasily’s faith; he died as an eighty-year-old man on October 31, 1969 in the village of Obrochny, Mordovian region. His Holiness Patriarch Kirill, while a student at the Leningrad Academy, participated in the funeral service for his grandfather along with his father and relatives, who also became priests.

"Priest-san"

Very interesting Feature Film filmed by Russian filmmakers in 2014. His name is "Priest-san". The audience immediately had many questions. Priest - who is this? About whom we'll talk in the picture? The idea for the film was suggested by Ivan Okhlobystin, who once saw a real Japanese among the priests in a temple. This fact plunged him into deep thoughts and study.

It turns out that in 1861, during the persecution of foreigners from the islands, Hieromonk Nikolai Kasatkin (Japanese) came to Japan with the mission of spreading Orthodoxy, risking his life. He devoted several years to studying Japanese, culture and philosophy in order to translate the Bible into this language. And then a few years later, or rather in 1868, the priest was waylaid by the samurai Takuma Sawabe, who wanted to kill him for preaching things alien to the Japanese. But the priest did not flinch and said: “How can you kill me if you don’t know why?” He suggested telling about the life of Christ. And imbued with the priest’s story, Takuma, being Japanese samurai, became Orthodox priest- Father Pavel. He went through many trials, lost his family, his estate and became the right hand of his father Nikolai.

In 1906, Nicholas of Japan was elevated to the rank of archbishop. In the same year, the Kyoto Vicariate was founded by the Orthodox Church in Japan. He died on February 16, 1912. Equal to the Apostles Nicholas of Japan canonized.

In conclusion, I would like to note that all the people discussed in the article kept their faith like a spark from a big fire and spread it around the world so that people would know that there is no greater truth than Christian Orthodoxy.

The hierarchical principle and structure must be observed in any organization, including the Russian Orthodox Church, which has its own church hierarchy. Surely every person who attends services or is otherwise involved in the activities of the church paid attention to the fact that each clergyman has a certain rank and status. This is expressed in different colors robes, type of headdress, presence or absence of jewelry, the right to perform certain sacred ceremonies.

Hierarchy of clergy in the Russian Orthodox Church

The clergy of the Russian Orthodox Church can be divided into two large groups:

• white clergy (those who can marry and have children);
• black clergy (those who renounced worldly life and accepted monastic orders).

Ranks in the white clergy

Even the Old Testament scripture says that before the Nativity, the prophet Moses appointed people whose task was to become an intermediate link in God’s communication with people. In the modern church system, this function is performed by white priests. The lower representatives of the white clergy do not have holy orders; they include: altar boy, psalm-reader, subdeacon.

Altar boy- this is a person who helps the clergyman in conducting services. Such people are also called sextons. Staying in this rank is a mandatory step before receiving holy orders. The person performing the duties of an altar server is secular, that is, he has the right to leave the church if he changes his mind about connecting his life with serving the Lord.

His responsibilities include:

• Timely lighting of candles and lamps, monitoring their safe combustion;
• Preparation of priests' robes;
• Offer prosphora, Cahors and other attributes of religious rites in a timely manner;
• Light a fire in the censer;
• Bring a towel to your lips during communion;
• Maintaining internal order in church premises.

If necessary, the altar server can ring bells and read prayers, but he is forbidden to touch the throne and be between the altar and the Royal Doors. The altar boy wears ordinary clothes, with a surplice on top.

Acolyte(otherwise known as a reader) is another representative of the white lower clergy. His main responsibility: reading prayers and words from holy scripture (as a rule, they know 5-6 main chapters from the Gospel), explaining to people the basic postulates of the life of a true Christian. For special merits he may be ordained subdeacon. This procedure is carried out by a cleric of higher rank. The psalm-reader is allowed to wear a cassock and skufia.

Subdeacon- assistant to the priest in conducting services. His attire: surplice and orarion. When blessed by the bishop (he can also elevate the psalmist or altar server to the rank of subdeacon), the subdeacon receives the right to touch the throne, as well as enter the altar through the Royal Doors. His task is to wash the hands of the priest during services and give him the items necessary for the rituals, for example, ripids and trikirium.

Church ranks of the Orthodox Church

The above-mentioned church ministers do not have holy orders, and, therefore, are not clergy. These are ordinary people living in the world, but wanting to become closer to God and church culture. They are accepted into their positions with the blessing of clergy of higher rank.

Deaconate degree of clergy

Deacon- the lowest rank among all clergy with holy orders. His main task is to be the priest's assistant during worship; they are mainly engaged in reading the Gospel. Deacons do not have the right to conduct worship services independently. As a rule, they perform their service in parish churches. Gradually, this church rank is losing its significance, and their representation in the church is steadily declining. Deacon ordination (the procedure for elevation to the rank of ecclesiastical rank) is carried out by the bishop.

Protodeacon- chief deacon at a temple or church. In the last century, this rank was received by a deacon for special merits; currently, 20 years of service in a lower church rank are required. The protodeacon has a characteristic robe - an orarion with the words “Holy! Holy! Holy." As a rule, these are people with a beautiful voice (they perform psalms and sing at services).

Presbytery Degree of Ministers

Priest translated from Greek means “priest.” Minor title of the white clergy. The consecration is also carried out by the bishop (bishop). The duties of the priest include:

• Conducting sacraments, divine services and other religious ceremonies;
• Conducting communion;
• To carry the covenants of Orthodoxy to the masses.

The priest does not have the right to consecrate antimensions (plates of material made of silk or linen with a particle of the relics of an Orthodox martyr sewn into it, located in the altar on the throne; a necessary attribute for conducting a full liturgy) and to conduct the sacraments of ordination of the priesthood. Instead of a hood he wears a kamilavka.

Archpriest- a title awarded to representatives of the white clergy for special merits. The archpriest, as a rule, is the rector of the temple. His attire during services and church sacraments is an epitrachelion and chasuble. An archpriest awarded the right to wear a miter is called a miter.

Several archpriests can serve in one cathedral. Ordination to the archpriest is carried out by the bishop with the help of consecration - the laying on of hands with prayer. Unlike consecration, it is carried out in the center of the temple, outside the altar.

Protopresbyter- the highest rank for members of the white clergy. Awarded in exceptional cases as a reward for special services to the church and society.

The highest church ranks belong to the black clergy, that is, such dignitaries are prohibited from having a family. A representative of the white clergy can also take this path if he renounces worldly life, and his wife supports her husband and takes monastic vows.

Also, dignitaries who become widowers take this path, since they do not have the right to remarry.

The ranks of the black clergy

These are people who have taken monastic vows. They are prohibited from marrying and having children. They completely renounce worldly life, taking vows of chastity, obedience and non-covetousness (voluntary renunciation of wealth).

The lower ranks of the black clergy have many similarities with the corresponding ranks of the white clergy. The hierarchy and responsibilities can be compared using the following table:

Episcopal degree of clergy

Bishop belongs to the category of bishops. In the process of ordination, they received the highest grace of God and therefore have the right to carry out any sacred actions, including the ordination of deacons. All bishops have the same rights, the eldest of them is the archbishop (has the same functions as the bishop; elevation to rank is carried out by the patriarch). Only the bishop has the right to bless the service with an antimis.

Wears a red robe and a black hood. The following address to a bishop is accepted: “Vladyka” or “Your Eminence.”

He is the leader of the local church - diocese. Chief priest of the district. Elected Holy Synod by order of the patriarch. If necessary, a suffragan bishop is appointed to assist the diocesan bishop. Bishops bear a title that includes the name of the cathedral city. A candidate for bishop must be a representative of the black clergy and over 30 years of age.

Metropolitan - highest title bishop. Reports directly to the patriarch. He has a characteristic robe: a blue mantle and a white hood with a cross made of precious stones.

The rank is given for high merits to society and the church; it is the oldest, if you start counting from the formation of Orthodox culture.

Performs the same functions as a bishop, differing from him in the advantage of honor. Before the restoration of the patriarchate in 1917, there were only three episcopal sees in Russia, with which the rank of metropolitan was usually associated: St. Petersburg, Kiev and Moscow. Currently, there are more than 30 metropolitans in the Russian Orthodox Church.

Patriarch- the highest rank of the Orthodox Church, the main priest of the country. Official representative of the Russian Orthodox Church. Patriarch is translated from Greek as “the power of the father.” He is elected at the Council of Bishops, to which the patriarch reports. This is a lifelong rank, deposition and excommunication of the person who received it, possible only in the most exceptional cases. When the place of the patriarch is not occupied (the period between the death of the previous patriarch and the election of a new one), his duties are temporarily performed by an appointed locum tenens.

Has primacy of honor among all bishops of the Russian Orthodox Church. Carries out the management of the church together with the Holy Synod. Contacts with representatives catholic church and high dignitaries of other faiths, as well as with government authorities. Issues decrees on the election and appointment of bishops, manages the institutions of the Synod. Receives complaints against bishops, giving them action, rewards clergy and laity with church awards.

A candidate for the patriarchal throne must be a bishop of the Russian Orthodox Church, have a higher theological education, be at least 40 years of age, and enjoy a good reputation and the trust of the church and people.

There is a science that is studied for more than one semester in seminaries, called “Pastoral Theology,” where all aspects of priestly ministry are examined in detail. But I cannot recommend to our sister who asked the question to read the excellent book of Archimandrite Cyprian Kern “Pastoral Theology”; I understand that this is not what is expected of us.

The priesthood existed before Christ came into the world - in the Old Testament Church - and to say that the New Testament priesthood replaced the Old Testament and did not inherit anything from that priesthood would be wrong. Because the Old Testament Church is the mother of our Church - we were born in the bosom of the Old Testament Church. Indeed, a lot has already dilapidated and outdated, and is no longer necessary and unacceptable, but, at the same time, something remains. In the Old Testament Church it was absolutely clear that the main work of the priest was temple worship and sacrifice. And this, of course, remains to this day. A priest is a person who performs worship in a temple and sacrifices.

Another thing is that sacrifice has now become different. In the Old Testament church, animals were sacrificed: lambs, calves, doves, there were grain offerings, etc. And two thousand years ago, Jesus Christ offered Himself as a living sacrifice for all humanity, for the sins of the world. From that moment on, the main sacrifice, which abolished all those sacrifices that were in Old Testament times, for us became the Eucharistic Sacrifice, the sacrament of the Body and Blood of Jesus Christ. When we, in memory of Jesus Christ, offer bread and wine to the Lord and pray and ask that through the influx of the Holy Spirit, bread and wine become the body and blood of Christ. And believers, when receiving communion, are united with Christ in the most intimate way.

This is the main thing that happens in the Church and the priest is entrusted with performing this service before the throne of God. This is the first and most important thing. No other person who is not a bearer of holy orders - no matter how wonderful, kind, talented - can perform this ministry, only an ordained priest or bishop.

Second. If we remember the Gospel, then Jesus Christ gave his disciples-apostles the power to “knit and loosen.” As the Gospel of John tells, after his resurrection, He breathed on his disciples-apostles and said: “Receive the Holy Spirit. Whose sins you forgive, they will be forgiven; Whoever you leave it on, they will stay on it.” That is, forgiveness of sins (or non-forgiveness) was entrusted to the apostles. And we, priests, according to the teachings of the Church, are the successors of the apostles, because the hierarchy of the Orthodox Church is built on apostolic succession. The gift that the Lord gave to the apostles is transmitted to bishops through the ordination, and to priests through the ordination of bishops. When a person comes to God to ask for forgiveness for the sins that he has committed, he cannot do this without going through the priest.

- What does “knit and solve” mean?

To testify that a person’s sin is forgiven or not forgiven. “Allow” - that is, release to freedom, and “bind” - vice versa. Therefore, when a person comes and repents of some sins, the priest can tell him either “your sins are forgiven” or they are not forgiven. Sometimes a priest can say: “I’m sorry, but you still need to work a lot to confirm the authenticity of your repentance.” That is, the priest can impose penance, excommunicate from communion for some time. There are such sins - abortion, some terrible crimes... - when the priest simply should not immediately tell the person “all your sins are forgiven.”

- So, a person becomes a priest not through the act of appointment to a position, and not even through education, but precisely through the Sacrament of Ordination?

Yes, sure. Priesthood is a Sacrament, a sacred act, when in a mysterious, mystical way, through the ordination of a bishop and prayer, the grace of the Holy Spirit descends on a person, he is given the Gift of performing the Divine Liturgy, and “knitting and solving.”

Sometimes they ask the question: “Why do you need a priest to ask God for forgiveness for your sins? I don’t need a mediator between God and man. I myself, when my conscience torments me, will pray to God: “Lord, forgive me!” and I will sincerely cry. Why should I go to some priest who may be ten times more sinful than me?” And the answer to this question is very simple. It is not we, the priests, who took it upon ourselves - open the Gospel and everything is said there very clearly and clearly. It is not the priest, of course, who forgives sins - the person turns to God - but the priest is entrusted with testifying before God that a person repents of his sins, and vice versa - to testify to a person that his sins are forgiven, or not forgiven.

These sacraments, confession and communion, are the ones most often resorted to by a genuine Christian who really tries to live according to the Gospel. Without this it is impossible to live a Christian life. And it is impossible to perform these sacraments without a priest.

The third responsibility of priests is shepherding. This is what Jesus Christ said to the Apostle Peter - “Feed my lambs” (“feed my sheep”).

Shepherding, in my opinion, has two sides. On the one hand, this is the leadership of the church community. Because Christians should not be each on their own in their relationship with God. Genuine faith, if it is truly Christian, evangelical faith, it must unite people with each other. There is a Universal Church - it consists of local Churches, local Churches consist of dioceses, dioceses consist of parishes. And the parish doesn’t always work out, but ideally it should be a community of believers. That is, this should not be the case when people come to some temple on their own, everyone prayed and left. A person should come to the temple as to a family, to his brothers and sisters. Christians who are members of the same parish or the same community (if it is successful and established) should be bound by a much closer relationship than simply the fact that they prayed together in the same church. They must live each other's lives, relate to each other's needs, help, bear each other's burdens. The creation, organization and management of such a community is the task of the priest, the task of the shepherd.

This is on the one hand. On the other hand, pastoring also includes personal, individual spiritual help to those people who come to the priest. Because really man walking to God, and the priest must do everything to help the person in this meeting, so that this meeting takes place. And help a person to set himself up in such a way, to organize his spiritual, prayer, personal life so that his heart opens towards God. This is also shepherding.

- Divine services, as you know, are free for parishioners. Is pastoring paid or free?

Free, of course. Of course, the need has always been implied for a person, when coming to the Church, to make some kind of sacrifice, but we should not put this in the Orthodox Church an indispensable condition, this should be a person’s personal feeling of his personal duty towards God.

- Including baptism? That people are unhappy that baptism is expensive.

I can immediately say that it is easy for me to speak in this regard, because in our temple there are no prices for anything. The size of the donation is up to the donor. At the same time, I always add that if you don’t have the opportunity to donate at all, then it won’t hurt - we will still baptize, marry, sing, remember, etc.

- How is shepherding and individual assistance to a person in his spiritual life practically carried out?

Most often, it all starts with the fact that a person simply comes to the priest with some problem, for advice. At the same time, he may not quite understand what he expects from the priest, what he wants to hear. When a person comes for the first time, I wonder what brought you there. And the answers can be very different: either someone recommended it from a friend, or I’ve wanted it for a long time, read books, kept thinking... In general, it happens in different ways. A person arrives, but then the mutual work of the three begins. First of all - God, then - the priest, as a worker of God, and this man himself. And if the priest, for his part, and the man, for his part, strive to ensure that, having taken this step towards God, the person does not stop, turn around and go back, but so that he takes the next step, then there is a second and the third and fourth steps, and in the end, at some stage, a person joins church life organically. Well, then the work happens mainly during confession.

- How does communication between a parishioner and a priest take place?

I believe that the first thing a priest should do here is listen to a person and let him speak, try to understand him and pray for him, of course. And then everything depends on what the person came with and what questions he has. There are different approaches to spiritual direction. In my opinion, it is very important that the priest never forgets about human freedom and the responsibility for his decisions, which a person must bear himself.

Sometimes they tell me that some priest demands unquestioning obedience, blesses people to do something that a person did not intend to do, almost in the most severe way sets the condition that “if you don’t do this, then forget the way to our temple.” etc. Such cases happen, and they seem completely wrong to me. Many people have already spoken about this negative phenomenon - about young age. And the late Patriarch Alexei II spoke specifically about this. The priest should not take on the role of an elder; the priest should help the person himself make this or that decision, and prayerfully support him.

For myself, I have identified a certain principle, which I conventionally call the “Demon of Socrates” method. The word “demon” confuses us all, for us “demon” has a minus sign, but in Greek mythology by demon was simply meant a spirit, without any positive or negative meaning. So Socrates says that with youth he feels the presence of a certain spirit next to him, which he called a demon (in in a good way this word). And who tells him in some difficult life situations gives him various instructions. But here’s what’s interesting: it never happened that this “inner voice” of his told him what to do. But he always talked about what he shouldn't do. Therefore, if I do something and he is silent, doesn’t say anything, then I do it. But if he tells me that “don’t do this”, “don’t go there” or something else, then for me this is a warning.

- If it raises doubts?

Yes, if in doubt. I think that when a very close and kind relationship has developed with a confessor, it is not superfluous when a person simply takes a blessing for something that, as it seems to them, does not raise doubts. There's nothing wrong with that. But, in any case, the priest can sometimes say a strong “no,” “don’t do that.” Therefore, when people come to me, tell me the situation, and then ask the question “what should I do in this situation? what should I do?" - I never say right away, but ask the question: “What do you think?” - "I do not know". Well, since you don't know, does that mean you want me to make a decision for you? It’s easier this way, of course - “I don’t know what to do, I’ll go to the priest. As he says, so I will do.” It is not right. If you don’t know, think about it, and I’ll pray that the Lord will help you make a decision. And when you make a decision, you do not immediately implement it, but still come and say that you have decided. Because sometimes you immediately see that a person wants to do something that is clearly sinful and harmful. And then you tell him that he shouldn’t do this, it will be bad. And sometimes you don't see it.

That is, leadership should often come down not to instructions on what to do, but on the contrary - what not to do. And of course, where a priest imposes his will on a person, passing it off as the will of God, this is an alarm signal.

The monastery is a different matter. The vow of obedience, which is given during monastic tonsure, implies that the monk refuses of one's own will and completely entrusts himself to his spiritual superiors - the elder or his spiritual leader in the monastery, and he must already do everything that he is told. But this is a monk. We are dealing with lay people. And here such unquestioning obedience, in my opinion, is not only unnecessary, but simply even harmful. It ultimately produces “spiritual cripples.”

About punishments and social security

What to do with a priest who does not meet the standards of a priest?

The answer is simple. Take any issue of the Moscow Diocesan Gazette magazine, where the decrees of the ruling bishop are published. And in almost every issue, among these decrees, there is this: “By decree of such and such, to prohibit the priesthood of such and such for behavior inappropriate for the rank of a priest...” And often it is specifically stated why.

Priests are deprived of the opportunity to serve when it is discovered that their behavior, their way of life does not correspond to what a priest should have. There is the institution of the Church Court. In every case, when it becomes known that a priest has committed some act that is incompatible with his ministry, it is studied carefully, something like an investigation takes place to find out how true it is, and sometimes a commission is appointed. They come, find out, question, talk with the priests and with those people who were present. And if all this is confirmed, then such a priest is punished.

And, unlike the situation with officials, when they are removed from one place and appointed to another, if a priest is banned from serving, then he can no longer serve anywhere?

Punishments vary. Sometimes just one type of punishment is the transfer of a priest to another place. The biggest punishment is prohibition from the priesthood. More than this is deprivation of holy orders. Such cases happen, but the Council decides this. Because after all, this is already irreversible. And so - prohibition in the priesthood or transfer. What translation? For example, I am the rector of the temple. If it turns out that I did something that seduces people and harms the Church, I can be transferred to some church where I will no longer be the rector, but where I will be subordinate to another, more experienced priest, where I will be under his control, I will be subordinate to him, and he will re-educate me.

- If you were banned from serving, can this have a reverse effect?

Usually, when they ban, they say how long the priest is banned for. It all depends on how the priest behaves while he is under ban. Because it is different variants. One was forbidden - and that’s it, he went to engage in worldly activities. As a rule, such people rarely return. And there are - I know such priests - who deeply experience what happened to them, sincerely repent, still remain with the Church, but now serve as either psalm-readers, or altar servers, or teach Sunday school, or sing in the choir. That is, they remain in the Church, but do not perform sacred rites, because they no longer have the right to perform them. And they wait patiently until the hierarchy considers that the person has been punished enough and can return to service.

- So, if someone has any serious complaints against a priest, then they should write to the local bishop?

In general, yes...

You know, I say that we need to write to the bishop, and at the same time I think: what am I saying? Because so much has already been written about all of us, and the bishop has to read so much... Because there are actually justified discontent and complaints , but much more often it happens differently. There are dissatisfied people everywhere. A good priest will always have those who are dissatisfied with him - at least because he imposed penance (hurt), or does not agree with some point of view. There are a lot of people in the church who have read a lot of books and, it seems to them, know better than the priest how to ring correctly, how to properly end the Liturgy. Sometimes, indeed, “there is no smoke without fire,” and the priest somewhere made a mistake and weakness, but this can be “inflated” in a manner inconsistent with the offense. Therefore, there are a lot of complaints against priests, and most of them are the work of unscrupulous people.

- Are more such complaints written by church people or non-church people?

Church. For those outside the church - what we are, what we are not.

- How does the bishop cope with so much empty information?

That's what deans exist for. Each priest is in a specific deanery. The deans are precisely responsible for the deanery service, the behavior of the clergy who are in the deanery. He must figure it out, find out how true this is. Then the dean answers the bishop whether this fact really took place, or whether the fact has not been confirmed, that this is slander. Here it is very difficult for the poor dean, because such a responsibility is enormous, but they must find out and bring to the attention of the bishop how justified this or that complaint is.

- Is there a system within the Church? social protection or “everything is the will and mercy of God”? After all, if a priest retires, or a family is left without a father, does the state support system provide assistance?

Now, after perestroika, we have exactly the same social security system as all workers. Priest on general principles pays taxes in Pension Fund and receives a pension on a general basis.

But I would add to this that our state pensions are still small. In our deanery (but I think this is not only ours, but in many other deaneries) there is also such a form of social security that each parish contributes a certain amount of money once a quarter. And we distribute this amount of money, first of all, to the widows of priests. After all, priests, most often, have many children. And if the priest died, then the wife often remains with many children. Therefore, the widows of all the priests of our deanery receive some kind of allowance, a “sharing contribution” as if from all the priests.

Hieromonk Aristarchus (Lokhanov)

With the blessing of His Grace Simon, Bishop of Murmansk and Monchegorsk

General information about church etiquette

The years of militant atheism in our country, which ultimately led to historical and religious oblivion, interrupted many traditions that held generations together and gave sanctification to life through fidelity to age-old customs, legends, and institutions. What has been lost (and now only in parts and with difficulty is being restored) is what our great-grandfathers absorbed from childhood and what later became natural - the rules of behavior, manners, courtesy, permissibility, which developed over a long time on the basis of the norms of Christian morality. Conventionally, these rules can be called church etiquette. In general, etiquette is a set of rules of behavior and treatment accepted in certain social circles (there are court, diplomatic, military etiquette, as well as general civil etiquette), and in a figurative sense - the form of behavior itself. The specifics of church etiquette are primarily related to what constitutes the main content religious life a believer - with reverence for God, with piety.
To differentiate the two terms − piety And church etiquette– Let’s briefly touch on some basic concepts of moral theology (according to the course “Orthodox Moral Theology” by Archimandrite Plato. – , 1994).
Human life passes simultaneously in three spheres of existence:
- natural;
- public;
- religious.
Possessing the gift of freedom, a person is oriented:
- on one’s own being;
- on an ethical attitude towards the environment;
- on a religious attitude towards God.
The basic principle of a person’s relationship to his own existence is honor (indicating that there is a person), while the norm is chastity (individual integrity and internal integrity) and nobility (a high degree of moral and intellectual formation).
The basic principle of a person’s relationship with his neighbor is honesty, while truthfulness and sincerity are the norm.
Honor and integrity are prerequisites and conditions religious piety. They give us the right to boldly turn to God, recognizing our own dignity and at the same time seeing in another person a companion to God and a co-heir of God's grace.
The entire life of a believer, who is called upon to remain spiritually sober and not deceive his heart, risking falling into empty piety, should be subordinated to exercise in piety (see:), success in it (see:).
Piety is like a vertical line, directed from earth to heaven (man<->God), church etiquette is a horizontal (person<->Human). At the same time, you cannot rise to heaven without loving a person, and you cannot love a person without loving God: If we love each other, then God abides in us(), And Not loving brother his own, whom he sees, how can he love God, whom he does not see? ().
Thus, spiritual foundations determine all the rules of church etiquette, which should regulate relations between believers striving for God.
There is an opinion that “there is no point in being mannered,” since God looks at the heart. The latter, of course, is true, but virtue itself is offensive if it is combined with repulsive manners. Of course, horrifying intentions can be hidden behind brilliant treatment, which is due to the symbolic nature of our behavior, when, say, a gesture can reveal our true state or desire, but it can also hide. So, Pontius Pilate in one modern novel, washing his hands of the trial of Christ, gives this interpretation of his gesture: “Let at least the gesture be elegant and the symbol impeccable, if the act is dishonorable.” Similar abilities of people with the help of ambiguity of gesture, good manners hiding a bad heart cannot serve as an excuse in the absence of church “good form.” “Bad form” in church can become a stumbling block for a person with little church on his path to God. Let us remember the groans and complaints of converts who come to churches and are sometimes met with simply barbaric attitude towards themselves by those who consider themselves churchgoers. How much rudeness, primitive mentoring, hostility and unforgiveness can be found in other communities! How many people - especially among the youth and intelligentsia - have lost their parishes because of this! And someday they, these departed people, will come to the temple again? And what answer will those who served as such a temptation on the way to the temple give?!
God-fearing and church-educated. a person, even if he sees something indecent in the behavior of another, corrects his brother or sister only with love and respect. Indicative in this regard is an incident from the life of the monk: “This elder retained one habit from his worldly life, namely, sometimes, when sitting down, he crossed his legs, which might not seem entirely decent. Some of the brothers saw this, but none of them dared to reprimand him, because everyone respected him very much. But only one elder, Abba Pimen, said to the brethren: “Go to Abba Arseny, and I will sit with him as he sometimes sits; then you reprimand me that I don’t sit well. I will ask you for forgiveness; At the same time, we will correct the elder too.”
They went and did so. The Monk Arseny, realizing that it was indecent for a monk to sit like that, gave up his habit” (Lives of the Saints. Month of May. Eighth Day).
Politeness, as a component of etiquette, for a spiritual person can become a means of attracting the grace of God. Usually, politeness is understood not only as the art of showing by external signs the inner respect that we have for a person, but also the art of being friendly with people for whom we have no disposition. What is this - hypocrisy, hypocrisy? For a spiritual person who knows the innermost dialectic of external and internal, politeness can become a means on the path of acquiring and developing humility.
There is a well-known expression of one ascetic: do the external, and for the external the Lord will also give the internal, for the external belongs to man, and the internal belongs to God. When external signs virtue, virtue itself gradually increases in us. This is how the bishop wisely wrote about this:
“Whoever anticipates the greetings of others with his own greeting, expresses helpfulness and respect towards everyone, prefers everyone everywhere to himself, silently endures various griefs and strains himself in every possible way mentally and practically and in self-abasement for the sake of Christ, at first he experiences many difficult and difficult moments for personal pride.
But for the uncomplaining and patient fulfillment of God’s commandment about humility, the grace of the Holy Spirit is poured on him from above, softens his heart for sincere love for God and for people, and his bitter experiences are replaced by sweet ones.
Thus, acts of love without corresponding feelings of love are ultimately rewarded by an outpouring of love in the heart. heavenly love. He who humbles himself begins to feel in the faces around him relatives in Christ and is disposed towards them with goodwill.”
The bishop wrote about this: “He who acts in a churchly manner, as he should, continuously undergoes the science of reverence before God, with the dedication of everything to Him.”
In communicating with people - both church and non-church - the holy fathers advise remembering that we must fight not against the sinner, but against sin and always give a person the opportunity to correct himself, remembering at the same time that he, having repented in the recesses of his heart, can be , has already been pardoned by God.
We see, therefore, that, in contrast to secular etiquette, the rules of conduct in a church environment, being closely connected with piety, lead to the purification and transformation of the heart by God's grace which is given to the one who works and strives. Therefore, church etiquette should be understood not only as a set of rules of conduct adopted in order to preserve the church body, but also as a path of ascent to Christ.
To make it easier to use this small manual, we have divided it into the following parts: rules of conduct in the parish; rules of conduct in monasteries; how to behave at a reception with the bishop; Orthodox behavior outside the church.

On arrival

When contacting the clergy, in order to avoid mistakes, it is necessary to have a certain minimum of knowledge about the priesthood.
In Orthodoxy there are three degrees of priesthood: deacon, priest, bishop. Even before being ordained as a deacon, the protege must decide whether he will serve as a priest while being married (white clergy) or having become a monk (black clergy). Since the last century, the Russian Church has also had the institution of celibacy, that is, one is ordained with a vow of celibacy (“Celibacy” means “single” in Latin). Deacons and celibate priests also belong to the white clergy. Currently, monastic priests serve not only in monasteries, they are often also in parishes, both in the city and in the countryside. The bishop must necessarily be from the black clergy. The priestly hierarchy can be represented as follows:

If a monk accepts a schema (the highest monastic degree - a great angelic image), then the prefix “schema” is added to the name of his rank - schemamonk, schema-hierodeacon, schema-hieromonk (or hieroschemamonk), schema-abbot, schema-archimandrite, schema-bishop (the schema-bishop must at the same time leave the management of the diocese ).
When dealing with the clergy, one should strive for a neutral style of speech. Thus, the address “father” (without using a name) is not neutral. It is either familiar or functional (characteristic of the way clergy address each other: “Fathers and brothers. I ask for your attention”).
The question of what form (to “you” or “you”) should be addressed in the church environment is decided unambiguously – to “you” (although we say in prayer to God Himself: “leave it to us”, “have mercy on me” ). However, it is clear that in close relationships, communication switches to “you”. And yet, to outsiders, the manifestation of close relationships in the church is perceived as a violation of the norm. Thus, the wife of a deacon or priest, of course, speaks first name to her husband at home, but such an address in the parish hurts the ear and undermines the authority of the clergyman.
It should be remembered that in the church environment it is customary to treat the use of a proper name in the form in which it sounds in Church Slavonic. That’s why they say: “Father John” (not “Father Ivan”), “Deacon Sergius” (and not “Deacon Sergei”), “Patriarch Alexy” (and not “Alexey” and not “Alexy”).

Appeal to the deacon

The deacon is the priest's assistant. He does not have the grace-filled power that a priest possesses and which is given in the sacrament of ordination to the priesthood. Because of this, a deacon cannot independently, without a priest, serve the liturgy, baptize, confess, unction, crown (that is, perform the sacraments), perform a funeral service, or consecrate a house (that is, perform services). Accordingly, they do not turn to him with a request to perform sacraments and services and do not ask for a blessing. But, of course, a deacon can help with advice and prayer.
The deacon is addressed with the words: “Father Deacon.” For example: “Father Deacon, can you tell me where to find the Father Superior?” If they want to know the name of a clergyman, they usually ask as follows: “Excuse me, what is your holy name? (this is how you can address any Orthodox Christian). If a proper name is used, it must be preceded by “father.” For example: “Father Andrey, let me ask you a question.” If they talk about the deacon in the third person, then they should say: “Father Deacon told me...”, or “Father Vladimir said...”, or “Deacon Paul just left.”

Appeal to the priest

In church practice, it is not customary to greet a priest with the words “Hello.”
The priest himself, when introducing himself, must say: “Priest (or priest) Vasily Ivanov”, “Archpriest Gennady Petrov”, “Hegumen Leonid”; but it would be a violation of church etiquette to say: “I am Father Mikhail Sidorov.”
In the third person, referring to a priest, they usually say: “Father the rector blessed”, “Father Michael believes...”. But it hurts the ear: “Priest Fyodor advised.” Although in a multi-clergy parish, where there may be priests with the same names, to distinguish them they say: “Archpriest Nikolai is on a business trip, and Priest Nikolai is giving communion.” Or in this case, the surname is added to the name: “Father Nikolai Maslov is now at a reception with the Bishop.”
The combination of “father” and the priest’s surname (“Father Kravchenko”) is used, but rarely and carries a connotation of formality and detachment.
Knowledge of all this is necessary, but sometimes it turns out to be insufficient due to the multi-situational nature of parish life. Let's consider some situations. What should a layman do if he finds himself in a society where there are several priests? There may be many variations and subtleties here, but general rule This is: they take the blessing first of all from the priests of senior rank, that is, first from the archpriests, then from the priests. If you have already taken a blessing from two or three priests, and there are three or four more priests nearby, take a blessing from them too. But if you see that for some reason this is difficult, say: “Bless, honest fathers” and bow. Note that in Orthodoxy it is not customary to use the words “holy father”; they say: “honest father” (for example: “Pray for me, honest father”).
Another situation: a group of believers in the courtyard of the temple comes under the blessing of the priest. In this case, you should do this: men approach first (if there are clergy among those gathered, then they approach first) - according to seniority, then - women (also according to seniority). If a family is eligible for blessing, then the husband, wife, and then the children (according to seniority) come up first. If they want to introduce someone to the priest, they say: “Father Peter, this is my wife. Please bless her."
What to do if you meet a priest on the street, in transport, in public place(in the mayor's reception room, store, etc.)? Even if he is in civilian clothes, you can approach him and take his blessing, seeing, of course, that this will not interfere with his work. If it is impossible to take the blessing, they limit themselves to a slight bow.
When saying goodbye, as well as when meeting, the layman again asks the priest for a blessing: “Forgive me, father, and bless me.”

Mutual greetings of the laity

Because we are one in Christ, believers call each other “brother” or “sister.” These appeals are used quite often (although perhaps not to the same extent as in the Western branch of Christianity) in church life. This is how believers address the entire congregation: “Brothers and sisters.” These beautiful words express the deep unity of believers, which is spoken of in the prayer: “Unite us all from the one Bread and Cup of Communion to each other in the One Holy Spirit of Communion.” IN in a broad sense words, both the bishop and the priest are also brothers for a layman.
In the church environment, it is not customary to call even older people by their patronymics; they are called only by their first names (that is, the way we approach Communion, to Christ).
When laypeople meet, men usually kiss each other on the cheek at the same time as they shake hands; women do without a handshake. Ascetic rules impose restrictions on greeting a man and a woman through kissing: it is enough to greet each other with a word and a bow of the head (even on Easter, rationality and sobriety are recommended so as not to introduce passion into the Easter kissing).
Relations between believers should be filled with simplicity and sincerity, with a humble readiness to immediately ask for forgiveness when wrong. Small dialogues are typical for the church environment: “Sorry, brother (sister).” - “God will forgive you, forgive me.” When parting, believers do not say to each other (as is customary in the world): “All the best!”, but: “God bless,” “I ask for prayers,” “With God,” “God’s help,” “Guardian Angel,” etc. .P.
If confusion often arises in the world: how to refuse something without offending the interlocutor, then in the Church this question is solved in the simplest and most simple way. in the best possible way: “Forgive me, I cannot agree to this, because it is a sin” or “Forgive me, but this does not have the blessing of my confessor.” And thus the tension is quickly relieved; in the world this would require a lot of effort.

Conversation behavior

The attitude of a lay person to a priest as a bearer of grace received by him in the sacrament of the Priesthood, as a person appointed by the hierarchy to shepherd a flock of verbal sheep, must be filled with reverence and respect. When communicating with a clergyman, it is necessary to ensure that speech, gestures, facial expressions, posture, and gaze are decent. This means that speech should not contain expressive and especially rude words, jargon, with which speech in the world is full. Gestures and facial expressions should be kept to a minimum (it is known that stingy gestures are a sign of a well-mannered person). During a conversation, you cannot touch the priest or become familiar. When communicating, maintain a certain distance. Violation of distance (being too close to the interlocutor) is a violation of the norms of even worldly etiquette. The pose should not be cheeky, much less provocative. It is not customary to sit if the priest is standing; sit down after being asked to sit down. The gaze, which is usually least subject to conscious control, should not be intent, studying, or ironic. Very often it is the look - meek, humble, downcast - that immediately speaks of a well-educated person, in our case - a churchgoer.
In general, you should always try to listen to the other person without boring the interlocutor with your long-windedness and loquaciousness. In a conversation with a priest, a believer must remember that through the priest, as a minister of the Mysteries of God, the Lord Himself can often speak. That is why parishioners are so attentive to the words of their spiritual mentor.
Needless to say, the laity in communicating with each other are guided by the same things; standards of behavior.

Communication by letter

Written communication (correspondence), although not as widespread as oral communication, also exists in the church environment and has its own rules. Once upon a time it was almost an art, and the epistolary heritage of church writers or even ordinary believers can now only be surprised and admired as something unattainable.
Church calendar– this is a complete holiday. It is not surprising that the most common messages among believers are congratulations on holidays: Easter, Merry Christmas, patronal feast day, name day, birthday, etc.
Unfortunately, congratulations are rarely sent and arrived on time. This is an almost universal omission that has become a bad habit. And although it is clear, for example, that Easter and the Nativity of Christ are preceded by many days, even grueling fasting, that last days before the holidays are filled with troubles and a lot of worries - all this cannot serve as an excuse. We must make it a rule: to congratulate and respond to letters on time.
There are no strictly regulated rules for writing congratulations. The main thing is that congratulations should be sincere and breathe love. Nevertheless, some accepted or established forms can be noted.
Congratulations for Easter begins with the words: “Christ is Risen!” (usually in red ink) and ends: “Truly Christ is Risen!” (also in red).
A letter of congratulations might look like this:
Christ is Risen!
Beloved in the Lord N.! On the bright and great holiday - Holy Easter - I congratulate you and all your sincere ones. What joy in the soul: “For Christ has risen - eternal joy.”
May this festive rejoicing of your heart not leave you on all your paths. With love about the Risen Christ - yours. Truly Christ is Risen!
Congratulations on the Nativity of Christ may begin (there is no time-honored formula here, like Easter) with the words: “Christ is born - glorify!” (“born” - in Slavic). This is how the Irmos of the first song of the Christmas canon begins.
You can congratulate your loved ones, for example, as follows:
Christ is born - praise! Dear sister in Christ P.! My congratulations to you on the now born Christ and prayerful wishes to grow throughout your life in Christ according to the measure of His age. How to cleanse your heart in order to get closer to the great mystery of piety: “God has appeared in the flesh!”?
I wish you the help of the Divine Infant Christ inyour godly deeds. Your pilgrim K.
When writing congratulations for the name day (that is, the memory of a saint of the same name with us), they usually wish for the help of a heavenly intercessor.
IN patronal feast Congratulate the entire parish: the rector, the parishioners. If you want to address in a simple syllable, you can start like this: “I congratulate (me) my dear father rector (or dear priest) and all parishioners...”.
If you want to address in a more solemn and official style, then the title should be different. Here you will need to remember the above table. They address a deacon, priest, or hieromonk: “Your Reverence,” and an archpriest, abbot, or archimandrite: “Your Reverence.” The previously used address to the archpriest: “Your High Blessing” and the address to the priest: “Your Blessing” are extremely rarely used. In accordance with the address, all congratulations should be in a similar style.
This can also be used as a guideline when delivering a congratulatory speech or a toast on holidays or namesake days, which are held quite often in strong parishes where they live as one spiritual family.

At the table in the parish refectory

If you arrive at the moment when most of those gathered are already at the table, then you sit down in an empty place, without forcing everyone to move, or where the abbot blesses. If the meal has already begun, then, having asked for forgiveness, they wish everyone: “An angel at the meal” and sit down in an empty seat.
Usually in parishes there is no such clear division of tables as in monasteries: the first table, the second table, etc. Nevertheless, at the head of the table (that is, at the end, if there is one row of tables) or at a table placed perpendicularly, sits the rector or the senior priest. On his right side is the priest next in seniority, on his left is the priest by rank. Next to the priesthood sits the chairman of the parish council, council members, clergy (psalm-reader, reader, altar boy), and singers. The abbot usually blesses guests of honor to eat closer to the head of the table. In general, they are guided by the Savior’s words about humility at dinner (see:).
The order of meals in the parish often copies the monastic one: if it is an everyday table, then the appointed reader, standing behind the lectern, after the blessing of the priest, for the edification of those gathered, loudly reads the life or instruction, which is listened to with attention. If this is a festive meal, where birthday people are congratulated, then spiritual wishes and toasts are heard; Those who wish to pronounce them would do well to think in advance what to say. At the table, moderation is observed in everything: in eating and drinking, in conversations, jokes, and the duration of the feast. If gifts are presented to the birthday boy, these are most often icons, books, church utensils, sweets, and flowers. At the end of the feast, the hero of the occasion thanks all those gathered, who then sing to him “many years.” Praising and thanking the organizers of the dinner, all those who worked in the kitchen also observe moderation, for “the Kingdom of God is not food and drink, but joy in the Holy Spirit.”

How a priest is invited to fulfill a requirement

Sometimes it is necessary to invite a priest to fulfill the so-called requirements.
If you know the priest, you can invite him by phone. During a telephone conversation, as well as during a meeting, direct communication, they do not say to the priest: “Hello,” but build the beginning of the conversation like this: “Hello, is this Father Nikolai? Bless, father,” and then briefly, succinctly inform the purpose of the call. They end the conversation with thanksgiving and again: “Bless.” Either you need to find out from the priest, or from the person standing behind the candle box in the church, what needs to be prepared for the priest’s arrival. For example, if a priest is invited to give communion (admonition) to a sick person, it is necessary to prepare the patient, clean the room, take the dog out of the apartment, have candles, clean clothes, and water. For unction you need candles, pods with cotton wool, oil, and wine. During the funeral service, candles, a prayer of permission, a funeral cross, a veil, and an icon are required. Candles are prepared for the blessing of the house, vegetable oil, holy water. A priest invited to perform a service is usually left with a painful impression that the relatives do not know how to behave with the priest. It’s even worse if the TV is not turned off, music is playing, a dog is barking, half-naked young people are walking around.
At the end of the prayers, if the situation allows, you can offer the priest a cup of tea - this is a great opportunity for family members to talk about spiritual things and resolve some issues.

On the behavior of parishioners carrying out church obedience

The behavior of parishioners carrying out church obedience (selling candles, icons, cleaning the temple, guarding the territory, singing in the choir, serving at the altar) is a special topic. It is known what importance the Church attaches to obedience. Doing everything in the Name of God, overcoming your old man, is a very difficult task. It is further complicated by the fact that “getting used to the shrine” quickly appears, a feeling of being the owner (mistress) of the church, when the parish begins to seem like one’s own fiefdom, and hence - disdain for all “outsiders”, “coming”. Meanwhile, the holy fathers nowhere say that obedience is higher than love. And if God is Love, how can you become like Him without showing love yourself?
Brothers and sisters who bear obedience in churches should be examples of meekness, humility, gentleness, and patience. And the most basic culture: for example, being able to answer telephone calls. Anyone who has had to call churches knows what level of culture they are talking about - sometimes you don’t want to call anymore.
On the other hand, people going to church need to know that this is a special world with its own rules. Therefore, you cannot go to church dressed provocatively: women should not wear trousers, short skirts, no headdress, or lipstick; men should not come in shorts, T-shirts, or shirts with short sleeves; they should not smell of tobacco. These are issues not only of piety, but also of etiquette, because violating norms of behavior can cause a fair negative reaction (even if only in the soul) from others.
To everyone who, for some reason, had unpleasant moments of communication at the parish - advice: you came to God, to Him, and bring your heart, and overcome temptation with prayer and love.

In the monastery

The love of the Orthodox people for monasteries is known. There are now about 500 of them in the Russian Orthodox Church. And in each of them, in addition to monks, there are workers, pilgrims who come to strengthen themselves in faith, piety, and to work for the glory of God on the restoration or improvement of the monastery.
The monastery has stricter discipline than the parish. And although the mistakes of newcomers are usually forgiven and covered with love, it is advisable to go to the monastery already knowing the rudiments of the monastic rules.

Spiritual and administrative structure of the monastery

The monastery is headed by the sacred archimandrite - the ruling bishop or (if the monastery is stauropegial) the Patriarch himself.
However, the monastery is directly controlled by the governor (this can be an archimandrite, abbot, or hieromonk). In ancient times he was called the builder, or abbot. The convent is governed by the abbess.
Due to the need for clearly organized monastic life (and monasticism is spiritual path, so verified and polished by centuries of practice that it can be called academic) in the monastery everyone bears a certain obedience. The first assistant and deputy governor is the dean. He is in charge of all worship services and the fulfillment of statutory requirements. It is to him that people usually refer regarding the accommodation of pilgrims coming to the monastery.
Important place in the monastery belongs to the confessor who spiritually cares for the brethren. Moreover, this does not have to be an old man (both in the sense of age and in the sense of spiritual gifts).
From the experienced brethren the following are selected: treasurer (responsible for storing and distributing donations with the blessing of the governor), sacristan (responsible for the splendor of the temple, vestments, utensils, storage of liturgical books), housekeeper (responsible for the economic life of the monastery, in charge of the obediences of workers who come to the monastery), cellarer (responsible for storing and preparing food), hotel (responsible for the accommodation and accommodation of monastery guests) and others. In women's monasteries, these obediences are carried out by the nuns of the monastery, with the exception of the confessor, who is appointed by the bishop from among the experienced and usually elderly monks.

Appeal to the monks

In order to correctly address the monk (nun) of the monastery, you need to know that in the monasteries there are novices (novices), cassock monks (nuns), robed monks (nuns), schemamonks (schemanuns). IN monastery Some monks have holy orders (serve as deacons and priests).
Conversion in monasteries is as follows.
In a monastery. You can address the governor by indicating his position (“Father Governor, bless”) or by using his name (“Father Nikon, bless”), or perhaps simply “father” (rarely used). In an official setting: “Your Reverence” (if the governor is an archimandrite or abbot) or “Your Reverence” (if a hieromonk). In the third person they say: “father governor”, ​​“father Gabriel”.
The dean is addressed: with an indication of his position (“father dean”), with the addition of a name (“Father Pavel”), “father.” In the third person: “father dean” (“turn to father dean”) or “father... (name).”
The confessor is addressed using his name (“Father John”) or simply “father.” In the third person: “what the confessor will advise,” “what Father John will say.”
If the housekeeper, sacristan, treasurer, and cellarer have priestly rank, you can address them as “father” and ask for blessings. If they are not ordained, but have been tonsured, they say: “father housekeeper”, “father treasurer”. You can say to a hieromonk, abbot, or archimandrite: “father... (name)”, “father”.
A monk who has been tonsured is addressed as “father”; a novice is addressed as “brother” (if the novice is in old age – “father”). When addressing schema-monks, if rank is used, the prefix “schema” is added - for example: “I ask for your prayers, father schema-archimandrite.”
In a nunnery. The abbess, unlike the nuns, wears a gold pectoral cross and has the right to bless. Therefore, they ask for her blessing, addressing her in this way: “mother abbess”; or using the name: “Varvara’s mother”, “Nicholas’ mother” or simply “Mother”. (In a nunnery, the word “mother” refers only to the abbess. Therefore, if they say: “That’s what mother thinks,” they mean the abbess.)
When addressing nuns they say: “Mother Eulampia”, “Mother Seraphim”, but in a specific situation you can simply “Mother”. The novices are addressed as “sister” (in case of advanced age the novices may be addressed as “mother”).

About monastic rules

The monastery is a special world. And it takes time to learn the rules of monastic life. Since this book is intended for lay people, we will only point out the most necessary things that must be observed in a monastery during a pilgrimage.
When you come to the monastery as a pilgrim or worker, remember that in the monastery they ask for a blessing for everything and strictly fulfill it.
You cannot leave the monastery without a blessing.
They leave all their sinful habits and addictions outside the monastery (, etc.).
Conversations are only about spiritual things, they do not remember about worldly life, they do not teach each other, but they know only two words - “forgive” and “bless”.
Without grumbling, they are content with food, clothing, sleeping conditions, and eat food only at a common meal.
They do not go to other people’s cells, except when they are sent by the abbot. At the entrance to the cell they say aloud a prayer: “Through the prayers of our holy fathers, Lord Jesus Christ, the Son of God, have mercy on us” (in the convent: “Through the prayers of our holy mothers...”). They do not enter the cell until they hear from behind the door: “Amen.”
They avoid free speech, laughter, and jokes.
When working on obediences, they try to spare the weak person who works nearby, covering with love the errors in his work. When meeting each other, they greet each other with bows and the words: “Save yourself, brother (sister)”; and the other responds to this: “Save, Lord.” Unlike the world, they don’t take each other’s hands.
When sitting down at the table in the refectory, they observe the order of precedence. The prayer that the person serving the food says is answered “Amen”, the table is silent and listens to the reading.
They are not late for divine services, unless they are busy with obedience. Insults encountered during general obediences are endured humbly, thereby gaining experience in spiritual life and love for the brethren.

How to behave at a reception with a bishop

The bishop, the angel of the Church, loses his fullness and very essence without a bishop. Therefore, a church person always treats bishops with special respect.
When addressing the bishop, he is called “Vladyko” (“Vladyko, bless”). “Vladyko” is the vocative case of the Church Slavonic language, in nominative case– Lord; for example: “Vladyka Bartholomew blessed you...”.
Eastern (coming from Byzantium) solemnity and eloquence in addressing the bishop at first even confuses the heart of a person of little church, who can see here a (in fact non-existent) derogation of his own human dignity.
In official address, other expressions are used.
Addressing the bishop: Your Eminence; Your Eminence Vladyka. In the third person: “His Eminence ordained him a deacon...”.
Addressing the Archbishop and Metropolitan: Your Eminence; Your Eminence Vladyka. In the third person: “With the blessing of His Eminence, we inform you...”.
Addressing the Patriarch: Your Holiness; Holy Master. In the third person: “His Holiness visited ... the diocese.”
A blessing is taken from the bishop in the same way as from a priest: the palms are folded crosswise one on top of the other (the right one is at the top) and they approach the bishop for the blessing.
A telephone conversation with a bishop begins with the words: “Bless, Vladyka” or “Bless, Your Eminence (Eminence).”
The letter can begin with the words: “Master, bless” or “Your Eminence (High Eminence), bless.”
When formally contacting a person in writing to the bishop adhere to the following form.
In the upper right corner of the sheet write, observing the line:

His Eminence
To the Most Reverend (name),
Bishop (name of diocese),

Petition.

When contacting to the archbishop or Metropolitan:

His Eminence
Your Eminence (name),
Archbishop (Metropolitan), (name of diocese),

Petition.

When contacting To the Patriarch:

His Holiness
His Holiness Patriarch of Moscow and All Rus'
Alexy

Petition.

They usually end a petition or letter with these words: “I ask for the prayers of Your Eminence...”.
Priests, who are, in fact, under church obedience, write: “Humble novice of Your Eminence...”.
At the bottom of the sheet they put the date according to the old and new styles, indicating the saint whose memory the Church honors on this day. For example: July 5/18. St. Sergius of Radonezh.
Arriving at an appointment with the bishop at the diocesan administration, they approach the secretary or head of the chancellery, introduce themselves and tell them why they are asking for an appointment. Entering the bishop’s office, they say the prayer: “Through the prayers of our holy Master, Lord Jesus Christ, the Son of God, have mercy on us,” they cross themselves onto the icon in the red corner, approach the bishop and ask for his blessing. At the same time, there is no need to kneel or prostrate out of excessive reverence or fear (unless, of course, you have come confessing to some sin).
There are usually many priests in the diocesan administration, but it is not necessary to take a blessing from each of them. In addition, there is a clear rule: in the presence of the bishop, they do not take blessings from the priests, but only greet them with a slight bow of the head.
If a bishop leaves his office for the reception, he is approached for blessing in order: first the priests (according to seniority), then the laity (men, then women).
The bishop's conversation with someone is not interrupted by a request for a blessing, but they wait until the end of the conversation. They think about their appeal to the bishop in advance and present it briefly, without unnecessary gestures or facial expressions. At the end of the conversation, they again ask for the bishop’s blessing and, having crossed themselves at the icon in the red corner, they sedately leave.

Outside the church walls

Church person in the family

Family life is everyone’s private matter. But since the family is considered a home church, we can talk about church etiquette here too.
Church piety and home piety are interrelated and complementary. A true son or daughter of the Church remains such outside the Church. The Christian worldview determines the entire structure of a believer’s life. Without touching here on the big topic of domestic piety, let us touch on some issues related to etiquette.
Appeal. Name. Because the name Orthodox Christian has a mystical meaning and is associated with our heavenly patron, then it should be used in the family in its full form if possible: Nikolai, Kolya, but not Kolcha, Kolyunya; Innocent, but not Kesha; Olga, but not Lyalka, etc. Use endearments is not excluded, but it must be reasonable. Familiarity in speech often indicates that invisibly family relationships have lost their trepidation, that routine has taken over. It is also unacceptable to call pets (dogs, cats, parrots, guinea pigs, etc.) by human names. Love for animals can turn into a genuine passion that diminishes love for God and man.
House, apartment A church person should be an example of everyday and spiritual conformity. To limit yourself to the required number of things, kitchen utensils, furniture means to see the measure of the spiritual and material, giving preference to the first. A Christian does not chase fashion; this concept should generally be absent from the world of his values. A believer knows that every thing requires attention, care, time, which is often not enough for communication with loved ones, for prayer, and reading the Holy Scriptures. Finding a compromise between Martha and Mary (according to the Gospel), fulfilling the duties of a master, mistress of the house, father, mother, son, daughter in a Christian manner, conscientiously, and at the same time not forgetting about the one thing that is needed is a whole spiritual art, spiritual wisdom. Undoubtedly, the spiritual center of the house, gathering the whole family during hours of prayer and spiritual conversations, should be a room with a well-chosen set of icons (home iconostasis), orienting worshipers to the east.
Icons should be in every room, as well as in the kitchen and hallway. The absence of an icon in the hallway usually causes some confusion among believers who come to visit: when they enter the house and want to cross themselves, they do not see the image. Confusion (on both sides) is also caused by ignorance by either the guest or the host of the usual form of greeting for believers. The person entering says: “Through the prayers of the saints, our fathers. Lord Jesus Christ, Son of God, have mercy on us,” to which the owner replies: “Amen”; or the guest says: “Peace to your home,” and the owner replies: “We accept you in peace.”
In the apartment of a church person, spiritual books should not be on the same rack (shelf) with worldly, secular books. It is not customary to wrap spiritual books in newspaper. The church newspaper is under no circumstances used for household needs. Spiritual books, magazines, and newspapers that have become unusable are burned.
Portraits and photographs are not placed in the red corner next to icons. dear to the owners of people.
Icons are not placed on the TV and are not hung above the TV.
Under no circumstances should plaster, wooden or other images of pagan gods, ritual masks of African or Indian tribes, etc., which are now so common, be kept in the apartment.
It is advisable to invite a guest who comes (even for a short time) to tea. Oriental hospitality can serve as a good example here. positive influence which is so noticeable in the cordiality of Orthodox Christians living in Central Asia and in the Caucasus. When inviting guests for a specific occasion (name day, birthday, church holiday, baptism of a child, wedding, etc.), they first think through the composition of the guests. At the same time, they proceed from the fact that believers have a different worldview and interests than people who are far from faith. Therefore, it may happen that a non-believer will find conversations on a spiritual topic incomprehensible and boring, and this may offend and offend. Or it may happen that the whole evening will be spent on a heated (hopefully not fruitless) argument, when the holiday will be forgotten. But if the person invited is on the path to faith, looking for the truth, such meetings at the table can benefit him. Good recordings of sacred music or a film about holy places can brighten up the evening, as long as it is moderate and not overly drawn out.

About gifts on days of important spiritual events

At baptism the godmother gives the child-godson “rizki” (fabric or matter in which the baby is wrapped when taken out of the baptismal font), a christening shirt and a cap with lace and ribbons; The color of these ribbons should be: pink for girls, blue for boys. In addition to the gift, the godfather, at his discretion, is obliged to prepare a cross for the newly baptized and pay for the christening. Both the godfather and the godmother can give gifts to the child's mother.
Wedding gifts. The groom's responsibility is to buy rings. According to the old times church rule for the groom, a gold ring is needed (the head of the family is the sun), for the bride - a silver one (the mistress is the moon, shining with reflected sunlight). The year, month and day of engagement are carved on the inside of both rings. In addition, the initial letters of the bride's first and last names are cut out on the inside of the groom's ring, and the initial letters of the groom's first and last names are cut out on the inside of the bride's ring. In addition to gifts for the bride, the groom gives a gift to the parents and brothers and sisters of the bride. The bride and her parents, for their part, also give a gift to the groom.

Wedding traditions

If there will be a planted father and mother at the wedding (they replace their parents at the wedding for the bride and groom), then after the wedding they should meet the newlyweds at the entrance to the house with an icon (held by the planted father) and bread and salt (offered by the planted mother). According to the rules, the imprisoned father must be married, and the imprisoned mother must be married.
As for the best man, he must certainly be single. There can be several best men (both from the groom's side and from the bride's side).
Before leaving for church, the groom's best man gives the bride, on behalf of the groom, a bouquet of flowers, which should be: for the bride - orange flowers and myrtle, and for the widow (or second-wed) - white roses and lilies of the valley.
At the entrance to the church, ahead of the bride, according to custom, is a boy of five to eight years old, who carries the icon.
During a wedding, the main duty of the best man and maid of honor is to hold the crowns over the heads of the bride and groom. It can be quite difficult to hold the crown with your hand raised up for a considerable time. Therefore, groomsmen can alternate among themselves. In the church, relatives and friends from the groom's side stand on the right (that is, behind the groom), and on the bride's side - on the left (that is, behind the bride). It is considered extremely indecent to leave the church before the wedding is over.
The main manager at a wedding is the best man. Together with close friend For the bride, he goes around the guests to collect money, which is then donated to the church for charitable causes.
Toasts and wishes that are pronounced at a wedding in families of believers, of course, should be primarily of spiritual content. Here they remember: the purpose of Christian marriage; about what love is in the understanding of the Church; about the duties of husband and wife, according to the Gospel; about how to build a family - a home church, etc. The wedding of church people takes place in compliance with the requirements of decency and moderation.

In days of trouble

Finally, a few notes about the time when all festivities are abandoned. This is a time of mourning, that is, an outward expression of feelings of sadness for the deceased. There are deep mourning and ordinary mourning.
Deep mourning is worn only for father, mother, grandfather, grandmother, husband, wife, brother, sister. Mourning for father and mother lasts one year. According to grandparents - six months. For the husband - two years, for the wife - one year. For children – one year. For brother and sister - four months. According to uncle, aunt and cousin - three months. If a widow, contrary to decency, enters into new marriage before the end of mourning for her first husband, then she should not invite any of the guests to the wedding. These periods can be shortened or increased if, before death, those remaining in this earthly vale received a special blessing from the dying person, for pre-death benevolence and blessing (especially parental) are treated with respect and reverence.
In general, in Orthodox families, no important decisions are made without the blessing of parents or elders. From an early age, children learn to ask for the blessings of their father and mother even for everyday activities: “Mommy, I’m going to bed, bless me.” And the mother, having crossed the child, says: “A guardian angel for your sleep.” A child goes to school, on a hike, to a village (to a city) - along all the paths he is protected by his parent’s blessing. If possible, parents add visible signs, gifts, blessings to their blessing (at the marriage of their children or before their death): crosses, icons, holy relics. The Bible, which, forming a home shrine, is passed down from generation to generation.
The inexhaustible bottomless sea of ​​church life. It is clear that this small book contains only some outlines of church etiquette.
As we say goodbye to the pious reader, we ask for his prayers.

Notes

Hierarchically, the rank of archimandrite in the black clergy corresponds in the white clergy to the mitred archpriest and protopresbyter (senior priest in cathedral).
The question is how to distinguish them if they are not all familiar to you. Some clue is given by the cross worn by the priest: a cross with decoration is necessarily an archpriest, a gilded one is either an archpriest or a priest, a silver cross is a priest.
The commonly used expression “day of the Angel” is not entirely correct, although the saints are called “angels on earth.”
See: Good form. Rules social life and etiquette. – St. Petersburg, 1889. P. 281 (reprint: M., 1993).
Among believers, it is customary to pronounce the full, unabridged formula of thanksgiving: not “thank you,” but “God save” or “Lord save.”
There is no spiritual justification for the practice of some parishes, where parishioners who work in the kitchen, in the sewing workshop, etc., are called mothers. In the world, it is customary to call only the wife of a priest (priest) a mother.
In Orthodox families, birthdays are celebrated less solemnly than name days (unlike Catholics and, of course, Protestants).

Before considering how to address clergy in conversation and in writing, it is worth familiarizing yourself with the hierarchy of priests that exists in the Orthodox Church.

The priesthood in Orthodoxy is divided into 3 levels:

– deacon;

- priest;

- bishop.

Before stepping on the first step of the priesthood, devoting himself to serving God, the believer must decide for himself whether he will marry or become a monk. Married clergy are classified as the white clergy, while monks are classified as the black clergy. In accordance with this, the following structures of the priestly hierarchy are distinguished.

Secular clergy

I. Deacon:

– deacon;

– protodeacon (senior deacon, usually in the cathedral).

II. Priest:

- priest, or priest, or presbyter;

– archpriest (senior priest);

– mitered archpriest and protopresbyter (senior priest in the cathedral).

Black clergy

I. Deacon:

– hierodeacon;

– archdeacon (senior deacon in the monastery).

II. Priest:

– hieromonk;

– abbot;

- archimandrite.

III. Bishop (bishop).

- bishop;

- archbishop;

- metropolitan;

- patriarch.

Thus, only a minister belonging to the black clergy can become a bishop. In turn, the white clergy also includes ministers who, along with the rank of deacon or priest, have taken a vow of celibacy (celibacy).

“I beseech your shepherds... feed the flock of God which is yours, overseeing it not under compulsion, but willingly and pleasing to God, not for vile gain, but out of zeal, and not lording it over God’s inheritance, but setting an example for the flock.”

(1 Pet. 5:1–2).

Nowadays, monastic priests can be seen not only in monasteries, but also in parishes where they serve. If a monk is a schema monk, that is, he accepted the schema, which is the most high degree monasticism, the prefix “schema” is added to his rank, for example, schema-hierodeacon, schema-monk, schema-bishop, etc.

When addressing someone from the clergy, you should use neutral words. You should not use the address “father” without using this name, as it will sound too familiar.

In church, clergy should also be addressed as “you.”

In close relationships, the address “you” is allowed, but in public it is still better to adhere to the address “you,” even if this is the wife of a deacon or priest. She can address her husband as “you” only at home or in private, but in the parish such an address can belittle the authority of the minister.

In church, when addressing clergy, one must say their names as they sound in Church Slavonic. For example, you should say “Father Sergius” and not “Father Sergei”, “Deacon Alexy” and not “Deacon Alexey”, etc.

When addressing a deacon, you can use the words “father deacon.” To find out his name, you need to ask: “Excuse me, what is your holy name?” However, in this way you can address any Orthodox believer.

If a deacon is addressed by his proper name, the address “father” should be used. For example, “Father Vasily,” etc. In a conversation, when mentioning a deacon in the third person, you should call him “Father Deacon” or by a proper name with the address “father.” For example: “Father Andrei said that...” or “Father deacon advised me...”, etc.

A deacon in a church is approached to ask for advice or to ask for prayer. He is an assistant priest. However, a deacon does not have ordination, and therefore does not have the right to independently perform the rites of baptism, wedding, unction, as well as serve the liturgy and confess. Therefore, you should not contact him with a request to carry out such actions. He also cannot perform services, such as consecrating a house or performing a funeral service. It is believed that he does not have special grace-filled power for this, which the minister receives only during his ordination to the priesthood.

When addressing a priest, the word “father” is used. IN colloquial speech It is permissible to call a priest priest, but this should not be done in an official speech. The minister himself, when introducing himself to other people, should say: “Priest Andrei Mitrofanov,” or “Priest Nikolai Petrov,” “Hegumen Alexander,” etc. He will not introduce himself: “I am Father Vasily.”

When a priest is mentioned in a conversation and spoken of in the third person, one can say: “Father the rector advised,” “Father Vasily blessed,” etc. Calling him by his rank will not be very euphonious in this case. Although, if there are priests with the same names in the parish, to distinguish them, next to the name they put the rank corresponding to each of them. For example: “Hegumen Pavel is now holding a wedding, you can address your request to Hieromonk Pavel.” You can also call the priest by his last name: “Father Peter Vasiliev is on a business trip.”

The combination of the word “father” and the priest’s surname (for example, “Father Ivanov”) sounds too official, so it is used very rarely in colloquial speech.

When meeting, the parishioner must greet the priest with the word “Bless!”, while folding his hands to receive a blessing (if the greeter is next to the priest). It is not customary in church practice to say “hello” or “good afternoon” to a priest. The priest responds to the greeting: “God bless” or “In the name of the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit.” At the same time, he makes the sign of the cross over the layman, after which he places his palms on his folded palms to receive the blessing. right hand, which the layman must kiss.

The priest can bless parishioners in other ways, for example, by making the sign of the cross on the bowed head of a layman or blessing from a distance.

Male parishioners may also receive the priest's blessing differently. They kiss the hand, the cheek, and again the hand of the minister who blesses them.

When a priest blesses a layman, the latter should under no circumstances apply the sign of the cross to himself at the same time. This action is called "being baptized by the priest." This behavior is not very decent.

Asking for a blessing and receiving it are basic components of church etiquette. These actions are not a mere formality. They testify to an established relationship between the priest and the parishioner. If a lay person asks for a blessing less often or stops asking for it altogether, this is a signal to the minister that the parishioner has some problems in his earthly life or on a spiritual plane. The same applies to the situation when the priest does not want to bless a layman. In this way, the pastor tries to make it clear to the parishioner that something contrary to Christian life is happening in the latter’s life, that the church is not blessing him.

“...Youngers, obey the shepherds; Nevertheless, being submissive to each other, clothe yourself with humility, because God resists the proud, but gives grace to the humble. Humble yourselves, therefore, under the mighty hand of God, that He may exalt you in due time.”

(1 Pet. 5:5–6).

Usually, refusal of a blessing is painfully endured by both the priest and the laity, which suggests that such actions are not purely formal. In this case, both should try to smooth out the tension in the relationship by confessing and asking for forgiveness from each other.

From the day of Easter and for the next forty days, parishioners should first of all greet the pastor with the words “Christ is Risen,” to which the priest usually responds: “Truly He is Risen” and gives his blessing with the usual gesture.

Two priests greet each other with the words “Bless” or “Christ is in our midst,” to which the answer follows: “And it is, and it will be.” They then shake hands, kiss the cheek once or thrice, and then kiss each other's right hand.

If a parishioner finds himself in the company of several priests at once, he should ask for a blessing first from the senior priests, and then from the younger ones, for example, first from the archpriest, then from the priest. If a layman is not familiar with them, the rank can be distinguished by the cross that the priests wear: the archpriest has a cross with decorations or is gilded, and the priest has a silver cross, sometimes gilded.

It is customary to take a blessing from all nearby priests. If this is difficult for any reason, you can simply ask: “Bless, honest fathers” - and bow. The address “holy father” is not accepted in Orthodoxy.

“The blessing of the Lord - it enriches and does not bring sorrow with it”

(Prov. 10:22)

If several people approach the priest at once for a blessing, men should apply first, according to seniority, and then women. If church ministers are present in this group of people, they are the first to ask for blessings.

If a family approaches the priest, the husband comes out first for the blessing, then the wife, followed by the children in order of seniority. At this time, you can introduce someone to the priest, for example, your son, and then ask him to bless him. For example: “Father Matthew, this is my son. Please bless him."

When parting, instead of saying goodbye, the layman also asks the priest for a blessing, saying: “Forgive, father, and bless.”

If a layman meets a priest outside the church walls (on the street, in transport, in a store, etc.), he can still ask for a blessing if he does not distract the pastor from other matters. If it is difficult to take the blessing, you just need to bow.

In communicating with a priest, a layman must show respect and reverence, since the minister is the bearer of special grace, which he receives during the sacrament of ordination to the priesthood. In addition, the priest is appointed to be a shepherd and mentor of the believers.

When talking with a clergyman, you should watch yourself so that there is nothing indecent in your gaze, words, gestures, facial expressions, or posture. The speech of a layman should not contain rude, abusive, slang words, with which the speech of many people in the world is full. Addressing a priest in an overly familiar manner is also not allowed.

When talking to a clergyman, you should not touch him. It is better to be at a distance that is not very close. You cannot behave cheekily or defiantly. There is no need to stare or grin at the priest’s face. The look should be meek. It’s good to lower your eyes a little when talking.

“The highest honor should be accorded to worthy elders who rule, especially to those who labor in the word and in doctrine. For the Scripture says: do not load it, give mouth to the threshing ox; and: the worker is worthy of his reward"

(1 Tim. 5:17–18).

If the priest is standing, the lay person should not sit in his presence. When the priest sits down, the lay person can sit down only after being asked to sit down.

When talking with a priest, a layman must remember that through a pastor who is involved in the sacraments of God, God Himself can speak, teaching the truth of God and righteousness.